A
male
age
36-40,
*olidus
writes:I broke up with my ex about a month ago, we were together almost a year though a LOT of ups and downs. She was frequently insecure and jealous and would always accuse me of trying to sleep with other women. We're talking about friends 10 years younger to me who are like a little sister completely in appropriate and disgusting. Through everything, her crazy demands and expectations I stayed with her because I really truly loved her and saw a future with her. two months towards the end of our relationship we broke up after I didn't call her for a week. I noticed she'd find excuses to pic fights (usually about other women I happen to know or take a picture with. Friends I've known for years) Before this she had stopped having sex and she would be increasingly mean to me, always bringing up other women. Anyway, she called me all upset saying "Since you don't call or talk to me anymore I've decided that we shouldn't talk at all anymore" before this she stopped. I gave her back all her stuff at my house, but she's ignoring all my phone calls. I miss her and love her dearly, but I seriously just want my garage door opener back so I can park in my apartment. I thought we were cool after I left a vday gift at her house and we talked for 2 hours on the phone. after that it was like a light switch and she's been radio silent. Why call being so nice to me and then turn into a bitch? Why won't she give it back to me? Is this some sort of petty revenge? Is she holding on to the last thing of mine that she had? Why won't she respond to my texts?
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broke up, insecure, jealous, my ex, revenge, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2015): Don't go soft. You've got to be strong. Returning the clicker was the right thing to do, and she wants to give you the closure you need. Take it as only that.
Dude, you're such a hopeless romantic!
A
male
reader, Solidus +, writes (19 March 2015):
Solidus is verified as being by the original poster of the question Saw my ex last night. She called me asking if she could stop by then finally brought me my clicker. We hugged. I gave her a goodbye bottle of wine. And that was that. Hugging her kinda punched my heart. But it's over
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (9 March 2015):
 I just bought a new remote for my garage door, got it online for just under 40 dollars.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 March 2015):
 I have a butter dish in my house that came with my current husband. He likes it. IT was his ex girlfriend's butter dish and when they broke up he kept it and he would not give it back to her.
WHY? because he liked it. plain and simple (and he is a jerk cause that's wrong and he could have gone out and gotten a new one just like it... it's not magical or anything)
I like the idea of having the codes changed and getting a new one and just moving on...
WHY people do things should not matter to us.... we need to learn to keep taking care of ourselves only.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 March 2015):
 OP, you were lovely to her BEFORE, and in return she was unkind to you BEFORE ( picking fights over nothings, having crazy demands and expectations, accusing you of inappropriate and disgusting behaviours .... ) and you wait till NOW for bring surprised that she can be unkind ??!!
That's who she is - accept it and move on.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 March 2015):
 She probably put the darn thing in her pillow case, because it has a bit of residue from your after-shave, smells like you, and she can't resist!!!!!
Try getting a new garage door opener... change the code, so that the one that she kept won't work... and GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!!
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, Solidus +, writes (8 March 2015):
Solidus is verified as being by the original poster of the questionA valentines day gift was not some sort of veiled attempt by me to win her back but merely a gesture of appreciation for the time we spent together. Throughout our courtship I've always made it a priority to treat her with respect and kindness and at the very least considered us friends. and as adults who at one point contemplated marriage I thought we could be mature enough to return our effects to one another without incident. I'm just having a hard comprehending how someone can willfully go out of their way to be unkind to someone who is nothing but lovely to them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2015): Why don't you get your opener signal changed; and just replace the opener?
Why would you give a woman you're calling a "bitch" a v-day present? Sweet-talking her and giving her presents only made things worse. She saw through your transparent attempt to get back the garage-door remote.
Stop contacting her about it. You're pacifying your own inability to let-go by making a silly device a bone of contention. She's smarter than you, and beating you at your own childish-game. You're too weak to move-on and leave her alone; and you are subconsciously finding excuses to stay in-touch with her.
Seriously?!! All this over a garage-door remote? Get a new one.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (8 March 2015):
 sadly she has been manipulating you.
You mention that she could be nice.
But clearly she is also very prone to jealousy.
Jealousy is not love.
She possibly said and did all the right things at the start - the things she surmised that you might want to hear.
But then the green jealousy monster emerged.
She could not keep up the act of appearing to be who she is not.
Things got worse and then her vindictive cruel streak took over.
The latter is who she is capable of becoming in the future.
You really need to stop putting her on a pedesstal. Who she really is, is a petty, unkind, manipulative young woman with (possibly) abusive tendencies.
Chalk her up as one to avoid in the future.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (8 March 2015):
Wow, she is a nasty petty piece of work. Who would want anyone so nasty?
She does not care about your garage opener.
She does not care about you.
She just wants you to suffer.
Yes she is likely to make use of these nasty tactics with another guy. That 's just how she'll be is. When she feels entitled to do so she finds another nice guy who could not even imagine being as manipulative as she is.
Your garage door needs a new opener, with a security code. Attend to your garage door ASAP.
Change your locks. Change any contact point that allows her to EVER try to make contact.
She has NO integrity and she is getting some pleasure by making you suffer.
Even if she ever comes back pleading with you to take her back do not listen to her. Just walk away, turn your back on her. Adios. Farewell - without a backward glance to her.
You were lucky this time. By her own actions you have been alerted to who you should NOT date, namely your ex. She is someone you should never date again.
Even if you did take her back she would do things like this again. Only worse than this time. She is a girl to avoid.
Hope you find someone much nicer, next time.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (8 March 2015):
Why do you care why ?, if all you want is being able to open your garage door.
Maybe she is petty. Maybe she keeps it as a romantic souvenir. Maybe she lost it and can't give it back. Does it really matter ?.
Go get yourself a NEW opener ( with a code, as another poster suggests ) and MOVE ON. Asking why often just keeps you stuck in the past.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 March 2015):
 Block her number, block her on social networking sites and get a new garage door opener, she is being petty, and vindictive and looking for a response.
Don't give her one, don't give her the satisfaction of knowing she has got to you, simply get a new garage door opener, and if she DOES return this one once she knows you are not bothered, mount it on a post spray paint it all some horrid bright colour and use it for garden art.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 March 2015):
 Yes, it's petty revenge.
She feels if she KEEPS the garage door opener YOU have a reason to keep in touch, which means she will BE on your mind.
She is mind-frelling you. It's about control for her.
Get a NEW opener, if you live in a rental, tell them you LOST your opener, pay the fine and get a new one. If you OWN your apartment, go to LOWE's or where ever and GET a new one. Preferable one with a code, so she can't get into your garage and trash stuff.
She sounds a tad vindictive.
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