A
male
age
36-40,
*a1ent
writes:Ok at the start of my relationship my girlfriend cheated on me 6 months into the relationship. We broke up for about 4 months. Well we got back together on some rather strict rules, since I did not know if I could trust her she was to share all her passcodes with me, and let me view her cell phone any time. She agreed and things were going well, eventually I moved in with her. That's when I realized a new problem. She had a bad issue with cursing and even hitting me when she got upset. (she only hit me once but once is enough.) Now when I say she cursed a lot I mean she is calling me every name in the book. I do not disrespect her in such a manor. She is talking to me like a piece of trash. I try to tell her to calm down in arguments but she just cant control herself.Also while this has been going on 2 incidents occurred. I found out she was talking to an ex-boyfriend on myspace. She said they were just friends but this ex has a reputation for cheating with others in a relationship. She said fine she understands and he was not worth losing me.Well 4 months later she creates another myspace account due to her old one being hacked. I see this guy is back the ex-boyfriend! I bring it to her attention, I am very upset, the question I ask is " why is he back! we discussed this !" She tells me she forgot about the discussion and cries and says it will not happen again. So I forgive her.Now this is current 4 weeks ago she began seeing a relationship/anger therapist due to me threatening to leave. So she wanted to get professional help with her anger. To show her dedication to change for me and to make this relationship work.Well I recently discover she has a facebook and the ex-boyfriend is on there.( Now she told me about the facebook so it wasn't like it was hidden from me)I confront her and she continues to preach. " how he is a friend and how he means nothing and if I want him to go he is gone. " I cant understand why he is even back in the picture I told her twice this guy cannot be in our life. She says why would I tell you about my face book if I didn't think this guy would be ok with you.I dont know if this is some type of mind game or what. Why would she tell me about the face book knowing how I feel about this guy?So She wants me to come to see the therapist with her to help me deal with this current betrayal. I just dont see how I can trust her. The therapist spoke to my girlfriend on the phone and actually said i was over reacting. I should be hurt but I should not want to end my relationship over this ex continuing to pop up.Am I over reacting ? Should I end this relationship ? Should I see what the therapist has to say ? I mean yea she was faithful for two years. But so have I and I don't continue to talk with someone which is trying to get in my pants. Nor do I call her out her name like she does me.help please. I am 25 yrs old she is 22 yrs old we have been together for about two and a half years.
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broke up, cheated on me, facebook, got back together, moved in, myspace Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 February 2010):
Money doesn't prove a thing. She could give it to you all. but she would still treat you badly, and she might still cheat. You have given her the chances. Let her go.
A
male
reader, ta1ent +, writes (22 February 2010):
ta1ent is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust a recent update she has been making a lot of promises telling me how she never thought this would end are relationship. She is begging for one more chance. Last night she actually told me that she wants to give me a court settlement she is receiving for a car accident and she says I can do with it as I please. She said the money is the only thing she can think of to give me to show me how sorry she is. I feel guilty and am wondering, if she is genuine when she tells me it was a mistake. An why give me her settlement ? I am confused and wondering if I should at least go to the therapist now ?
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (22 February 2010):
 erk! I would be setting up secret accounts too if I had to share passwords and accounts.
This relationship is toxic for both of you, I doubt you will ever trust her, and that will simply drive her to keep things hidden from you even more.
Call it a day and move on
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 February 2010):
Leave her immediately. This has to end. She cheated. She then came back. Now she swears at you and hits you. She has set up not one, but TWO myspace accounts and has been in contact with her ex. Now there is a facebook account. She promised he would be gone. Three times he has come back and he has a reputation. She broke her promise 3 times. You don't know that she's been faithful at all with her lies. You can do much better, and to stay with this girl is truly a waste of your time and love. There are better girls out there.
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