A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a brother who is married. My sister-in-law has a little brother that is 13 years old. I owned a four wheeler that I keep at my house. I told my brother that he can borrow it as long as he asked permission first and he doesn't let his brother-in-law or any of his friends used it. Several years ago, one of my friends died on a four wheeler so I know how dangerous they can be. About three months ago, my brother came over and borrow it without permission (he has a key to my house). I saw my sister-in-law's Facebook page and saw her little brother using it. I called my brother and yelled at him for taking my four wheeler without permission and letting his brother-in-law used it.But I started thinking for a month that I don't need the four wheeler anymore since I quit hunting a few years ago. The only time that I used it is when I am moving it from one side of my garage to the other side of the garage. So about two months ago, I sold my four wheeler without telling my family. I didn't sell it to get back at my brother for my brother taking it without permission and let his brother-in-law use it. The only thing that did was it got me to start thinking "Why do I own a four wheeler that I never use anymore and is costing me money in repairs".Last week, my brother called me and asked if he could borrow my four wheeler. I told him "I'm sorry but I no longer own the four wheeler. I sold it a couple months ago".Now my brother and sister-in-law are angry at me for selling it without talking to them about it. But in my opinion, I didn't need to talk to them about it since the four wheeler belonged to me. Did I do anything wrong by selling the four wheeler without talking to my brother about it first?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 January 2023):
 You bought it, you own it. You can sell it, give it away, trash it, or burn it as YOU see fit.
Your brother had NO right to just come to take it. That is theft, even if he is allowed to use it.
If they WANT to ride 4x4's they can go buy one.
Don't feel bad. You decided you didn't want to hassle with upkeep and you didn't use it.
Your brother sounds rather entitled.
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (29 January 2023):
 It was your to sell. You didn't need anyone's approval or permission. You had concerns about someone getting hurt (rightly so). Your requests were disregarded and that right there would upset me. You being kind and generous and were taken advantage of. Yes you could have asked your brother first before selling it and that I guess would have been very nice but under no circumstances did you need to do so. If your brother wants one so bad, he can buy one. I wouldn't bring the subject up again. If your brother does, just say I didn't want to be responsible if someone were to get hurt and I just felt more comfortable selling it to someone else. End of story. It should then be dropped. Its not worth a family fued and hopefully everyone will see that.
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (29 January 2023):
 You already KNOW you didn't do anything wrong in selling your own property.
However, as you have gone to the effort of posting on this site, I would hazard a guess that you are questioning your motives for selling the quad. Whether you sold it because it was no longer needed and just in your way (as you claim), or because you were fed up of your brother taking advantage while ignoring your rules about who could use it, is really irrelevant. It was your property to do with as you pleased. Personally I suspect there was at least a touch of the second reason involved but, given your brother's disregard for your rules on its use, then I feel many of us would also have had a hint of that when making the decision to sell. After all, how would you have felt if there had been an accident involving the vehicle and someone had been badly hurt/killed? Despite your instructions, as a decent human being you would have felt guilt.
Your brother is one cheeky individual who thinks he has a right to use your property as and when he sees fit. You need to put a stop to him doing that. As you have found, it only leads to feelings of entitlement and, ultimately, resentment. No thanks for all the times you have allowed him to use it (free of charge, we assume); just condemnation for selling it.
Of course, it would have been nice if you had told him you were going to sell it and offered first refusal to him. However, perhaps again you dreaded anything bad happening due to your brother's reckless regard for safety on the quad. If he wants a quad, there are plenty on the market which he can go out and purchase. His entertainment is not your responsibility.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2023): It was your personal-property to do with as you pleased. You had legitimate concerns and reservations about the vehicle; and your brother failed to comply with your rules regarding its use.
The way I see it, they'll get over it. If their love is contingent on the use of that recreational vehicle; that's a sad commentary on their personalities.
The vehicle is no longer a bone of contingency or reason for worry. It's out of your life. I think given time, out of sight, out of mind. If your brother really wants one bad enough, let him go purchase one of his own.
If your brother wanted the vehicle, he could have made you an offer to purchase it; you didn't need to consult with him, nor ask his permission to sell your own property. He got all the use he needed out of it; but had every opportunity to offer to purchase it if he wanted it so badly. Apparently, it never crossed his mind either.
Don't make an issue of it. Let it ride. Material things shouldn't separate families. People will find one reason or another to get mad at you. It's gone now. He's still your brother, and guilt about this is unnecessary. He didn't comply with your rules; and your brother, or somebody unauthorized, could have gotten hurt on it, or worse. You would have never forgiven yourself.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2023): Well, technically no, you did not. The vehicle was yours and being its legitimate owner you have the right to do with it whatever you want . But I don't think your brother is questioning your legal right to sell your four wheeler, he is questioning your sensitivy and kindness. Knowing that he, and his young brother -in-law, have shown interest in that vehicle in the past, and asked repeatedly to borrow it, obviously it would have been nicer and more brotherly if before selling it you had asked your brother if by any chance he wanted to buy it. The point of being brothers is just that - that supposedly you treat them better than any random strangers , and, if there is something you can do , which you know will give them joy and gratification - you do it.Even if technically you don't have to.
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