A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi auntsadvice needed, I work at a warehouse processing materials for shirts and badges for football teams. there is a female at work who doesn’t seem to like me, either because I’m ugly or get on her nerves. I normally don’t do social media, but when I was on my facebook. I got a friend request from the lady who can’t stand me. what’s her game and why would you send a friend request to someone if you hate them that much? accepted the friend request, now I have regrets for doing so. what would be the best thing to do, in this situation.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2022): She's nosy and just wants the gossip on your life. It's a sad trait that people have when they're dissatisfied with life and want to inflict their misery on others (passive-aggressiveness).
Just block her and tell her you deleted your FB is she asks.
If you keep her on, she will just speculate about your life and probably use it to pass the time in work.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2021): I agree with Honeypie. I think she just wants to get the inside-scoop on your life, and investigate who's among your contacts. Don't be paranoid; but to play it safe, just assume her intentions are malicious.
I suggest you block her access to all your social media platforms. It's inconsistent to show your disdain to someone's face; and then make a friend request online. It stinks to high heaven, if you ask me! Don't allow her the access to harass or embarrass you. If she's mean at work, expect the same from her at all times. Never acknowledge any of her attempts to comment, or contact you.
You're not in grade-school, you're not a little-boy; and she isn't some little-girl with a secret crush on you. She's an adult.
Take it more as a warning she's getting into your business, and just looking for things to gossip about at work. I don't think her intentions are good, and you should stay a professional-distance from her. Human nature makes us want people to like us, accept, or validate us; the wrong people will play on these natural human emotions as a weakness they can exploit or abuse.
In this case, you know as a fact that she doesn't like you. Go with that!
Always be polite, but distant with her. Don't make rude faces, or show any negative emotions. She is your co-worker, not a friend. She requires/deserves no access to your private-life. Make contact with her only if and when it is work-related. Suppress all urges to try to make her like you. If she doesn't, she doesn't! So what?!! If she makes your work-environment feel unnecessarily hostile; you should report the matter to your supervisor, and/or HR.
Treat her as cordially as you would any other co-worker. Mind your own business; so she has no other choice, but to mind hers! It's unstable to go out of your way to harass, insult, spy on, or bother people you don't like; or have no particular interest to be friends with. It is also potentially criminal, when you snoop around on people, if you're up to no-good!
Whether you are ugly, or not; she is nobody to judge you one-way or another. She is too mean and hateful to be considered objective; or worthy to judge you, or anybody else. Being rude or mean to someone who hasn't done anything to you, says all of the above about a person like that.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (29 December 2021):
 Speaking from experience, I know how easy it is to accidentally press the friend request button when snooping on someone's page. Not everyone knows you can cancel the friend request afterwards.
In your shoes I would have ignored the request and, if she had brought it up, pretended you hadn't seen it or said something like "I'm not looking to accept any new friends at the moment".
Given that you have accepted the request and now have regrets, unfriend this lady and move on with your life. I would probably close down your page to friends only so she cannot see what you post.
Lesson for the future: just because you receive a friend request, does not mean you have to accept it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 December 2021):
 Maybe she wants to snoop on your life, OP
Some people are like that. You say she hates you, I think that might be a bit strong. People don't in general HATE others for being ugly or.. annoying.
What is your best move? Just unfriend & block her.
If she hasn't talked to you over FB, she probably IS snooping and honestly, you don't OWE anyone access to your social media to snoop.
Unfriend and block her. It's OK.
If she ASKS you why (which I don't think she will) just tell her you did a friendslist clean up. Or just shrug.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2021): You are making too much of the word friend in the term friend request. Hoping that it means she really likes you. Nah. She is being polite. She may have thousands of so called friends she would never want to meet or go out with in real life. Stop looking for clues that she likes you and making them up to suit. As for the idea she does not like you because you are ugly! Do you realise how childish and pathetic this sounds? Kids speak this way. Women do not decide who they like or do not like by their face, they go by their intelligence, education, personality, wit, honesty etc, it is those things she has to like to like you, obviously they don't suit so just accept it. You cannot get everyone to like you, that is life. Perhaps it is as simple as you mooning over her and making her feel uncomfortable. Or you being too shy and quiet and she finds this boring. Perhaps because you are the wrong age group or have someone already. Only you know your negatives! Whatever they are why not concentrate on improving them so the next time you meet and moon over someone they are less likely to reject you.
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A
male
reader, Indiglorex +, writes (29 December 2021):
You can always block her posts and remain "friends" on FB. That way you don't come off weird as accepting a request then deleting it. Maybe she's just being friendly and wants to send friend requests to all her co workers.
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