A
female
age
30-35,
*layed 09
writes:i know its a girl thing to have self esteem issues, but i alway feel really inscure about my weight.I know im not huge but im not small either Im trying to change but i have two jobs and its hard. I just dont know how anyone could be attracted to a bigger girl, how could i gain more confidence and be comfterable with my curves.
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female
reader, honeystix +, writes (17 October 2010):
all the answers to this ? Have been very nice and encoraging. You have to learn to accept the curves hun. Just try to alter what you eat a little. Drink lots of water lemon water helps. And just walking 30 mins a day helps. Strut your stuff at hm in heels... Tones the legs. To look more appealing there are spanx and other items.. Depending on ur size idk go to torrid...and let them hook you up.. And msg me if u want a fitness buddy.
A
female
reader, AuntieSnap  +, writes (17 October 2010):
Hi Sweetheart,
Be proud of your curves! You are as God made you. You would be surprised at the high % of guys that are attracted to larger ladies. I moan about my weight but my health is spot on and I can still haul my carcass up mountains as hill walking is my hobby, but so long as you are healthy, dont see it as a problem.
The media has a lot to answer to promoting size zero as normal and anything over this is considered "fat". They encourage girls from a young age that being skinny is attractive and acceptable. Well its not! Vulgar 4th rate footballers wives parading around like skeletons with a skin graft and looking as if they are about to expire at any time are reveered and fawned on by the media at every turn and this puts young girls under tremendous pressure to aspire to this impossible spectacle. This is not healthy, it is dangerous, stupid and in some cases leads youngsters into eating disorders.
Big does not neccessarily equate bad health. My heart, B/P & cholesterol are all spot on for my age and I am BIG. I canoe, hillwalk, swim, enjoy dancing and am supple enough to still be able to kick my height. I eat healthily (most of the time, Saturday night is take out and wine time)and I am a size 18/20 & PERFECTLY HAPPY with it as is my husband who doesnt like the the thought of the crunch of bones when he gets a cuddle from me. I put up with snidey comments, ususally from skinny women who seem to think they are so much better than me because they are they way they are. Water of a ducks back darling. Well, I don't see very happy people, I see desperation and a need to fit in with all the other lemmings. I am totally comfortable with who I am so comments dont bother me at all. My best friend is very tall and naturally skinny and would LOVE to put on a bit more weight but can't. I dont think any of us are ever really satisfied with what we have.
Make a list of all the positive issues of being larger. ie,
Learn to love your curves, look at all the sexy underwear that we can fill so much better than skinny women.
Men find bigger ladies much more approachable, that sort of thing.
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A
male
reader, owenlucky13 +, writes (17 October 2010):
 hi my other half has the same problem even though she knows i love her to bits. and the advice i give her is aslong as you are happy thats all that matters. you will find that there are guys out there who are not bothered by it and find you beautiful for who you are. so keep your head held high and keep on smiling coz im sure you will find the right person for you
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (17 October 2010):
 Whenever you have free time, run, go to aerobics, physical exercise in the house, try a little diet, remove unhealthy food, drink liquids even if you're not thirsty. I doubt that you can't find a few minutes to do some sport between the 2 jobs. All you need is some motivation.
I used to be like you, I had stuck in my mind that I'm so busy with professional stuff (school + work) to waste my time on sports. I also used to pity myself that I come home late and tired and thus I'm not in the mood for physical exercise what-so-ever. And all I thought was : " Oh well, who truly likes me, likes me the way I am". But that's not the greatest mentality, you actually give yourself an illusion. I wasn't comfortable in my own skin, literally and figuratively speaking, so once and for all I changed my life-style. And so should you.
I'm not saying you're fat, I don't know you, but you're probably hot (I, as a woman, like to see curvy women), all I'm saying is that in order to feel comfortable about yourself, you don't have to depend on others who 'accidentally' like you the way you are, you are not allowed to settle for less when it comes to love. Don't depend on others and don't expect them to like your flaws. As long as YOU can make changes (in your physical appearance for instance), YOU are the main character here, not your partner or some other guy who you expect to like you "just the way you are". YOU are responsible to make things right FOR YOU, not other people, no matter how close they are to you.
The rest of the flaws, things that cannot be changed, are part of you and you have to accept that no one is perfect. So in that case my suggestion is that you should focus on your good sides and improve them. Makes sense, isn't it? :)
Best wishes!
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