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Fed up of being the one to make the situation better. Any advice?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Family, Friends, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 December 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 December 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Hi, im 17 year old girl who has split from my boyfriend 8 months now, we ended it on good terms as we thought it was best.

This has not been the case, at first he was pleasant and understanding; and then he started to act cocky and made comments. He started to tell his friends things, that i had not told my best friend as i was with him a long time.

We then started to get along again, but got a bit too friendly and then he completly cut me off and started to message a girl who is in the same friendship group i am in.

We have mutual friends and we were all at a party where things got heated and arguments were had. He then cleared the air as we wanted to get on, as hating eachother would not do anything.

I then recently found out he told his friends some personal things that i thought he'd have more respect not to share.

It was my birthday yesterday and his mum said happy birthday as her and I are on good terms and have spoken since, he on the other hand ignored me and when were standing in the same group of people, did not say anything at all.

I have been considering messaging him to clear the air, but am fed up of being the one to make the situation better. Any advice?

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A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (18 December 2015):

Communication is usually good but I would avoid trying to clear the air by once again communicating with him. He will very likely relate your communication to his friends but with whatever self-serving twist he wants to put on it. Don't give him that opportunity. And I see no need to continue communicating with someone who tells his friends personal things that he knows you don't want him to share with others. Time to move on and get him out of your life. Good luck!

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (17 December 2015):

Denizen agony auntIf you are on good terms with his mum why not talk to her about it? You could ask her advice and explain what has been happening. It depends on how bad the things are that he is revealing to friends. If you can live with it just ignore it. If it's very personal then definitely talk to him, his mum or perhaps your pastoral teacher.

It has obviously hit him harder than he wanted to let on. This sort of thing is upsetting but don't let it get you down. He has just shown that he is a little boy and not a man.

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