A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is an odd situation. I got dumped by this girl, and saying that we’re not on speaking terms goes without saying. She tells me to "No longer contact her for ANY reasons." So, I honour that fully. Now, strange thing is, she, for some oddball reason, sends me an address, almost a year later. This is most likely to be a deliberate thing. How do I know? It’s from Google, saying that an address shared using her email address from the College I went to. For context, try to send a loved one or a family member an address. You’ll notice that it requires you to enter an email address to send the address to. Meaning, she typed in my email address. All in all, I find this… stuff out, basically almost a whole decade later. I know, I should probably just ignore it, but, I have a hard time doing that. The reason why is simple. Why does she tell me to "Never contact her for any reasons," yet, she somehow has the right to contact me? Yeah. Let’s just say that I want to be prepared to deal with any potential encounter with her.In all honesty, if she gets an Officer to try to get me to talk to her, I will laugh like a hyena (due to the fact that I am honouring her request to not contact her), and produce that message as evidence that she actually told me what I have been doing all this time (Not contacting her for any reasons).Should I take self-defence classes? My ex is an enemy, I want to be able to be safe, no matter what happens, in the event of an altercation (which I hope does not happen).
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2021): Is this something you've done, or have done before? You've explained it in such complete detail. I wonder if the story is all in reverse, and you're trying to find-out what you should be on the lookout for, or how to dodge any attempt to file a complaint against you? Maybe you want to attempt contact, and you'd like to know what the consequences might be?
Dear sir, I sincerely apologize if these presumptions are completely off the mark. I honestly try to be fair, thorough, and concise; and try to view things from all angles. I otherwise, shoot from the hip!
Just ignore her, block any further contact, and go about your life as usual. There should be no reason this bothers you so much; and if someone was so upset they demanded you never to contact them by any means, or for any reason, that pretty much should be taken seriously.
If you suspect it is some sort of setup; ignoring her will completely solve the issue.
If there are any witnesses, or there is any video, or other forms of evidence to substantiate any claims this woman has asked you never to contact her; then common sense should tell you to avoid her at all costs.
A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (29 December 2021):
Maybe she didn't have to type in your full email address. Maybe your email was ben.brown@wherever and she meant to email belinda.brown@somewhere-else and when she typed in "be" a list of options popped up and she selected the wrong one. I've done similar things before.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (29 December 2021):
 It all sounds rather strange and, frankly, I have no desire to pry further and ask any questions, except WHY is it so difficult for you to ignore this message, even all this time later? If you answer, she still has control over you. Take back control and ignore the message. You will feel all the better for it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 December 2021):
 She wants your attention. That is clear.
You call her an "enemy" which is a strong word to call someone, even an ex, and especially years after a break-up, shouldn't you be indifferent by now? Why hold on to feelings about this woman still?
She is living rent-free in your head, OP
YOU are allowing her to mess with you still.
TBH, If the address she sent you is an e-mail address, then block the address (if you can) OR simply delete the e-mail. I'm not really sure about the whole address thing, it doesn't make sense to me at all.
Why invite drama back into your life?
Best "revenge" is to live a good life.
No one (not even you) can read her mind and guess why she did that. But more to the point, WHY does it matter?
And why do you think it would come down to a physical altercation?
And which Officer would try and make you talk to her?
I have more questions than answers here.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2021): Of course she has the right to contact you. That has nothing to do with telling you that you cannot contact her. If she knows you are keen it will amuse her to pick you up, put you down and pick you up again at whim. It gives her great power over you and much joy. But will you go along with it or be sensible and say no thanks, you are not toying with me and I would rather you do not contact me ever again.
To be honest you are talking rubbish. You say if she gets an officer to try to get me to talk to her. What? Why would any officer waste their time on that? Get real. She may but an officer has no reason to bother and it is not their business. This is a personal and private thing between the two of you. It is not as if you have broken the law and someone wishes to question you with a view to arresting you or warning you to stay away.
If you think it is so awful to be in touch with this person after all this time then walk away and ignore everything. Simple. Use a bit of common sense and act more adult.
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