A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I would like to know if anyone in here has experienced similar to what I’m about to post. I’m completely flummoxed how everyone in my family seems to think this is ok…. My niece (my brothers daughter) is almost 6 years old and as she is the only child and grandchild (on both sides) and has always been spoilt by everyone. Unfortunately she has very poor behavior- I hate to use the word but “brat” is the only way to describe her.She decides everything- what she wears, where they go on days out, what she eats, even which route her parents drive when the take her to nursery/school!!If she doesn’t get her way she throws a tantrum and surprise surprise then gets what she wants! She is also rude telling people to “shut up” and “get lost” or going through your bag and taking things out. The list goes on…Whenever we go out as a family - she decides when she’s had enough and wants to go home- we were celebrating my dads birthday at a restaurant a few months back and we had just finished our starters and she started whining she wanted to leave (she had bought plenty of toys to keep occupied) but her parents gave in and left! This isn’t the first time and yet no one in my family bats an eye lid and they all fuss her. My brother, myself and my cousins never behaved this way - if any of us acted up we would be disciplined in front of everyone. We were all raised quite strictly but yet when my niece behaves badly they all seem to praise her! Last year a family member got married and me and my niece were bridesmaids. We had rehearsed the church entrance lots of times with no issues, on the day my niece throws a tantrum as she doesn’t want to walk in front of the bride with the other flower girls and page boys but instead she wants to walk after the bride on her own!! We had to delay the ceremony for 10 minutes whilst her mum and dad bribed her with things and even then she walked down the aisle crying!Everyone thought it was “cute and sweet”- but in my opinion it really wasn’t! What has really upset me is that earlier this week I went over to my brothers house to drop something off for him. Whilst I was there his wife made me a drink and i’d only been there 10 minutes when my niece comes over to tell me it’s time to leave! I thought she was joking so I laughed but then she got my jacket and insisted I left. I looked at my brother and his wife who turned to my niece and said “if you want Aunty to leave then you ask her nicely and she will go” - I was stumped - I asked if they were being serious and their reply “yes, if you don’t mind”It wasn’t late - it was 4pm and they didn’t have anywhere to go and already ate their tea (i actually asked these questions as it would have been understandable otherwise) I just can’t believe that they allowed her to throw me out?! I mentioned this to my mum and she doesn’t think there is any wrong with this, my dad also agrees. I can’t talk to my brother as it will offend him. My friends have young children and none of them have ever behaved in this way - when I tell them about my niece they are horrified and agree with me this isn’t normal. So it’s clearly just my family who think it’s acceptable. I know it’s none of my business how she is raised but I can only see this getting worse. I’m just so upset as I spent so much time with her when she was a baby - I babysat her nearly every week and took her out and she was the sweetest thing but ever since she was around 2 years old her attitude changed - I love her don’t get me wrong, she’s my niece but I don’t like the person she is becoming.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2023): Oh...I have the same problem. I just refuse to be around her. It's bad I know but I refuse to be made unhappy by a brat so O just dodge her. Any babysitting requests, i'm busy. Any meals etc, I dodge.
If people want to pamper her then they can, I won't pander to it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2023): This sounds like the way my younger sister was raised, with me be the only person around her who seemed to think it was wrong.I haven't spoken to her in 16 or so years now - she's become a multimillionaires that's highly manipulative and skilled in getting exactly what she wants, and in my opinion is a compulsive liar whom I think also suffers from narcissistic personality disorder. She is, quite literally, too dangerously manipulative for me to get involved. If you think your niece manipulating people to get you to leave their home for no reason other than she wants to is odd, and stranger still that it's indulged in by adults, then I'd say start taking steps to back off now because you really will just get hurt.Sometimes certain members of family's are indulged from birth, by everyone around them - and there's very little you can do. I doubt anyone will see your point of view as valid. Loving a child, or even an adult, and having a healthy relationship with them are two very separate things - I still love my sister, but there's not a hope in hell of us ever having a relationship that functions, due to how she was indulged as a child.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2023): I would if I were you, only call your brother and don't visit . I would be so appalled if my 6 year old turfed any member of my family out or even asked that down right rude . Manners cost nothing . I would be so embarrassed. Apparently your brother feel differently
Though if I were you I certainly wouldn't say anything . You know the saying shoot the messenger . I just would let them get on with their life and watch with popcorn how this drama will play out .
Take it on the chin and just keep going with your life
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2023): Yes, I would not interfere with the way your brother and sister in law have decided to raise her. If it works for them and they are happy about it ..it's probably just a phase which she will grow out of, then again if she does not and actually becomes an obnoxious ,entitled person , a mini-Karen so to speak - too bad for her patents, they will have to deal with the consequences of their parenting mistakes , but it will still not be any skin off your nose. You can always curb to the max your interaction with this girl , and when you cannot, like at family events and celebrations - well, unluckily you are the only one to have a problem with her behaviour, everybody else is fine with it - so, right or wrong that it may be, majority rules, therefore try to just grin and bear as graciously as you can.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2023): She does sound like she needs discipline & that her parents are way to soft on her. I don’t think how she behaves is acceptable- I have 3 grown up children & 2 grandchildren & none of them behave like this - I disciplined mine & they discipline theirs. Kids will have their moments but if they let it continue it will worsen. My ex colleagues son was the same - she let him run riot & used to laugh when he acted up & give him sweets to bribe him- she assumed he’d grow out of it - he never did, he’s now in his mid twenties & always in trouble with the police.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (28 May 2023):
 You're right.... It's none of your business how she's raised and as much as you want, you can't do anything about it. Her parents decide how to deal with her and you have no say in the matter. You can maybe bring this up with your brother but I honestly feel you're overreacting and reading too much into the actions of a 6 year old. Children these days are pretty pampered and most people have just one over-indulged kid. Hopefully she'll grow out of it.
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