A
female
age
51-59,
*icurb4me
writes:(Mod note: Titled by poster)what does my husband want from me?why cant we watch a tv program with out him texing someone? we go to dinner and his phone is in his hand the entire time, he sleeps with it underneth his pillow, he is a 48 year old reliving his child hood. it's so frustrating, he wont talk to me about what the texing is all about, occasionaly its a girl, he told me that he loves the attention that he gets from others that text him. i am at my breaking point, i do love him very much i truely beleive that he loves me, just not the way that he loves his phone. if he would just hold me as much as he holds his phone i think that things would be a little better. this is the first time i have ever chatted like this on the net, so im new to this and a little curious to see what this web site is all about, i look foward to hearing from other women on the outside, and hpoefuly get the answer im looking for. p.s, i received a text from a womans husband, telling me that my husband had an affair with is wife for over 2 years. this time he didnt lie. help.....
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010): He is cheating. Get his phone one day and look through the texts. emails and the phone numbers he is receiving calls from.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010): Pack the car, cancel the credit cards, take half the cash from the bank and text him your intent to file for a divorce.
See if he likes that attention.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010): He sounds like he is cheating when he is texting all the time and protecting his phone like that. And surprise surprise he is cheating...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 February 2010):
If your husband has had an affair for over two years, and is sat there with a phone in his hand or under his pillow, then it's time to move on. Because chances are he's texting other women, not just one. Especially if he hides the phone under his pillow. So make a decision. Do you want to be second best to this man and a phone for the rest of your life, or would you rather be brave and step back out there and find a good guy who will love you.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (28 February 2010):
 Your Husband wants you to accept that he is a Philanderer and just live with it while he risks your health and life for his own pleasure.
HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU
HE HAS AND IS CHEATING ON YOU
Why are you even with this man if he is doing this right in your presence?
Sadly if you will not show him any consequences for his actions he will continue to treat you like a doormat. And over time that is what you have become. Sorry to be harsh(as many here don't like something they need to hear) but I think you need to hear this
I am afraid that you need to meet with this other woman's husband so you can discover for yourself the truth. Please get tested for STD's(Cheaters are LIARS) so you must assume by his cavalier behavior any sexual contact between the two was unprotected. Even if he tells you it was protected, are you really going to take a cheater's word for anything?
I also suggest that you get into some IC as soon as possible. You have lost your feeling of self worth because your husband is a cretin.
You need to understand that he makes the conscious decision to cheat and you did nothing to make him do this. It is not your fault. But you also must understand that the only person you can control is yourself and if you stay in this situation you will have only yourself to blame.
You seem to be in a state of denial about this which is understandable for we want to believe something...ANYTHING that will tell us that this cant be happening as opposed to facing the truth, so you are not alone as this is usually the first reaction of someone who does not want to face it.
And you also need to see an attorney and see what your options are.
The main thing is this about cheaters:
Cheaters will never begin to change unless they fear LOSING something. He obviously does not have any fear of losing you, hence sleeping with his phone.
Good Luck, and get the hell away from him or you will be sorry
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010): Hi there, sorry to hear about your husband. It's not the phone that he loves, it's the women on the other end. If he is behaving in this manner in front of you, I guarantee he is doing much worse behind your back. The further evidence from another woman's husband would confirm this in my mind. As someone who divorced her husband for similar behaviour, I can highly recommend leaving and finding someone whose values are closer to your own, ie. not cheating on you. People don't change all that much - if he's already doing this sort of thing then I would leave. In the end you need to decide if you can live with this person, or whether you would be happier taking another path. I hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (28 February 2010):
 Get your life in order, make sure you organise some money to live with, over the next few months remove those things that are special to you from the house, one at a time
and then, when you have prepared for your getaway, take that phone, put it under the wheel of your car and run over the bloody thing, squeal the tires, blow dust in his face and leave.
He has no respect for you or your marriage. Why stay there?
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