A
female
age
36-40,
*nnocentgirl
writes:I've been on about 5-6 dates with this guy who I met on online dating. At the moment it seems to be going really well. He makes the most to see me in his spare time, even if he has other plans, he'll try and fit in seeing me.. He's taken me on lovely dates etc which to me seems like hes starting to get serious about me or really likes me. However, the one thing I cant seem to understand, is why he hasn't added me on Facebook yet. I did mention it to him once, and I said "You know you can add me on Facebook if you want?" and he replied with "ah okay then, well maybe you'll get a request soon"..That was about a week ago. So clearly he doesn't want to. I dont understand why, and yet I feel awkward to add him because of his delay. I dont know if this is a red flag or not?
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female
reader, boo22 +, writes (20 December 2015):
 Hi
I think this is well dodgy!
What's the big deal?..its only Facebook. It's like he dangles it like a carrott before you while you try to earn it.
He should have just added you straight away after 5 dates, always presuming you're not crazy etc :)
I suspect his fb may be littered with ex's and girls.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2015): I actually disagree with most of the responses !
I don't doubt that he likes you, because he clearly does.
But I would be seriously concerned that he has a girlfriend already!
Most people have mobile internet... Next time you are with him ask him to physically add you in front of you !
If he really likes you and has nothing to hide, he will do it straight away !
Im talking from experience here
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2015): I don't think being friends with your partner on facebook is a good idea. I wish I never added my previous boyfriend on Facebook as it brought out the worst in him.If somebody liked my photos all the time he would get jealous and start asking questions. If somebody put a comment on my status he would get all funny about that too.I myself got a bit huffy when he first added me, a really pretty girl who worked with him tagged him in a photo of herself playing video games. I got jealous, but she turned out to be a lesbian with a long term girlfriend. So I looked a bit stupid then! lol.If I ever start seeing somebody else again I would not add them on Facebook, nothing what so ever to hide it just causes unnecessary little fights over absolutely everything.Hey why didn't you just add him to begin with rather than asking him to add you? I don't quite get that part. I understand you feel a bit nervous adding him now you've mentioned it but I don't get why you just didn't do it when you were thinking about it. The world has gone mad with everybody placing such importance on Facebook, I really don't get it.
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A
female
reader, Innocentgirl +, writes (18 December 2015):
Innocentgirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand what you are all saying, and maybe he doesnt want to rush to that yet. However, he wont take it slow by asking me round his after a couple of dates... If Facebook adding is not important to him and yet he does use it, then why take the time to add someone?
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A
female
reader, Innocentgirl +, writes (17 December 2015):
Innocentgirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI uderstand your points, maybe to him its not important, or maybe he wants to take it slow. But then he doesnt hestitate to ask me round his after a couple of dates. If facebook isnt important, then why take your time to add them.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2015): Happened to me, he is hiding something
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 December 2015):
 I'm with Ciar.
Adding to Facebook or not is not important, you aren't dating an online persona, but a REAL guy. MAYBE he wants to wait a while (which to me seems like a good idea) till you two are established. Or maybe HIS personal FB is for HIM.
I've been married for almost 2 decades and guess what? I am not "facebook-friend" with my husband!! GASP! Actually I am not even on Facebook. He uses FB primarily to keep in touch with old friends, former and current co-workers and some "facebook groups" he enjoys. People on there knows he is married - he posts family pictures occasionally, but all in all - it's FACEBOOK! who cares?!
I know so many people seem think linking EVERYTHING online and in public to a partner is how you (general you) show "love" - but in reality it's not.
NOT adding you doesn't mean he cares less, hiding things or isn't sure about where it's going. IT just shows he has some common sense and is taking THAT side slow.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 December 2015):
 Keep dating him, and keep getting to know him, this should be more important than getting to know him on FB.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (17 December 2015):
 Is "..he hasn't added me on Facebook..." a condition of him liking you?????
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (17 December 2015):
 Personally, I think it's a bit early to be adding each other to Facebook. Yes, folks add new platonic friends on this soon, but when it comes to someone you're dating, the stakes are much higher.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (17 December 2015):
 Why is it important to you? You are an adult now. You should know what is important and what is not. Maybe he hasn't added you in FB because you haven't shown up in 'Second Life'. I mean, his avatar is there waiting to set up a virtual home in a virtual world and fill it with virtual stuff, and you haven't shown. Do you get my point? What you have when you are together is real. FB isn't real. It's using up your life.
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