A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,My problem is that at the moment I'm finding it hard to cope. I have been seeing this guy but I just don't think it's going to work out. I was so scared of letting someone into my heart, but he was there for me all the time, being supportive, caring, considerate for months and months. I fell hard for him And then he just stopped. It just feels like once he'd got me into bed he didn't have to try any more. Maybe I'm wrong but it feels like that. He's bad for me and I think in a partnership you should bring out the best in each other. I obviously don't do that for him either. The relationship is pretty new but I'm confused by him a lot. I can't see any way through the problems unless he reflects truthfully about himself, but, he's in complete denial. I know I need to walk away but for some reason I'm finding that terribly difficult and I don't know why. My last relationship was abusive so it makes me more upset that someone could hurt me especially when they know that. I cannot understand why I can't be strong and focus on myself, but I'm crying all the time and I'm depressed and then I hate myself for being so weak. We live in the same house so that makes things difficult. When you know someone can't really be bothered and isn't going to change for you why would you hold onto hope that they will!
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (18 December 2015):
 You have to start with small steps; easy steps. Start looking for your own place to live; something affordable. Check estate agents and the classifieds.
What is more you need to understand that bad things happen to you continually because you allow them to happen. You won't change your situation. You have to steer your own ship and make your decisions, for good or bad, about your own life. If you don't you are like a rag doll and will get treated like that.
Take a decision for yourself and see how good it feels. You will find that the universe will start working with you. Friends will help. Strangers will help. It will all work out for you once you make the decision to run your own life and not just be an add on to someone else's.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2015): I know exactly how you feel. I was in your shoes just days ago. I really can't explain why it's so difficult to let go. You think about it and you see clearly how things aren't working out... yet you don't have the strength to walk away. It's so easy to just get back together, until the same issues come up again and you ask yourself why you are still in this relationship.I think the only answer I can provide is that you are not yet ready to let go. You fully understand the issues, you fully understand he won't change, you fully understand you need to walk away... But there is still that little fire in you hoping he will change, that things will be different this time around. But you will soon realize, it won't be, it will never be... Not with you, at least. You will realize that had he wanted to work on this relationship, had he wanted to change, it'd have happened long time ago.You will come to a point where you will give up because you know there is no going forward. That is the day when you can finally move on.
...............................
|
