A
female
age
30-35,
*inkladieee
writes:So I have been dating this guy for a short time - October 2015. He is wonderful, and we are completely taken with each other, the only trouble is, I live in the UK and he in the US and the distance is really hard. Not only is the distance a pain but so is the time difference and there will be periods of time that pass, like a week or so where I hear absolutely nothing from him and it really gets me down.It is making me really paranoid, not that there are any other women, but I am just so scared that he is going to do the whole 'this isn't fair on you, we should break up' act and it is ruining everything I do day to day by having these thoughts. Then when I do get to see him, I'm paranoid that I am coming across too needy and he is going to get sick of it.It is all in my head, but I do need a little more attention whilst he is away and I don't know what to do. I really don't want to drive him away with my paranoia.
View related questions:
period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bubblewrapmyheart +, writes (21 December 2015):
 LDR CAN work out! Me and my fiance used to live 3 hours apart and after 3 long years together, we finally bought a place together and got engaged! I used to feel really paranoid that he could be doing anything with any one and forget about me, or get tired of being with someone he couldn't actually spend time with. I hate to be blunt, but cam sex did amazing things for our relationship. It kept that need going. I've got friends in America, and I've spent many a late night talking to them on skype etc whenever I can. If you're constantly paranoid, he might pick up on this and it could cause friction between you. Talk to him about it without the fear he's going to leave. If it's meant to be you will work something out. Maybe a schedule when you can both get online and chat. Or leave messages for each other to pick up when you're not able to live chat. The skype dinner date between Leonard and Raj's sister on Big Bang Theory comes to mind!If you can, try and arrange some time you can spend physically together to see how being around each other all the time feels for you. This might prompt either of you to think about moving commitments. Don't lose faith, it took my fiance 3 years to want to move 3 hours away, it's a big deal but so worth the wait!Good luck!
A
female
reader, dean93  +, writes (18 December 2015):
Hello, please hang in there! Like you, I'm in an LDR (I'm in Asia and he is in Europe and we have a 7 hour time difference between us) as well and I empathise with you. Going a week without hearing from him is a little Long I feel. My partner and I text everyday to let each other know how our day went. We also arrange for weekly skyping sessions. Sending hand written letters has also helped our relationship. With all these being said, both of us have agreed on me moving over next year. I think it is important to have a Long term plan on closing up the distance (like after you complete your studies or vice versa? Whether you'll further your studies or work in America etc) Otherwise it might be difficult to work out. All the best :)
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 December 2015):
 You have both being seeing each other a very short time, and with such a distance between you both I have to ask how long have you actually spent quality time together in the same room?
If you are in a LDR then you need to talk about future plans and make sure that both of you are on the same page about what you want. But at the minute I cannot see how this relationship can last the distance when it is so new.
...............................
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (17 December 2015):
 Sorry but I don't see a future in this unless one of you moves nearer the other. How can it possibly work? If you were an established couple you could be apart for a time - maybe several years. That's because of the basis laid down. And the separation would have to be finite. There would have to be a foreseeable end to the separation.
There seems to be no plan to be together in your future. So how is this relationship going to progress? This is something you need to sort out. I have seen too many long distance relationships falter despite all the good intentions.
...............................
|
