A
female
age
36-40,
*ammye17
writes:please help..to make this story short here it goes..i had a relationship with a married man...we parted went our seperate ways painfully he broke it off...he said that i deserved better and that if he got divorced he would come back to me because he loved me. well time passed i met a nice guy.things just went quickly from there.5 months. well i am 22 its not like i want a ring ASAP but i am looking for something formal, serious that may lead in the future to marriage. this guy is 2 years older and i feel like he cant give me what i am looking for hes nice, sweet, handsome, hard worker but still partying. it was not like that in the beginning but now the ex came back divorced offering me everything i wanted he said he was ready to make me his......iam confused should i leave my current guy.. i feel like things are not going anywhere or be back with my ex which we went through alot off....ex is 35..help
View related questions:
divorce, married man, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (30 October 2009):
 Often men who are involved in extramartial affairs think they are in love with the other woman; you need to let your ex have a "cooling off" period after his divorce. Even if he says he wants to be with you now, he may find after a few months that he's not ready to get back into a serious relationship. If this man loves you now, he will still love you a year from now. In the meantime, I really suggest that you date around a bit. At 22, you don't need to be in a hurry to settle down. Go out with your friends, finish your education and have a good time before you lock yourself into a serious relationship.
A
female
reader, tammye17 +, writes (30 October 2009):
tammye17 is verified as being by the original poster of the question i wanted to make a point... he did not leave his wife for me..he left because of the arguments they had it was not working out.. he told me it was the best for them..now i did tell the young guy what i wanted in the beggining i told him i wanted a serious formal relationship and we started out and he chose to be like that with me but i dont really know whats going on. i just dont want to loose the right person
...............................
A
female
reader, babymama99 +, writes (30 October 2009):
 You need to find another man altogether.
Don't feel sorry for the ex-married man I mean really how do you know that he divorced her. She probably found out that he was a low down cheater and kicked his butt out. Now he's running back to you - don't be his soft place to land.
The married man is a cheat, you know that first hand. And the new boyfriend is too wild for what you're looking for.
So I say look behind door #3 maybe you'll find your prince charming.
...............................
A
female
reader, AngellicaWaters +, writes (30 October 2009):
 I absolutely agree with Gerta (Well said Gerta!). Neither of these men is a good choice.
Here's the problem I see though, it sounds as if you got in a relationship with the second, younger man without really expressing or going after what you really want.
If you want a long term committed relationship, from the beginning you have to make this known. It's not a lets discuss this later sort of thing, it's a put it out there on the first date because I'm not interested in anyone who is offended by this sort of thing.
In order to get what you really want, you have to openly communicate it and for anyone you date, you have to make sure this is something they are ready for. It seems this younger guy isn't ready at all and I bet you knew this a long time before now too. It's not going where you want it to go and that is enough to let it go.
Find someone who shares your values and your present and future life goals. Those things are vital if you want happiness.
I hope all of this works out for the best for you!
-Angellica Waters
...............................
A
female
reader, X-x-Galaxy-x-X  +, writes (30 October 2009):
 okay well what you should be thinking is do you really love your current boyfriend could you imagen him really marrying you and spending the rest of your life with him ?or does it slide over to your ex ? your boyfriend is still young hes still at a partying every night age, arnt you? the ex married man sounds like he had given up his whole life for you but maybe you should listen around his friends and family and see what he had told them just to make sure. trust your heart but also your mind thinking ahead is very important.
...............................
A
female
reader, ShadowGoddess231 +, writes (30 October 2009):
 What you need to do is step back and look at the full picture. The guy that was married and now wanting you will in the long run hurt you and go out with someone else on the side while being married to you. Don't leave the guy that you are with try to work things out with him. Talk to him. If he really loves you he'll do what it is to make you happy. If not none of them, find someone else you got time.
...............................
A
female
reader, ShadowGoddess231 +, writes (30 October 2009):
What you need to do is step back and look at the full picture. The guy that was married and now wanting you will in the long run hurt you and go out with someone else on the side while being married to you. Don't leave the guy that you are with try to work things out with him. Talk to him. If he really loves you he'll do what it is to make you happy. If not none of them, find someone else you got time.
...............................
|
