A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together about 6 months. He's obsessed with money. He believes he will be very rich and says it's in his DNA lol. However it disturbs me because that's all he thinks about. Most conversations revolve around money. To me yes, we need money but I'm not obsessed with it. He was raised poor so I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it. He works part time I work full time and I do well financially. I'm concerned that's why he's with me. He hasn't asked for anything yet.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2022): wiseowl I had to leave school at 15 with no education whatsoever but I was a millionairess by the age of 40 with no help or support from anyone. You need an education if you are hoping to get into a career where others employ you and pay your wages, not otherwise. The point is if a man is not what you need him and want him to be - and deserve to have - you dump them. You don't moan about them to anyone who will listen, or carry on with it in the hope a turd turns into a diamond.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (21 January 2022):
 If you already have such reservations after only 6 months, how will you feel another 6 months, or even 6 years, down the line?
Why does your boyfriend only work part time when he has such an obsession about money? Is he all talk? Does he expect money to fall into his lap without having to work for it (as in a lottery win or similar)? If this is the case, he is likely to be dreaming forever.
People who don't have much money often live under the illusion that money would solve all their problems. It is only when they actually do have money that they realize this is not the case. Yes, we need money to live, and it is nice not to have to worry about money, but it absolutely is not the answer to all problems. In fact, it often creates more problems than it solves.
Like you, I would be wary about his motives for being with you. If he was out working full time, or trying to get better qualifications to enable him to get a better paying job, then that might be different. However, just doing a part time job while dreaming of being rich is very childish and unrealistic.
Weigh up what you are getting out of this relationship and where you see it heading. Do you actually enjoy being with him? If you are already tired of hearing him droning on and on about how rich he is going to be while coasting along doing a part time job, then cut your losses and find someone who has the same work ethic as you do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2022): Have met and spoken to a lot of people like this, to be honest they live in a dream world are self obsessed, entitled, often very lazy - all talk and no action. You cannot change him, he prefers to day dream about a better life and will do this until he goes to his grave. But why are you bothering to be with him? You have nothing in common and see only faults in him? Pointless for you to be with him then. Instead of looking at his faults look at your own - sticking in a pointless relationship is a far bigger fault than day dreaming.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2022): You work full-time and he works only part-time; so he feels he has to overcompensate by appearing motivated and ambitious. Money, money, money, is always the topic of his conversation. He feels insecure about the fact you're probably earning more; and he's afraid you'll look down on him. This is pretty much a guy-thing.
Not that you should have to, but reassure him that you understand his financial situation for the moment; but he doesn't always have to dominate the conversation about his earning potential. Actions speak louder than words; and if he has a lot of ambition, then his efforts will more than demonstrate how dedicated he is to a good work-ethic and willingness to succeed.
We men have a lot that goes-on in our minds when it comes to being able to be a good provider. Everyone looks down on a loser or a slacker. Society conditions us from boyhood that we are not worthy as men, or successful; unless we make a lot of money. Poverty is a great motivator as well.
I think a little encouragement and reassurance goes a long-way; but talk is cheap. Don't just talk the talk, walk the walk! If he's ambitious, and he plans to be a financial-success; then suggest he put that positive-energy into working hard, saving his money; and being pennywise, until he reaches his goals. Meanwhile, remind him that as long as you're his woman; you'll stand by him all the way! It's not necessary to keep reminding you that he's ambitious, you can see that demonstrated through his work-ethic.
Earning potential is not in the DNA; it's behind dedication to a good work-ethic, having a reasonably good education, believing in yourself, and sticking to your goals.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 January 2022):
 If he was raised poor then money is definitely NOT in his "DNA", and like FA pointed out so cleverly, money has nothing to do with DNA, and working part-time will HARDLY make him wealthy in any line of business.
Maybe he is all talk? He knows YOU are doing well financially so he BRAGS about all the money he hasn't gotten yet, to make himself feel better about earning less than you.
My question to you is this, WHAT do you two share in common?
Is this what you want from a partner and relationship? Constant talks about money?
Is he a person you can see yourself with long-term?
And lastly, 6 months into this relationship you say: "I'm concerned that's why he's with me. " - so it's something that you feel doubt about.
Maybe you need to figure out IF he is someone you can see a life with (and not one built on all his money fantasies) OR not.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (20 January 2022):
 Apparently he doesn't understand how DNA works.
Apparently he also doesn't understand how money works.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2022): Just make sure you keep your finances separate. He's not likely to become rich working a part time job.
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