A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 7 mths into my marriage and feel like I'm failing. My expectations for the kind of marriage i want is gone and i need your help seasoned couples.Something is wrong and i need to fix it. First i need to know if im tripping about what i consider inappropriate behavior in a marriage.Keeping open line communications with your exes friend. Some old little girl contacting you after inquiring about you from an old friend. But why will she be looking for you and why is your friend not telling her you are married. Why did you accept the call and no mention of your marriage. Why do you still talk about your ex? She's married with a child but you still talk to people on the phone about her.Today you ask me if it is appropriate for someone to ask you specifically for a baby gift. You tell me this is the daughter of a family friend of yours that you've never met. I looked at the text message she sounds flirty asking you to come see her with a gift preferably a stroller. What will make her that comfortable with you? And where is her baby daddy? You go to the party alone and found out the baby daddy is not there so it looks like you were there as a potential hook up mate. Something is not right.Half of leftovers in the refrigerator spoils because you don't touch them. You complain of my cooking which no one has never done before. Until i found out last week you had a dad who did the same with his wife. How do i set out to cook Something nice for you then and be a good wife?I hate to get up in the morning to cook because i don't know whats coming out of your mouth. Everything you ask me to cook i cook but you like it today and tomorrow its no good and it sits there till it spoils.You sleep in the living room when we argue.You yell at our baby like you don't love her. Is it because you have two of your oen from previous marriage and you want a boy and i didn't do that? Why is our child to suffer for this?I try to see the nice in him all the time but I'm beginning to see that i may not have what it takes to be a great wife to him.Where am i failing? Am i tripping for thinking he is inappropriate with other women who he still speaks to? Why don't they talk to him like he's married. Why are they still flirtatious? What do i do about feeding him? I've ran out of ideas for food. He feels like I'm treating him bad and he's grown. Should i just ignore all these things?Please help save my marriage. Ive never had to deal with something like this. I thought i knew him but he's looking like a completely different person to me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 December 2015):
 Get him to cook you a nice meal for a change, your spending your time trying to be a good wife to him, but who is looking out for you? If he is not telling these girls he is married then their is something wrong here. Do not accept this behavior, he should be showing you off not flirting with other women. He should never shout at a baby. You need to put your foot down and show him that you will not live like this, if he thinks he can keep treating you like this then he will, and the worse you allow him to treat you, the less respect he will have for you as a person. Its time you stand up to him, if not for you then for your daughter.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (14 December 2015):
 There are several aspects to this all rolled up in one - your husband. Let's take it from the top. Yelling at your baby girl is totally out of order. That has to stop. So does the all the phone flirting. He has YOU now, and shouldn't need any others. If the boot was on the other foot would he stand for it? I think not.
As for the food why not make something new from the left overs or serve them up as a side dish with today's special? That way you get a kind of rolling menu. If he isn't eating what's cooked at home then what is he eating, and where?
You need to stamp a bit of authority on this. He may be king of the jungle but you should rule in the home. If he doesn't buy into this it may have to be goodbye because you can't be expected live as someone's doormat.
Sorry but it sounds like you picked a right muppet. Have you got a one who will listen to reason or an uneducated jerk with his head in the last century? I appreciate how difficult it may be to be independent with a small child. It was the age old method to tie a woman to the kitchen sink. Don't have any more with this man until you are sure you are rock solid. And get your own income as soon as you can.
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