A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi auntsa female colleague who used to work at the company I work at, recently left to go back to university. while I was sad to see her go, I wished her good luck and we remained in contact for a few months. then out the blue, I get a message from her sister saying, I have over messaged her and said things which are inappropriate, which isn’t true. when we have talked, it’s months apart and not all the time. it hurts she has decided to do this to me, as I have been nothing but be kind, and respectful, when I told her sister this, that I hadn’t over messaged or said anything that was unpleasant towards her, she said she didn’t believe me, and she and her sister would get me into trouble, I’ve received no phone calls from anyone that I am.what should I do? it’s just so wrong this is happening to me and I would never dream of doing this to someone else. help please
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2022):
I just asked her how she was and if she had been up to anything exciting and nothing more. all innocent, think it’s the sister that’s worrying me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2022): I suspect your message was more than just hi how are you, do you like your new job? Perhaps it hinted that you would like to get together, that you like them a lot, etc, in other words fancy them and seeing if you can get somewhere with them now they are gone? Even so, is that something to feel bad about or ashamed of? If you are in a relationship yes. If they are and you knew it yes. This would explain why you are feeling uncomfortable now. Because if you are totally innocent and it was as innocent as you say why are you so worried?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2022): Go over all your message communications sent to her with an attorney, and determine if anything can be construed as inappropriate. Make sure you have never drunk-texted or contacted her while high or intoxicated. You may not be completely aware of all you've said, or misspoke in humor.
If there is a significant age-difference, or if this woman has an unknown mental-illness; that should be considered. I had a friend who is diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorder. For years, I never knew it; but found-out by accident. He was accusing me of doing the things to him, that he was doing to me. It was so bazaar! In any case, I would not respond to any communications from her sister.
If your communications are sent strictly by text, IM, or email; you should have record of all your messages. I recommend you go back as far as you can; and keep a lawyer on standby or retainer; if this turns-out to be some sort of extortion plot.
Don't panic or jump to wild conclusions; just block all further means of contact, and go about your own business. If you ask me, it seems a bit peculiar. If she has a problem with your contact, she had every opportunity to speak for herself.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (10 January 2022):
 I agree with Honeypie's advice to keep copies of whatever conversations you still have as evidence.
As stated, there are a few possibilities here. One that the two of them are up to no good, another that the sister is acting independently of your former colleague. The latter may know nothing about her message to you. The sister may have been diagnosed with some mental illness. This is no excuse, of course, because she knew what she was doing. I'm just saying it might be sign that she has a history of unstable/abusive behaviour.
It could be that the sister's email was compromised in some way. Someone gained access to her account and sent out silly emails to folks on her contact list. Any number of things.
So, I would keep evidence of the conversations, perhaps note the date of your last contact with her, then block and delete.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (10 January 2022):
 I suspect the next communication you are likely to get from them is a demand for money to keep quiet. I also suspect they know you scare easily.
Delete and block the pair of them and lock down any media profiles so they can't find you.
Sadly there are some nasty people out there. Protect yourself.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 January 2022):
 Are you sure it's from the sister?
Not sure what is going in with this former colleague and her sister but DO print out whatever convo has existed and SAVE any conversations before they delete them and "fudge" some fake stuff and cause you trouble at work. That way IF they do contact your work, you HAVE documentation.
Secondly. BLOCK them both, DELETE any and all contact info, and UNFRIEND.
After that is done, PRIVATE your social media.
Seems like your former colleague have been telling her sisters some "wild stories" or the sister is jealous or overprotective. Or they are trying to create some drama in their lives and YOU seem an easy target. Don't engage. Don't fall for it.
COVER your arse! And cut ALL contact.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2022): I would just ignore the messages and get on with your life. It's perfectly normal to message an ex colleague who you got along with to ask how she's doing, if she is enjoying her new job, etc. If she didnt want to hear from you she wouldn't have replied. Her sister sounds crazy getting involved like that. If your ex colleague was bothered by you she should have told you herself. I suggest you ignore the message and dont message your ex colleague again unless she contacts you. Dont speak to her sister, she has nothing to do with anything and might be a compulsive liar, crazy, etc.
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