A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I am single, educated girl. I didn't have any bf not in my highschool,not in college not now either. I am a virgin. I always read and fascinate about true love and all those poetic imagination. But I didn't like any guy I met till this date. I just want to fall in love once in my life. I know if it is destined to happen it will happen. The thing is that I feel very underconfident when I see the couples who are in love. One thing is sure that I am not ready for being in relationship with anyone except my mr. Perfect. I sometimes even feel jealous seeing the people who are in relationship with the one they loves. Help me stand with confidence to what I feel. I want to give the privillage of touching me to only that guy who I would love. All my friends are in relationship and they are creating the peer pressure on me...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2015): Nice to see this.While there is no Mr.Perfect,there are guys out there who see sex as sacred and reserved for marriage/true love and practice abstinence until they have met the one. Keep the faith!
A
female
reader, anonem  +, writes (13 December 2015):
 I want to give wiseowlE an applaude for his comment. I think he has said it all.One thing you should know is never go into a relationship because of peer pressure. You will just end up dating so many guys that you have nothing in common with. Go into a relationship because it is what you want and you are ready for it.I started dating at 17 because of pressure from my family(always mocking me I was the only one left and the only virgin in the house). 5 years down, I didn't find mr perfect, I only got into toxic relationships because I did not know what I wanted and dated just to be in a relationship. I was very depressed and sad and bitter and mean all this years. I have currently be single for sometime now and I can tell you that I finally found hapiness. Many people think their happiness comes from another person, it dosent, it comes from you, from within. And also you need to understand that people fight in relationships and it's not pretty. Relationships aren't all that dovey. There's also no mr perfect anywhere. I wish you all the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2015): You are right to stand your ground and not be rushed in to dating anybody until you feel ready. Don't pay any attention to what others want you to do, it's totally up to you what you want in life.
But I do think that maybe you have high expectations of a man when you think he is Mr Right. Nobody in this world is perfect, just like I'm not or you are not. Everybody gets hurt a long the way and I hope that when you start seeing somebody, in your own time, that you won't get really disappointed if somebody ends up doing something that will hurt you.
Also sometimes people you would never expect to be right for you in fact are. How would you ever know who was your mr perfect if you never agree to date anybody. I'm just wondering if maybe you have watched too many romantic movies or you have books in your head and feel like a thunderbolt will hit you one day when you see the guy you've been dreaming about.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2015): This advice has all been good. But just remember one thing. There is no Mr. Perfect. That is asking the impossible of anyone.
Humans are, by our very nature, imperfect. Find someone you feel stongly for and who feels strongly for you and take it from there.
If you keep waiting for perfection... you will be waiting a long time.
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2015): Bowing to peer pressure is a sign of weakness of character. That's the nature of a follower, not a leader. You have your plan for love setup and you should carry it out as you want to. Let your friends worry about their own love-lives.
You are very young, so you will have a very romanticized fantasy of what love should be. As you get older, and have more experience with men; you will determine there is no such thing as Mr. Perfect. Only the best match, and the right guy for you. You will kiss a few frogs, before you find him. He's out there, but you need some experience with the reality of things. Nobody's perfect, nor are you.
Virginity is your prize and reward to the man who wins your heart. Many will try to steal it, if you behave too childishly. You have to date men in order to understand anything about them. So you may fall for the first guy who learns how to play on your fantasies, and please your imaginary concept of love. Watch your friends and how the fight and make up. Don't just look at the pretty side. They will perform for the public and act all lovey-dovey; but they will behave very differently toward each other when no one is watching.
Don't place yourself up on a pedestal, virgin or not, you're still only human. You have to allow yourself to meet guys and spend time with them. You also have to show signs of maturity, or you'll get played for being naive and starry-eyed. That kind of behavior is for young ladies much younger than yourself.
Take your time, get to know the guy. Don't be pressured by anyone do to anything; because it's your body and your conscience that you have to live with. Men do not picture virginity in the same mindset as females. Culturally many see it as purity, and some crass individuals only see it as a cherry to pop. Be most cautious and feel out his personality and know what is real and what is play-acting.
If you tell them too much of what your fantasy is, the wrong guy will perform for you. He will take advantage of your naivety. So talk to your mother and other older women, so they can give you the right concept of what you are looking for and what to do when you find it.
Good luck, sweetheart!
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (12 December 2015):
 Of course you are getting a little push in the back from friends, particularly if they have steady boyfriends. Most young people have numerous dates with different people before they decide to settle with one alone. It's a learning process and one of the things you find out is that nobody is perfect.
I think if you hang around for the perfect mate you may still be waiting when you are picking up your pension.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't pick a good one!
Just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean you have to play mummies and daddies. You can just hang out, have a good time and enjoy life. It doesn't need to be that serious if you don't want it to be. Take your time but don't get left on the shelf.
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