A
female
age
30-35,
*riaz
writes:I was just screwed over by my former coworker/friendHe is a former coworker from my 2nd job that I helped get into my 1st job. When he got hired, he got a sign on bonus. And I get a referral bonus. He asked me to split my referral bonus with him. I said no because it's only fair I get to keep my referral bonus since he got a sign on bonus. But I offered to buy him food like I've done with my previous referrals. He then said he was going to split it with one of his new coworkers. So they get to split the money when they didn't do any of the work, and I get screwed over because I wouldn't split my well deserved referral bonus with him. I'm pretty pissed!What's worse is I may run into him later this week. My department is helping with a go live in his department. What do I do if see him? I don't want to see him.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 January 2022):
 Be glad he is avoiding you, then YOU don't have to do so.
Just take this as a lesson :) Some people are arseholes. This guy certainly is.
Shake it off. No point in wasting any more thoughts and emotions on this loser.
You did a nice thing in encouraging and supporting someone looking for a job. YOU were nice and that is OK. HE is a shithead and that is on him. Don't own his crappy behavior, just ignore him from now on.
Chin up, OP
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (21 January 2022):
 Hold your head high, smile and keep it professional. Treat him like someone you don't know. Take the moral high ground and remember never to help him out again.
The universe sends us people to teach us lessons. Learn your lesson and move on. He is not a nice person.
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A
female
reader, priaz +, writes (21 January 2022):
priaz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I wouldn't say helped, but I encouraged him to apply and supported him throughout the process. But he wouldn't have applied if I hadn't encouraged him to do so. Idk if that changes things.
Fortunately we work in different departments now. I'm only in his dept to help with a go-live. I don't anticipate seeing him again after today.
I did see him yesterday, and he totally ignored and avoided me. Can't even face me after what he's done! ??
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 January 2022):
Oh, he is a petty Pete!
So you HELPED him get this job and he didn't put your name down for it?!
Yeah, that would be the LAST time I give that dude any help whatsoever.
Hopefully, he won't stay long OR you find a better job elsewhere.
At least now you know what kind of person he is. So at work just be professional, nothing more. He is no-one to you.
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A
female
reader, priaz +, writes (20 January 2022):
priaz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI asked HR. He didn't list anyone under referrals when he applied, so no one can get the bonus. So it works out. I didn't care about getting the money anymore, but I just didn't want him to get it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 January 2022):
I will echo Kenny,
"He say's he is splitting it with new co-workers, but is he really?. Is he just saying this to make you feel bad in the hope that you will give in and split your money?."
Yeah, I think he is bullshitting about that, but even if he is not WHO CARES? You earned the referral bonus, it's yours. It's absolutely OK to say no to sharing and that is that.
You will see him at work because you now helped him get a job at your place. So BE professional but keep your distance.
You know he is all about trying to get money from everyone but you also know you OWE him nothing.
Just do your job and "drop" him as a friend. He is now JUST a coworker, nothing more.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (20 January 2022):
 All you can do if you see him is put what happened to the back of your mind, be a professional as you can be and concentrate on the job at hand.
Yes it was a strange request asking you to split your referral bonus, that's your earned money for you to do what you want to do with, you should not feel guilt about keeping it, its not like it was for charity or something.
He say's he is splitting it with new co-workers, but is he really?. Is he just saying this to make you feel bad in the hope that you will give in and split your money?.
He sounds like an odd ball to me, the world is full of them. Like i said, if you see him just be as professional as you can be, and don't engage him in any conversation that is not work related, or of a financial nature.
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