A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everybody,I had a lump followed by pain in my breast so I asked my husband to take me to the doctors. We went and then that doctor scheduled me for an ultrasound which was three weeks after that. Come the morning of that appointment my husband did not want to get out of bed because he was too tired (I do not have my drivers license yet and he agreed to take me.) But later that morning about an hour after my appointment was due. His mom come in and asked to take her to the doctors because she poked herself in the eye when she was drunk. I felt hurt about that because this was important to me. So later that day I rescheduled for another appointment which was 2 weeks after the first one. So I asked my husband to ask if he could drive me and tell everyone we had stuff to do. So the night before his dad says he needs a ride out of town to take care of some business. His dad could have done it all year but instead chose the last day that it was okay to do it.I feel hurt and in second place in my husbands eyes. His parents come first to him, they are not old or unable to do stuff on their own but instead they drink too much and all of the responsibilities fall on him.Is it okay that I feel hurt by my husband not coming with me?. And also hurt that he wouldn't wake up for me but woke up for his parents. I wanted his support with this and he made it clear he was going to come. But it looks like he is not coming.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 February 2015):
 Usually lumps that hurt are not cancer so the first thing to do is relax on that front.
I agree with Aunty Bim-Bim you are very young and I assume your hubby is too.
I would a. get my license b. get my ducks in a row and c. start figuring out what you are going to do when you leave him because trust me at your age you are going to leave him once he continues to stop making you a priority.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2015): I really hope everything is okay! Putting it off for so long must be quite unsettling!
If your husband is as young as you are (between 18-21); maybe he is just new at being a husband. If he's that young, he has a considerable amount of maturing left to do, as well.
Drunks or not, that doesn't make him not love and want do things for his parents. There will be times when your parents will come first in your eyes. That is, if you're on good terms with them. If you're not so close to your own parents; it might be hard to understand, be that the case.
I think it was pretty stupid of him not to realize the major concern and fear you would have about a painful lump in your breast! He doesn't seem to comprehend how frightening that is for a woman...anybody! You should have called a cab and kept your appointment!
Sit your husband down and make sure you have his undivided attention. Let him know that you are his wife and expect that he treat you with the respect and concern that you deserve. LET THE DIPSTICK KNOW HOW SCARED YOU ARE!!!
Make sure he's looking you directly in the eyes, and tell him; you will not stay with him, if you have to tell him how to set priorities in your marriage. On that note, leave the room and say not another word about it. Allow time for it to sink-in. Next time he puts you last, give him an ultimatum; and mean it. Idle threats make no lasting impressions. Do whatever you say you'll do.
I'm sorry, my dear. You may have married a boy, and not a man. You're a very young bride, if he is as young; you both have a lot of growing-up to do together.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (20 February 2015):
 Your husband may not be mature enough for marriage, he probably likes the rumpy pumpy on tap and having a nice little wifey to take care of chores around the house but apart from that it seems he doesn't care all that much.
Your health is important, lumps in breasts are important and need to be dealt with, and a woman needs all the support she can get when dealing with lumps in places they should not be.
Seriously, get your drivers licence, get yourself a job and don't have any babies until your husband grows up or until you know you are able to be totally responsible for them, financially and emotionally because I doubt very much your husband will be capable without some serious growing up.
Actually, save yourself a few years of misery and get your licence, get a job and then get rid of him, he doesn't care about you and that probably wont change.
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