A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey there,I've got a bit of a situation on my hands that I could use some advice on. There's this amazing girl I've had a massive crush on, and she's a customer at the comic shop where I work. I've always liked her, but since she's a customer, I never acted on my feelings.She disappeared for a while, but when she finally came back, she told me she called and said she had been in an accident and apologized for not visiting sooner. I was really glad to see her, and after a while, she got a ride up to the shop. That day, I gave her my number and told her she could call or text if she needed anything.The thing is, I didn't hear back from her after that. However, when I went to work recently, I found a hand-written note from her. She said she was sorry for missing me the last couple of times she came by and mentioned that she would try to reach me later.I took the initiative to get her number and text her and express my gratitude for her note. I also asked her how her recovery was going. But here's the tricky part – she didn't respond back to my message. I'm starting to wonder if I did something wrong or if there's something else going on.I texted her one last time to let her know my schedule in case she wanted to come visit.I'm a bit puzzled about what to do next. Did I maybe misread the situation? Did I do something wrong? Any advice or insights you can offer would be greatly appreciatedThanks a bunch!
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (28 August 2023):
 You didn't do anything wrong... You sound quite nice, in fact! Here's my 2 cents... She is not (yet) interested in you in the way that you are interested in her. I have a feeling that she doesn't really give you that much of a thought, to be honest (sorry). She either doesn't realise the extent of your feelings for her or she does and doesn't want to act on it.
Either way, don't try to reach out to her any more. See what she does and take it from there. And as a wise man once said, there are more fish in the sea.
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (27 August 2023):
 I don't think that you did anything wrong here, and there could a a number of reasons for her elusiveness.
She could be into you and is to shy to let you know.
She could just be one of these people that like to play games, build someones hopes up then ghost them for ages.
She might already be in a relationship and the signals have been misread.
Like Honeypie said, i do thnk if she was interested she would have made more of an effort.
My advice would be to not go chasing her, i would send her one more text maybe and if she does not reply to this one then call it a day and move on. Otherwise i feel you are going to be hanging onto a situation wondering what is going on and driving yourself up the wall.
One more text then if no response then move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 August 2023):
 Either she is painfully shy, playing games or she isn't as interested as you first thought.
I will say this though,
Why would she call to let you know she had been in an accident? She was a customer?! I mean I wouldn't call any of the places I frequent and shop at if I'm sick. It's a bit odd. UNLESS there is someone in THAT store I would want to not worry about me.
So I can see why you thought she was interested.
If I were you I'd pull back, no more contacting her.
Let her make the next move.
Also, could it be that it's another employee she wants to really talk to, not you? (sorry)
I don't think you did anything wrong.
But she seems to be giving a lot of mixed signals here and I'd take that as a "red flag" and step away.
I think IF she was really interested she would have made an effort to text/call/talk to you more.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2023): Do nothing.
She knows you like her. She has your phone number. She didn't contact you (levaing a note and then NOT trying to reach you later wen you texted her, come on!).
She's not into you. She's maybe even stringing you along. She obviously knows that you like her, as I said. So, now, just go about your business and leave her be. And be very careful if she comes back looking for more attention.
She never gave you her number. And that's the only thing I don't like in your story:
"I took the initiative to get her number and text her and express my gratitude for her note".
Expressing gratitude for a note? Come on, she knew that you liked her.
Getting a phone number without her consent? Not a great idea. You showed her that you are REALLY attracted to her and she knew that she could string you along.
Wen somebody likes you, you don't have to DO anything special. Tat person will call you back and give you an opportunity to meet outside work/school... when somebody doesn't liek you but acts as she does, it usually means that they are looking for attention.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2023): Not sure why you are puzzled. Either she is very busy, or she changes her mind back and forth, or she has a husband or boyfriend already. But she sounds very keen on you. I would wait to hear from her rather than keep chasing after you, just to make sure that she really is keen and not playing a game with your feelings.
If you do hear from her and it goes well remember how it has been so far. Don't be surprised it continues in the same way, where you hear something and then nothing for ages etc. This is how she is or her situation is and you have to accept it or walk away from it. Is she worth it?
I think you are keen enough that she is worth it but you have to accept this negative aspect of it. Don't think that it will improve or change just because you would like it to. At the moment you owe her nothing and she owes you nothing. You could just leave it and wait till she comes back to the shop as a normal customer, but if that happens I think she will be intent on starting to get you interested again.
If you can give good advice on relationships/ love and want to earn good money doing it come to askagonyauntsadviceonline.com and start soon. A great forum and the only agony aunt directory in the World. You can soon have a lot of clients regularly consulting you for your paid advice.
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