| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello I have been friends with someone about a year. He works but doesn't make much. So I have been giving him money ( not alot) a bit for food here and there. Anyways, his bay came and he asked if I could give some money. I sent 75.00. He had the nerve to ask for more. I tried to be nice and help him out throughout this year but I'm tired of our conversations being about money always. I'm no one's bank and I've told him that. He always says if you give me this I'll never ask you again , then keeps asking. His words mean absolutely nothing to me. How can I get him to stop bothering me ? I have blocked him, then he will use a friend's number to contact me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2023): Just stop giving him money. You weren't assertive, or didn't come across as serious; so he knows begging will make you give-in.
Have a face-to-face talk, and tell him you feel the friendship hinges on giving him money; and that makes you feel he may be using you. You can't maintain a friendship with someone who makes you feel that way. Then tell him, you will not give him anymore money; and then be prepared to end the friendship. If someone doesn't want to be friends after refusing them money; they were never a friend, they were a mooch. You can't be wishywashy, you have to be direct.
He knows how to pull on your heartstrings and make you feel sorry for him. You've come to feel something bad will happen to him if you don't rescue him. He has family and other friends, but you're easier to appeal to.
You know how to hang-up a call from someone you don't want to hear from. Being a pushover or sap is not being nice, nor generous. Not when you allow people to take advantage of your kindness.
Trust me, he will survive without your handouts, and you know that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2023): You are too soft, naive, easily manipulated and being used. And you know it. Complaining to us won't change it. You have to change.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2023): Typo *** meant to say his bday
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 January 2023):
 Stop giving him money.
He IS taking advantage of you. And you know it. He isn't a friend.
If you keep giving him the money he is going to keep asking for more.
"I have blocked him, then he will use a friend's number to contact me."
Just keep blocking ANY number he calls from. If you answer and it's him, HANG up, block, and move on.
OR even better... Get yourself a new phone number.
HE isn't a friend, he is a mooch.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (25 January 2023):
 Not sure what a "bay" is. The only bays I know have water in them or are a particular colour of horse. Assuming you mean a boyfriend/girlfriend? So not only is he expecting you to feed him but also his partner? And you went ahead and did it.
You say "his words mean absolutely nothing to me" but YOUR words mean absolutely nothing to him either. You keep saying you won't give him any more money but you still do. Why SHOULD he back off when he knows he will be successful in getting more money, regardless of what you say? You have to actually MEAN it and stop giving him money.
As for him contacting you from friends' numbers, do like many people these days do and don't answer unknown numbers. If the call is important, they will leave a voicemail message and you can call back.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (25 January 2023):
Test
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