A
female
age
30-35,
*mrsrocha
writes:So my sister-in-law is 6 months pregnant and just found out that the guy who got her pregnant doesn't want to be with her anymore. I want to give her advice but all I can manage is to tell her that he's not worth her time of he's so quick to give up on her already. I've never had my heart broken so it's he'd for me to feel how she feels. I do have kids but I'm married so I've never been in her situation. I know she must feel alone and sad but I don't know how to help her feel better. I don't think talki NH about it is going to help I think it will only bother her more. I really want to tell that guy he's a jerk like haven't you heard the saying, "if you wouldn't make her a wife, then don't make her a mother"! I'm one to tell people my opinion but I know it's not my business. My Main concern is her and her happiness. Any advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 March 2015):
 Be a good, and attentive Sister-in-law for her as she faces HER travails in the future. YOU can't "solve" her problems... but you can lend her moral support. THAT is your role in this matter...
Good luck to both you and your S-i-L....
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (16 March 2015):
 As with any advice, keep it simple and brief and most importantly the kind of advice you wouldn't be offended by if you were in their place. Good Luckand be supportive and give the gift of love.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2015): Try to keep her positive and happy and getting excited about her new baby and the future.
It's easier to stay positive if you are keeping busy with fun things etc and not wallowing in the past
I would try to keep off the subject of the father where possible. Until she is in a better frame of mind to talk about it and sort out the practicalities etc
It wouldn't encourage getting into long conversations about what a shit the guy is.(Even though it might be true)
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (16 March 2015):
 Oops, accidentally posted before finishing, be there for her, go to antenatal appointments with her if you can.
Don't say anything negative about the father to her at this stage, he may simply have baulked at the future of being a parent, and could come back once he thinks about things, if that happens she will still need to be supported by family while she and he sort things out.
Good luck with it all, just hang in there with her, and things should settle one way or another once the baby is born and she knows what she needs to do.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (16 March 2015):
Your poor sister must be going through some terrible times, being pregnant and all that entails and also having to deal with the father deciding it was all too hard for him.
If you can step up that would be fantastic.
Tell her you know she is going to be a fantastic mother. Tell her you can't wait to meet your new nephew or niece.
Get excited, take her out to start looking at baby clothes.
Get her thinking about the practicalities, where and how is she going to support herself and the baby.
When she starts to pick up a bit, get her to start making plans for a DNA test and to do whatever is necessary to make sure the father steps up to his financial responsibilities.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2015):
You seem very settled and grounded and that on its own can give comfort to your sister in law . Have a girls lunch weekly doesn't have to be a bought out one, even just a lunch at your house where you two can whinge about everything and everyone tell her lol in a light hearted way. Let her know you support her no matter what .. that some men are cruel and unkind ( as can females ) and in the long run she was best finding out now rather than later .
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