A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello ?? Social media has been a good way to make new friends. I have made a couple of long lasting friendships, however, it's also frustrating when you talk to people and they seem to feel it's okay to ask for money. Most times it's men from Nigeria, no offense to anyone, I'm just speaking from my own experience. They'll be sweet and suddenly they love you, then boom, can you send money? I have explained to several different people already I'm sorry , I don't know you, and I'm not comfortable doing that. I can understand some really do need help but I can't help everyone that asks me to help it's impossible. In my opinion, it's almost like they feel since they're giving compliments that should be an exchange for sending them money. I had a guy recently say it was his bday and he needed help, however, he forgot to remove his previous pictures of his bday and infact it was not his bday lol. Another, saying his phone was bad could I send 1,000.00 to get him another cell . Also, needed money for school. Becareful out there, don't send money to everyone that asks you! I'm wondering why they feel it's someone else's responsibility to take care of them?
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (6 January 2022):
 These men make a living out of scamming vulnerable and/or gullible women. They don't NEED anything; they WANT your money. In truth, they probably have a lot more money than you do.
I would advise you to stop making friends on social media with random people you don't know. I have had numerous requests from men I have never heard of/with whom I have no mutual friends. I always decline the requests because I have no wish to buy "friendship".
You need to get out more and make real friends.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2022): I think it comes down to common sense and simple prudence that you realize that the internet is full of schemers, trolls, predators, and scammers.
Money scams are very profitable; because of naive, and lonely people. You can consider some people just plain stupid, or foolish; because they are warned and informed of online-scams, but insist on giving their money away to these internet thieves. Not all these people are innocent victims, some are intentionally searching for poverty-stricken foreigners for sexual-exploitation, or to marry them into slave-like situations; and there are some very crafty predators out there, who are good at beating these scammers at their own game.
I can't imagine that you're so naive as to not know why people take advantage of people for money. Seriously, sweetheart?!! Some people know no other way to earn money than through theft and scams. There are people who look for easy-money schemes; because there are so many suckers out there, or they don't want to work for money.
Greediness is usually behind online money scams; and foolish people encourage it, even though they know about these online criminals. If they deliberately search online to find them; they have some idea of the possibility of running into a scam situation. Come on!!! If you're a reasonably intelligent person on the internet, how can you not know about trolls and scammers out to get your money?
Why they do it, is something even a child could figure-out. It's one thing when they phish and deceive you; but there are those who intentionally seek to make contact, even travel to see these people; and end-up sending them money based on sob-stories. When there are legitimate local and national charities you can give to; and know to whom and where your money is going. But no, instead they'll go out of their way trying to buy love from people online; total strangers living on another continent, who blatantly and shamelessly ask them for money. Yet they have no suspicion? These same people step over homeless-people begging on the street any given day; but turn their snobbish noses up at them! Yet eagerly give money to some stranger over the internet they've never met; based on nothing but a sob-story. Oh, for gosh sakes!!!
It's easy to use hunger and poverty as an excuse to do criminal things, or to rob people; but honest people find ways to survive without stealing and taking advantage of those who only want to help them. It doesn't even register with these scam-victims that it's odd these scammers can find their way to a computer or phone so regularly; but can't find themselves a legitimate job, or resources through their own countries for help! Do they intend to support these people for life? I mean, seriously?!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2022): You have a lot to learn. These guys do it as a full time job. You are one of dozens, perhaps hundreds who they talk to this way. They do not mean any of those flattering things they say and none of them are your friends. So forget that fantasy.
When they realise you will never pay them money they disappear. So much for the friendship. You are being very naive.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 January 2022):
 They do it because they have seen it work for others. And it's an easy way to make money, just milking desperate and lonely foreigners, all they have to do is write "sweet nothing", have internet access and voila! money in the bank.
It's a simple script. Like you said, "They'll be sweet and suddenly they love you, then boom, can you send money?".
What I don't get is why people entertain this at all. The FIRST time someone asks for money ( they usually start low then up the ante) WHY not say no? Then block and remove because it won't stop unless you block them.
And for those people who think they are doing a kind thing by helping, will become a target for not just one "professional scammer" but several.
I have read stories about people taking out LOANS, selling their house for someone they have NEVER met in real life. Either because they think there IS a relationship going on with marriage at the end of the rainbow, or they think they are investing in something that can potentially make them millionaires.
For some people, common sense goes out the window the minute they think someone is in love with them and NEED them.
It doesn't help that the countries that have a lot of these people (the scammers) ignore the issues as it benefits financially from this - from police to banking.
While making friends with people from faraway lands can be awesome, people need to consider that not everyone has good intentions and it IS their own responsibility to weed out the bad apples. But that can be hard too as these scammers get better and better at finding vulnerable people.
It is up to everyone to use common sense.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (6 January 2022):
 I think that there are always going to be scammers and fraudsters out there who will put on the charm, tell you that they love you only to get your hard earned cash.
There have been a lot of posts here on DC from people that have unfortunately been the victim of a scam, but its only towards the end once a considerable amount of money has been lost that they realise they have been conned.
Its good that you were smart and wise enough to realise it was not right and never parted with any money.
Its good that you write this post as well, as someone who is going through the same thing and sending money to someone in another country this might at least be of some value to them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2022): Glad you can see that these people are trying to scam you. They are not your friends, they are not acquaintances, they are people who are using you. Don't waste your time on them.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (6 January 2022):
I would never in a million years send money to anyone I've never met in person. And for the most part anyone not in my normal life (not people I primarily see on social media).
It's worth noting that sometimes Facebook accounts are stolen, and those who gain access to the accounts will start asking the person's friends for money, claiming it's an emergency.
This happened to one of my old co-workers. I got a message from him in broken English asking for money and I knew that he would never have reached out to me like that.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (6 January 2022):
 The people asking you for money are not genuinely seeking friendship but lack proper manners, or are desperate enough not to care.
These are people seeking money, casting a wide net on social media in hopes of ensnaring people like you. They want money, not friends.
When you offer polite declinations and explanations you show yourself to be naïve and weak. I suggest you stop adding people to your social media accounts and change your privacy settings so that only friends/friends of friends can see you.
Anyone you have already added who has asked for money, or even hinted about some hardship in their lives (which is leading up to asking for money)-just delete and block them without any announcements.
These people are not hurt because they are not seeking friendship. Once they know it's a definite 'no' they'll move on and forget all about you.
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