A
female
age
41-50,
*yespy17
writes:I have been seeing a guy for six weeks. We were hanging out every single day for a month. He took me on dates, etc. We slept together one month in and then we had a fight and it's been weird ever since. Tonight I asked him where we stood and he said its too soon to have the girlfriend/boyfriend conversation. He said he likes me and hasn't been seeing anyone else but has the right to. I think he has been seeing someone else because ever since our fight - he has backed off. He is acting like crazy for bringing up what amounts to an exclusive "boyfriend/girlfriend" conversation. But I think it's the right time to address the future before there is any more sex / attachment. He says of course he has the right to still be dating . I said "fine then ill make sure i am too" He got upset and said that he is not saying hea running out and having other sex but hes also saying he doesn't like me enough to only be with me. So after six weeks - at the age of 35 and 39 - that's him rejecting me, right? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (6 October 2012):
Eyespy17 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo gemz88 and other responders - do you all agree that it's not too soon or odd to have this initial talk after six weeks - having spent 4 to 5 days a week together and talking/texting every day?
He tired to make me feel like a crazy woman for bringing it up? I told him "if you are still dating other people then I need to make sure I am also" - so no one makes assumptions and gets hurt (mainly me).
A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (5 October 2012):
Eyespy17 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers. We only had sex once and it WILL NOT be happening again now that I have gotten that answer.
His response was "we've had sex once and you're trying to have the boyfriend/girlfriend talk?" (which discounts the entire six weeks of dating/getting to know each other)
My point was - I just want to know a relationship has potential and a future - before I become I become (more) attached than I already am.
Lesson here: I should have had the conversation before the sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2012): It doesn't sound like he is ready to commit to an exclusive relationship with someone. He is keeping his options open.Since he is the one that said he has the "right" to be dating others then by all means you should go ahead and date others as well.I just wouldn't be so "available" to him when he calls or if he wants to have another date to see you. It's best to set the rules now. If he isn't wanting more from this relationship then you should be out dating others and finding the one man that is ready for an exclusive relationship. I wouldn't waste my time on him if he doesn't want the same type of relationship as you do.Fyi-my fiance wanted an exclusive relationship a month into our dating. He was ready to settle down. Your guy is not ready yet or on the same page as you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2012): Babe, you need to stop having sex with this man. What I can tell is that he's having sex with you and leading you on, giving you the hope that someday something might happen between the two of you, but I seriously doubt it's gonna happen. The transition from sex buddies to a couple is not always a smooth one. Ever heard of the saying - "why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free?". This applies to the situation you're in right now and as long as you keep giving him sex, he's never gonna realise your worth and take the next step with you.It's not a surprise that he has sex with you as and when he likes but still says he's free to date anyone else. The day will come where he's done with his fun with you and moves on to someone else. You need to save yourself from that pain. Give yourself to someone who deserves you and is committed to you, rather than someone who only keeps you as an option.
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