A
female
age
30-35,
*ebeccaa
writes:Hi I'd like some advice. I have a friend that doesn't seem to want me to be with anybody, she is 20 and I'll be 20 in a month. We've been friends from being 14years old. She has always been like this and I have never known why. She's always been the type of friend to copy you and the type of friend that can't do anything without someone holding her hand.She has hated every boyfriend I've ever had and ever guy I've been involved with even before things turned out bad she still had something bad to say never anything good. I just put that down to her being single, even tho it isn't acceptable to want your friend to be single just because you are we all feel and think it at times, however now she has a fiancé and a baby and live in their own little flat and she's still the same. A family friend of hers likes me and the four of us spend a lot of time together but I don't feel that way towards him, at first I thought I'd try it out and see how I felt but she wasn't too happy although she did say she would rather me be with him than anyone else. I thought that was probably because he always gives me lifts to hers as it's quite hard for me to get to. I have been texting a guy for a while who at first I thought I liked but now after talking to him for a while I've realised I only like him as a friend. In the process of getting to know each other we built up quite a long line of kisses and now I'm trying to let him down gently, she saw a message from him and asked who it was I told her and she demanded I put 1 kiss to him on the next message to 'put him in his place'. Can anyone help me here? Do you know why she's like this? What can I do or say the next time I start seeing someone without upsetting her?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2015): HiI had a 'friend' like this who controlled me with her moods and anger for 22 years. Every time I got a boyfriend she would scream her house down, have a meltdown, anything to stop me from going to see him. She was great as long as I did what she wanted. Which was be with her. She wanted me to herself and I never really knew why although she did admit once that she had a crush on me at high school (many years before)There was nothing I could do in the end, after years of this, other than tell her I'd had enough. I felt bad for a few days and then never gave her a second thought. The relief was enormous. I don't know if this helps you, but maybe hearing about someone else's experience, which sounds similar, may help. My experience has been that this kind of behaviour doesn't stop, especially when you facilitate it by trying to accommodate her.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (14 December 2015):
 Which is more important, your jealous jealous friend or your boyfriend? I think you need to assess your priorities and act accordingly - unless you are going to live in each other's pockets for the rest of your life.
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