A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:i am in my 80's and have been married for over 60 my wife is getting very aggresive and whilst I try io get out of her way { probably for 4 hours} this doesnt do anything for the situation. These arguements with my wife shouting and banging around can go for 3 days including the evening. I have taken advise not to respond even getting out of the way to no avail. eventually she will lose control and start pushing slapping around the head I am sad to admit that I lose control and retaliate. I can honestly say that I dont start any arguements they can start by me reading a article from a newspaper and my wife will use that as an excuse for things she remembers 60 odd years ago.I have appologised for these things sometimes not even remembering them Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2022): Changes in personalità, and verbally/physically aggressive behaviour are common symptoms both of Alzheimer's diverse and senile dementia (confusion and loss of memory are typical of the early stage of dementia but when the illness progresses ,episodes of violence are very frequent ).Anyway - it takes a good specialist to tell you which is which, and your wife needs to be seen and diagnosi by one ASAP.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2022): I agree with Anon 23 Jan. this is the onset of Alzheimer's disease. It is a brutal disease that start with bouts of anger and aggressiveness. It helps to keep this fact in mind all the time when dealing with her anger bouts so to avoid retaliation. You need all the patience in the world. With my sympathies.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2022): This is more likely to be altzhemiers than dementia. Dementia is when the confusion or memory are affected. Change of character, violence etc tend to be with altzheimers.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 January 2022):
 I have to agree with YCNBS,
She might not be in control of that anger. It's not uncommon that people with dementia have outbursts of anger. Some just forget where they are, and who people are, others are angry and scared.
I found this link and I hope it can help you.
https://www.verywellhealth.com/anger-and-aggression-in-dementia-4134488
I would say it's really best to not retaliate. That doesn't help the issue and can only really end badly for BOTH of you.
Talk to your doctor perhaps? See if she needs extra help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2022): This does sound very much like dementia to me. Visit your GP and tell him/her what's happening. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2022): Please get to the GP as soon as you can, sudden behaviour change can happen for many reasons - dementia included, particularly if she is recalling things from years ago.
There will be lots of support available,but please don't continue to suffer and visit the GP.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (22 January 2022):
 I'm sorry but, if this behaviour is out of character for her, this could be the start of dementia. You need to take your wife to the doctor for a check up and tell the doctor everything that has been happening.
Please try not to retaliate when she gets violent (I know it may be difficult). If this IS dementia, she doesn't know what she is doing.
Thinking of you.
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