A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently had this discussion with my BF and would like to seek everyone's opinion:We were recently at a family gathering where I met a lot of my BF's family members from out of State for the first time. He introduced this 15 year old girl to me as his cousin. Later that evening as we all sat around the living room to chit chat, I noticed this same 15 year old girl had her arms around this guy who seemed a few years older than her. She was hugging him and resting her head on his shoulders and snuggled with him and had his arms wrapped around her and even holding hand with fingers intertwined. My boyfriend later confirmed the two were cousins. I mentioned how I felt it was so wrong.. I'm very conservative and have been taught to always keep my hands to myself and never be in such close contact with another guy unless he's my BF or Husband. My boyfriend feels it's OK to be in such close contact because she is a cousin. I then asked him, if we had a daughter together, would he allow her to do the same with another male cousin and he immediately responded absolutely not! So, I let him know that this kind of behavior is not acceptable to me and I would appreciate it if he doesn't do the same. A few days later, we were at a dinner and I stepped away briefly, upon my return, I saw him and the 15 year old girl rocking back and forth against each other holding hands with fingers intertwined! I hated, totally hated that vision.. I saw how he went up to her put his fingers thru hers and started rocking back and forth with her. As soon as he saw me, he froze and dropped his hands and moved away from her. I felt so disgusted and the vision of what he did still haunts me.Am I over reacting to all this? Is it OK and normal to be this close with other female members of a family? I mean I understand if the girl is 5yrs old... But she is 15 yrs old!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 August 2016):
 If her parents appeared to be okay with it then there is no harm done, sounds like they are a close family. There is no harm in showing affection. If you are not comfortable then it is up to you if it was your child. I guess you and your boyfriend have different opinions, as he is just as close to his cousin, probably someone who he still sees as a teenager, young and innocent. Don't try and change your boyfriend to be something he is not, because he will resent you.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 August 2016):
 To me, you sound like a prude. And to you, holding hands is immoral and... I dunno, sexual? What exactly do you think holding hands mean anyway... Point is though: there is no right or wrong here. People have different ideas of what is okay behaviour, not to mention people have different boundaries. Just accept that people are different and live and let live.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 August 2016):
 I think that is for the girl's family to decide if they are OK with or not.
Just like YOU can decide for YOUR daughter what you feel it right.
Do I think it's "disgusting" because they are cousins? No, not really. Many people have a crush on a first, second, third cousin when they are young.
Would I be OK with my son/daughter to canoodle with another cousin at family parties? no, probably not. But her parents didn't seem to mind, so why do you think it's any of YOUR concern?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2016): No its not ok....it's disturbing, my mother in law for some disgusting reason think it's cute when cousins kiss. Have you heard of kissing cousins? She would make my girls (4years old) kiss their boy cousins ( 8&9 years old) on the lips while she took pictures and that freaks me out big time. I never ever want to even be in the same room with my male cousins when I grow up cos we always fight lol. Makes things worse my husband told me his mom took pictures of him kissing his first cousin when he was around 4....she was 8, this whole kissing game got bad cos this girl cousin always come looking for him when they visit so they can kiss. Basically she was practicing on my husband when he was 4 years old, they became kissing partners until they were freaking 15 years old (sick) they finally stopped cause they will go hide to kiss and my husband at that age told her what they doing is very wrong they need to stop. Who in the world want to get that close to a cousin? Seriously! That behavior need to stop before they start to sneak around like my husband. That girl is wayyyyy to big to be acting like that, or maybe they already did what my husband did.
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