A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im unsure if this is the right place to ask for this type of advice, but there is such a variety of people on here that im hoping someone can advise me. Basically whilst Ive been off on maternity leave, Ive been told that one of my work collegues has been diagnosed with cancer and that she hasnt been given a very good chance. Because Im away Im a bit out of the loop, also my baby hasnt arrived yet and aparently my work colleagues were anxious about telling me, so thats all I know. I love this lady very much and have worked with her for 7 years. My heart is completely breaking for her, she's only 47. Ive texted her a week ago saying that I am thinking of her and send all of my love, and best wishes and if she is up for a visit I will be there in a heartbeat.Now obviously she must be going through hell so understandably I havent recieved a reply. Im too afraid to ring or just turn up because I dont want her to feel pressured into recieving visitors, but on the other hand I also dont want her to think that I dont care. Im afraid of getting in the way or doing the wrong thing, Please can somebody with some more experience of this dreadful disease offer some advice. I genuinly dont know what to do.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (5 March 2015):
 The best thing to do is to phone, if somebody else answers the phone and she is unable to talk, ask them to pass on a message.
If she is able to talk with you, just tell her you don't want to tire her out, but that you just wanted to let her know you love her and are thinking of her. If she seems inclined towards a conversation, then have one. If it seems she is tiring tell her you can hear she is tiring and will call her back in a week or so.
You will not be getting in the way, or doing the wrong thing. The worst thing that can be done when somebody is suffering is to not do anything through a fear of doing the wrong thing, or not knowing what to say. Your call will be appreciated.
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