A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have being friends with a guy for the past 4 years. He’s 26 and I’m 31. We originally worked together as flight attendants and on our first trip, we just hit it off. It was like we’d known each other for years. We messaged a lot, have good banter, same sense of humour and always have each other’s backs. We met up a couple of years ago. We went out for food and drinks and ended up sleeping together. Things became a bit awkward between us but we never mentioned it and carried on messaging. A year later we net up again and the same thing happened. This time no awkwardness we just carried on messaging. We message like friends and can go for weeks not messaging and pick up where we left off. I haven’t seen him in over a year and he wanted to meet up at the end of the month. Which we have arranged. We get on so well but does he see us as friends like I do or am I overthinking it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (15 June 2023):
 I don't think he sees you as anything. You're not a friend because there's no friendship as such. You casually text and them go a long time without any communication, but if he cared for friendship, he would have made the extra effort, which he hasn't.
He doesn't see you as a potential girlfriend or wife either or he would have pursued you.
You're someone he talks to when he's bored or has nothing better to do and you're a convenient booty call, because you have no expectations from him and don't demand/want anything from him. Which is perfect for him.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 June 2023):
 I think he sees you as a friend he occasionally has sex with.
But that is just MY guess.
I think if he saw you as more, he would have brought it up a long time ago.
If you are not OK with having casual sex with him, then keep up the talking the having dinners every now and then but NO sex.
I will say this, If you are looking to find someone to settle down with, you are wasting your time with this guy. And if you start dating someone seriously, do you plan on keeping being "friends" with this one? Because I don't see many guys being OK with that.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (13 June 2023):
 Its hard to say how he see's it to be honest, I would guess he is thinking on the same lines as you are which is good friends that meet up from time to time with the occasional benefit thrown into the mix.
I feel if one of you were keener than the other there would not be so huge gaps in between the times you see each other. Normally if one was keener there would be an element of neediness, pushing more often to see you. So as its all quite laid back i would not overthink it and just go with the flow.
If things to go the other way and things change you know you always have the option of just walking away, simple.
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