A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI'm an introvert shy person, I haven't friends and even I tried to make some, something in me repels people I believe, no one stays with me as friends. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I sometimes go out of my way and help, which makes people remember me only when they need something from me.I'm divorced and potential dates I get thru dating site, but those too don't stick due to my introversion. It seems everyone wants to be a it's someone who has whole lot of friends.I like staying at home, but sometimes I like to go out and its friends too, I mean shopping is too boring when u do alone and almost all weekends I'm at home which makes me feel more lonely than its supposed to be. I tried going to meetups and groups, which I can go only during weekends and that too didn't pave out. Pls help me
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male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (13 December 2015):
 Perhaps you don't understand what being an introvert is. It doesn't mean you don't like people or even that you are no good with them. It means their company drains you. Introverts have to put out a lot of energy to be with others particularly in larger groups.
Extroverts gain energy from being in company with others.
Now it sounds to me as if there is some other reason people don't like you, but I can't guess what that might be. All I can tell you is don't be heavy in the company of slight acquaintances. Be light, be positive and listen well to others stories. People love an audience so try and be a good listener then perhaps they will listen to you too.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2015): If you are shy then it would be difficult for people to speak to you to begin with, so it would be hard for a person to make an instant friend connection.Have you tried working on your confidence? There are plenty of self help things on the net that can help you overcome shyness, you could try looking at that.I was incredibly shy when I was younger because I cared way too much about what others thought of me. I wouldn't talk a lot of the time because I was so insecure and afraid of what people would think. As I've gotten older I really don't care. The less you worry about it the easier it is to chat about absolutely anything.The key thing is that you actually LIKE staying at home and only sometimes like going out. If you want to start building friendships maybe you should try to go out as much as you possibly can.If you like being at home then don't fret so much about the number of friends you have, it's not about the quantity. If you are an introvert then you would enjoy being by yourself, don't look at social media thinking you have to have hundreds of friends or look at other people and compare yourself.As for the dating site, try and start looking for women who are interested in the things you like so you can talk at ease about things you find interesting.But at the end of the day you say you are divorced, you can't be all that shy and introverted to the point where it stops you meeting new friends and having girlfriends, or you would have never have met and married your ex wife.
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