A
female
age
30-35,
*endra0589
writes:I like this guy a lot. We had sex about a week ago which was my first time and now he's ignoring me. When I call he doesn't answer when I text he doesn't text back. If he does he says he's working. I really don't know since he use to do it before he had sex. I don't know what to do I really like him and I want to be with him especially since he was my first. He's having problems with his baby mother because she won't let him communicate with his kids and they stay in two different states. I don't know if that contributes to this or not. It's like everything he told me before we had sex is not happening. He said he wanted to be with me but he doesn't act like it. I have not called or texted in two days neither has he. Do you think he lost interest? Or should I give it time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): I've been in the same situation in the past. He used you hun, and he's a scumbag for doing so. Just take this as a lesson learned. I know you feel some kind of connection with him as he was your first and all but to him you're just a piece of ass. Sorry, but i see this all too often and guys like this are scum and he will get what's coming to him one day. Just think yourself lucky that you're rid of him now before it carried on any longer. Next time you like a guy DO NOT sleep with him, get to know him first and if he's sticks around you'll know he's interested in YOU not just your body. Good luck.
A
female
reader, HappyPage +, writes (30 September 2009):
As a person who can't quite seem to wrap my head completely around the fact that men DO INDEED DO THIS ON A REGULAR BASIS (and I have to admit, I'm MUCH older than you and SHOULD know better), but here's the shit reality.
Once you sleep with him, DON'T PLAN ON SEEING HIM FOR A VERY LONG TIME; IF EVER. Oh, and don't worry; he'll tell all his friends the raunchiest things about you; so PRETEND YOU'RE STILL A VIRGIN AND START IGNORING his ass, girlfriend! What're you gonna do, grovel? Hell no; ignore his ass and see what happens. PRETEND. FAKE IT. DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO PRESERVE YOUR INTEGRITY COS THE TRUTH IS THAT SEX KILLED THE "RELATIONSHIP" (which it wasn't) and IT ALWAYS WILL; until you're old enough to understand what you're doing, how you're being manipulated, and that someone who dearly loves you SHOWS his love by MAKING LOVE; not by popping your cherry then yucking it up with his buddies. How gross.
You go girl; he sucks!
xx
Alexx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): If he were interested, he would be with you. He's not. That's why he is ignoring you. Don't try to make excuses for his behavior. Move on.
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A
female
reader, obsticalfree +, writes (28 September 2009):
Everyone here has given good advice you have called and texted don't do anymore . I've also noticed that men have a little bit different wait period than women when a guy misses a woman he will be like gnat loads of attention and requests to see her but... once he sees her and well has sex he will often go for a week without seeing her or talking to her much cuz he is physically and emotionally sated. He knows the she needs to hear from him but he doesn't bother because he doesn't need her in the same way. And he doesn't need to be concerned that you like him because you've called and texted and are in touch. Basically he is being selfish but it is a natural phenomenon he will call when he misses you . A little over a week or so if you don't call he will and act like he's just been busy 'whats up'? Decide if that is enough for you . I think if it was your first time he should of been a bit more attentive....but that's life. If he doesn't call - with a big apology very soon then he simply just used you and can't be bothered its not the end you will meet someone better and he would be an idiot and a user.
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A
female
reader, Kendra0589 +, writes (28 September 2009):
Kendra0589 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks everyone I will try I appreciate all of your answers :)
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (28 September 2009):
I mean the last time...
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (28 September 2009):
Yes, I also have to agree. He got what he wanted and now he's not interested. Just whatever you do, DO NOT call him or text him anymore...don't email him or anything else. You'll just be disappointed every time you try to communicate with him and either he ignores you or he doesn't tell you what you would hope to hear. It happens, and it probably won't be the first time.
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A
female
reader, AngellicaWaters +, writes (27 September 2009):
 I have posted this in response before to someone, but it really applies to your situation too.
This guy just isn't interested in you. Unfortunately your actions led to him treating you this way. If you are looking for more than just hooking up or making out, then you need to make a man earn being with you.
It was too easy for him to get what he wanted and because of that, it's become a situation where you gave him what he wants (sex) and you don't get what you want (love, respect, a relationship).
You have to act in accord with what you want in order to get it. In order to get a relationship, you have to treat yourself and intimacy (sex) with you as if it's a prize to be earned. If a man will not take a while to get to know you and form an attachment to you, you should not have sex with him unless you expect for it to turn into a causual and unfulfilling situation like this is.
You deserve better than this, you should just move on, keep your goals in mind for the next man you meet and match your actions to your goals. Once you have this part of relationships down, it will get easier to find men of better quality. A quality man will work to earn you and work to earn intimacy with you.
I hope this helps you and I wish you the best.
-Angellica
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A
female
reader, MrsP  +, writes (27 September 2009):
Unfortunately I feel that this man was looking for comfort and is not ready to commit to a relationship at this moment in time. He still has issues regarding his previous relationship concerning his children and is unable to enter into another relationship until they are resolved. It is a shame that your first time was not in a long term loving relationship but you should not feel bad because of this. He obviously feels bad about what happened as he is avoiding you so that he does not have to explain his behaviour. My advice would be to give him space to sort himself out and see if he contacts you when he feels ready. If he does not, then it was not meant to be and you should move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, Anonny +, writes (27 September 2009):
This is a classic case of a man sweet-talking a woman into bed and once he has - he loses interest!
It sounds like you've been had - and hopefully you are now wise enough to realise NEVER have sex with a man until you know you are in a steady relationship with him and he loves you back! - Unless you just want a one night stand of course (like he obviously did!)
Maybe he'll come back - but good luck in future, if he doesn't!
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female
reader, Rose_red_09 +, writes (27 September 2009):
Yep - he really is not interested I'm afraid.Funny how men can find the time to text you and soon as they get they wanted - they suddenly lose the ability to look at the phone and text back...
You need to walk away and just realise that it was an experience in your life that you can learn from. There really are better guys out there - move on and let him go.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 September 2009):
I'm afraid he's just not bothered. Don't bother with him, let him go. And don't feel bad about it being your first time, and don't regret it. You haven't done anything wrong. The good news is, there are better guys out there. Take your time to get to know one who is special. All the best.
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female
reader, MissKin +, writes (27 September 2009):
 I don't mean to be blatant but screw him. He's obviously not very interested in you or he would recall. Don't regret your first time though, if it was nice at the time it was better than most. Leave him and let him come running back to you if he wants you, but I think you should move on.
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