A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:How do I get more confident around new guys? I'm 16 and I'm kind of shy around people when I first meet them, especially guys. Obviously once I get to know the guys I don't care about trying to impress them or doing weird stuff, its just at first. I've just started college this year and apart from the fact that all of my classes happen to be 95% girls, I see guys that I find attractive or want to be friends with everywhere I turn. I know some girls that can just talk to anybody no problem, which I kind of can do, just sometimes I'd rather avoid the guys instead of forcing a conversation (especially when I'm attracted to them), and I'm not proud of myself for being like that. How can I put my fears of possibly getting rejected or ignored aside and just talk to these guys?
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male
reader, Been there Now over it  +, writes (11 December 2015):
Learn something about topics that are of interest to the guys at your school. They could be things such as sports, student affairs (not the romantic kind) or school politics. Learn enough to be passionate about these interests and let some of that passion show when you talk with them. It'll take away some of your shyness and impress the guys. If you have any interest in it, consider joining your school newspaper as a reporter.
A
female
reader, Risingstar624 +, writes (11 December 2015):
I had similar problems when i was your age. Fear of rejection is hard. An easy way to strike up a conversation with a guy is find a common interest. If he is playing a game of ultimate frisbee ask if you can join (or you and your friend if you don't want to try alone) if he is in your class ask if you could exchange notes or something. If theres nothing else like that then a nice comment could be an ice breaker. something like Hey i like that t shirt! You might not date them, you might not even be friends. but if you start putting yourself out there and just taking to guys. one sentence at a time, you will build up your confidence to the point where you can ask follow up questions like. hey do you want to study together? or i would love to play ultimate frisbee with you guys more often, u want to hit me up when you guys are having a game? Little things like that will most likely not be ignored. i wouldn't just jump head first into asking a guy out though, that would defiantly be an easy way of being rejected and ignored. start with trying to make some friends and then work your way from there. friends make the best boyfriends. good luck!Lastly if you are ever worried about someone saying no to you remember: if you don't ask them. the answer will always be no. you need to give them the opportunity to say yes.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (10 December 2015):
 If you imagine them wearing something ridiculous then it helps dispel any fears you might have.I think JK Rowling used the idea for dealing with Bogarts in one of the Harry Potter films.
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