After asking me to leave and uprooting my life, now b/f wants me to come back!
Q. hello, Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over two years. Recently he asked me to leave because he needed time to think about what he wanted. He has asked me to leave and come back various times in the past aswell. But this time i ...
A. 25 July 2012: Did you say the right thing? Partially yes. You are correct to say that you will not move back in with him. You are not correct to ask him to move back to your new flat. You need to find another BF. Move on. You need to make investments in ... (read in full...)
I'm getting married, but I'm not sure how to handle some aspects.
Q. I know that this might be a little bit off topic but planning my wedding and have a few questions for you all: - how should i involve my stepdad- i lived with him and my mum growing up and went to my dads at weekends and holidays so he has been as ...
A. 8 October 2011: 1. How thoughtful of you! These are important decisions in terms of Dad and Step Dad that could have life-liong consequences. Make sure you include them both in some way. However: Make sure your biological Dad walks you down the aisle and first ... (read in full...)
Almost 25 year old guy.... never ever had a girlfriend.
Q. I'm turning 25 in a couple of months and have finished university, seeking a career in the business/IT consulting field. Never had a girlfriend in my entire life, no girl has ever been interested in me and have come up empty all the time. To be ...
A. 5 July 2011: Truth of the matter is that by 17, you can tell if you're a guy who gets laid (one of the very few), or a guy just wants to get laid (all the rest). Girls decide. I have never had a problem getting women to go home with me (or me to theior place). ... (read in full...)
Getting over my ex 11 years later?
Q. I have been married to my current husband for almost nine years. We are a very happy couple, always together. We both have a child from a previous marriage. The problem is, that I still to this day cannot fully get over my ex. Is it because ...
A. 25 October 2010: Relax! It's perfectly NORMAL to have those longings for your ex. When you have loved someone, and particularly if you had a child with that person, there is a bond there that will not go away. Why should it? (It's also nice for your kid to know ... (read in full...)
I am stuggling to cope with my wife's close friendship with another man, what is going on between them?
Q. Help, For the last 3 years, my wife has had a male friend, and I just don't trust his intentions are just friends with my spouse. I have discussed this with my wife repeated times, to no resolution. She promises me that there relationship is just ...
A. 26 June 2010: Are you serious? She feels apathy towards you. She's not even thinking about you. Approaching her with these questions will result in a blank stare from her. She doesn't even think about you and your relationship anymore. SHe's thinking about ... (read in full...)
My husband says he isn't in love with me and it's tearing me apart!
Q. I don't know where to turn. My husband and I have been together for 9 years, and we have 3 kids(one is my teenage daughter from a previous relationship). We have a comfortable lifestyle and a nice home. We both have good jobs we enjoy, and I am so ...
A. 23 June 2010: Call his bluff. This guy is emotionally abusing you. He is getting off on making you sad and anxious -- that he has the power to inflict this pyscho abuse on someone. It's a form of entertainment for him. Tell him (convincingly and with ... (read in full...)
Married but lonely
Q. I have been married for 28 years and have definitely grown apart from my husband. He has been an OK husband and OK father of our two grown kids. Our kids have left for college in the past two years. I had a great relationship with both kids and I am ...
A. 23 June 2010: It is your active choice to be happy, or not. It is not uncommon at all for couples to get divorced, particularly after the kids leave for college. Celebrate that you had an "OK" husband/father in life -- most can't say that much. Celebrate that ... (read in full...)
Jealous boyfriend won't connect with my son!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and he just doesn't get me at all. I met him through my ex and it was great at 1st. I moved in with him after 5 months and left my home town and my children with their dad as there was access ...
A. 16 June 2010: Are you crazy for subjecting your child(s) to this situation?! Sorry, Toots, I have no sympathy for you -- when you make babies, you are not number one anymore -- your children should and must be number 1. It is your responsibility to make sure ... (read in full...)
Am I going to fantasize and obsess over my ex forever?
Q. Dear Cupid, This is the third time I'm writing about the same relationship and I've gotten great advise in the past. i have been advised to leave the unhealthy,make up- break up relationship and i have been broken up with her now for a year. I'...
A. 13 June 2010: There are some relationships that stay under our skin. Time heals, particularly if you find someone new. That said, I still yearn at times for my high school sweetheart, the time, the intensity of new love/sex. However, the pain that you ... (read in full...)
I am stuggling to cope with my wife's close friendship with another man, what is going on between them?
Q. Help, For the last 3 years, my wife has had a male friend, and I just don't trust his intentions are just friends with my spouse. I have discussed this with my wife repeated times, to no resolution. She promises me that there relationship is just ...
A. 12 June 2010: You know one day she's going to say, "Oh, honey, I'm sorry... boo hoo ... we didn't mean to do it ... boo hoo ... we had a couple of drinks ... boo hooo .... and it just happened ... boo hooo.... it will never happen again ... booo - hoooo." ... (read in full...)
20 years old and think I have ED!
Q. Hello. I'm 20, and I think I have erectile dysfunction. I've had a low sex drive recently. Usually my desire for sex is very high, and whenever I go without sex for long periods it only increases. Recently I've gotten into a relationship wit...
A. 15 August 2009: Foreplay is the key -- take it slowly, and get aroused. You're not a machine. Relax. If problem continues after taking sage advice, see a medical doctor for hormone test. ... (read in full...)
Separated from husband because I cheated... should I visit him when I'm next in his area?
Q. Dear All, I have separated from my husband six months ago. And we are living in different cities. I am going to the city where he lives next week. I still have feelings for him. But I have hurt him very badly in the past. I have a lot of guilt reg...
A. 15 August 2009: Leave him alone. BTW, You didn't stop the affair: You were dumped. ... (read in full...)
I want her to realise that what she is doing is hurting me!
Q. My girlfriend and I are now on our third month, and was going strong until around the last weeks of June I'm having doubts with our relationship and started fighting her about why she still goes out with her ex who gave her so much pain and so much ...
A. 20 July 2009: This sounds like an unhealthy relationship for you. She is using you as a crutch to try to adjust, but, as I think you already know, painfully, she is still sleeping with this guy, and she is still in love with him. Cut your losses and move on. ... (read in full...)
Should I contact his new girlfriend and tell her what he is doing?
Q. Dear Cupid, My ex has recently started to text me again, he was been makin small conversation at first, then he asked was i still with my new boyfriend, Even though i said yes, he asked me to come over to his cause he had a free house only to 'h...
A. 20 July 2009: Mind your own business, and don't get involved with this potential drama. Stay out of it. And tell him not to text you again, that you are positively not interested in seeing him or hearing from him. Wish him luck, and don't respond to any more ... (read in full...)
Should I just call him and ask about her?
Q. My ex and I have had contact again for one month mostly on the phone. We saw each other twice and were intimate. the last time 3 days ago and have not heard from him since then My question is this. I know he goes out w/ friends and is dating. But ...
A. 19 July 2009: Yes -- it was a most certainly a booty call. And the next one will be a booty call, too, unless you put a stop to it. You turned what could have been a good post-divorce relationship, from someone (your ex) who cares about you as a person, and ... (read in full...)
New baby, young mom and he gets to look single in our home!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together on and off for two years living together for about a year and a half more or less, we just had a son together in may and that brought new stress to our relationship. but in the meantime even after our son was ...
A. 19 July 2009: Ladies, ladies, ladies.... To wit. I submit this question is a glaring example of a path to poverty, misery, lonliness, alcoholism, disappointment, and, perhaps, drug abuse. Young, ignorant, immature, dysfunctional..... and... best of all (!)... ... (read in full...)
I'm so disgusted with him that I don't want him to touch me!
Q. I have been with a guy for nine years. we just had a house fire and my grandpa died. But hes more worried about himself so i told him to move out. He moved out than I find out from his best friends girlfriend that he slept with another women a ...
A. 19 July 2009: Of course he would be worried about himself - his house burned down. As horrific and terrible the loss of your grandfather is, as the man of the house, he likely felt the responsibility also to rebuild -- shelter is a basic human need. Sounds like ... (read in full...)
Help...I'm torn between two guys.
Q. ive been with my bf for 5 months now and my first love has been in touch! he says he loves me and wants me back says we were always the perfect couple i do still really love him so i just dont know what to do weve got so much history and were more ...
A. 18 July 2009: A few things. People are in your past for a reason. You say you have a history with your old BF. Not sure if this is the case, but women have a tendancy to be attracted to guys who treat them like shit, and in turn treat guys who treat them well, ... (read in full...)
Should I just call him and ask about her?
Q. My ex and I have had contact again for one month mostly on the phone. We saw each other twice and were intimate. the last time 3 days ago and have not heard from him since then My question is this. I know he goes out w/ friends and is dating. But ...
A. 18 July 2009: You're his booty call. Plain 'n simple. Want to be used? He's your guy. Kick him to the curb, is my sage advice, and don't let him sleep with you again. You will not move on with your life, and you will not be happy, if you allow this ... (read in full...)
Should I let my parents in on this relationship to help me see him?
Q. For over a year, me and this guy have tryed to have a relationship but it hasnt worked out. He lives in a different town then me and only comes out here with his best friend,which is my best friends boyfriend,and so on. We really like eachother and ...
A. 18 July 2009: Yes, be honest with your family, and let them know that you would like their help. I remember when I was about your age, I had a girlfriend I met a high school dance who lived in the town next to me. My Mom or Dad had to drive me to her house for ... (read in full...)
Don't want to screw the friendship up but should I tell the online girl that I love her?
Q. okay so met this girl Online shes 16 gonna turn 17 in a couple of days and im already 17 ne who we have been talking for little over a year now and have become real close friends. And I have fallen in love with her... she lives in minnesota and i ...
A. 18 July 2009: I think you need to spend more time with a girl/woman, in person, than spending so much time online. However, feelings are feelings. I think it's very fair game to acknowledge to her that it might sound silly, but that you think that you have ... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love with my bestfriends husband!
Q. Hey. I have a real problem. I think I am falling in love with my best friends husband. I have known my best friend, lets call her Sarah, for 17 years. She has been with her husband for 4 years and has been married for 5 weeks. When they came back ...
A. 18 July 2009: Good for you for admitting that this a problem, a big problem. It's hard to admit that. Yes, I think you already know it: that you need to get your own life, own husband (assuming you're not married). Having these yearnings (...probably the ... (read in full...)
Cheating wife and I don't think I can forgive her!
Q. just found out my wife has done something with another man,she said they havent had sex but only done it the once,we been together 20years,dont think i can forgive her,she says shes sorry and wants us to start again, she said it was because she was ...
A. 23 June 2009: More info would help -- what did she do? with who? a buddy of your's? Stranger? How'd you find out? Did she tell you? Was she out with friends at a bar? business trip? plumber?... (read in full...)
Should I call him? #100
Q. I am 30 and just broke up with my bf 5 days ago. We've had several arguments over the 5 months of our relationship and this time, it seemed like we both had enough of arguying and he decided it was best for him to go. He loves me but because we have ...
A. 7 June 2009: Don't contact him. You'll start the grieving process all over again. You ended it maturely. Ending relationships is hard. Don't prolong it. Sounds like you both made the right decision, and you feel pain for a while, less intensely over time. ... (read in full...)
When I drink, I hit him!
Q. hi i really need help with a problem ,,, me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years ,im 20 hes 25, we have a 10 month old son,, things are usually great between us,,, until we drink ,, its not him really,, mainly when i drink vodka,, i hit ...
A. 7 June 2009: Good for you. You first need to take care of yourself, more than just 12 hours, and stop drinking, if not for you, for your son. You're both alcholics. Treatment is best to help you stop. You're an angry drunk. Your husband is a stupid drunk. ... (read in full...)
I think I need to break up with him for awhile
Q. I need help. I'm so confused that I don't know what to do. I've been with my boyfriend for about three years, we've been through the mill and back. Lately...I just haven't been feeling him. I respect him very much, he is a really good guy, but I ...
A. 7 June 2009: I think he might break up with you, frankly. Lighten up and enjoy life. However, you may not be that into him if you don't like him being playful with you? Only you can answer that question. It's normal to have doubts, and no one person really ... (read in full...)
Need some help picking a pill
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months and have both been tested for STDs recently (negative tests). We have been using condoms, but I want to try a different method of birth control and was thinking of going on the pill. I was on ...
A. 7 June 2009: You need to be asking your medical doctor these questions, not a bunch of anonymous dopes with no (...or likely no) medical training. Talk to your doctor.... (read in full...)
Is he really just against LDR, or is he not into me?
Q. I know this is long, but I really need your help! :) A little back story: So I recently asked my "boyfriend" whether he would consider us to be dating or not. He said not really since school ends in 2 weeks and we won't see each other for 4 months...
A. 7 June 2009: Well, at least you found an honest guy, or a really dumb guy, or a realy dumb, honest guy (likely the latter;). He's really not that into you, however. So don't sleep with him! Clearly the response should be that, of course he wants to continue ... (read in full...)
Her Boss, her lover, it ended, it started and now it's ended.. advice please!!
Q. My ex girlfriend have split now for over 5 months and I'm still finding it very difficult to move on. We were together for 3 and a half years and most of the time it really was the best time of our lives. We never argued, we laughed all the time at ...
A. 15 May 2009: I'm really sorry, Sweetheart. She broke your heart. Now, be mature, lick your wounds, don't retaliate personnally or professionally (...that would be horrible on SO many levels), mourn, then move on. Sounds like it was a very good thing, and it ... (read in full...)
Now that he's no longer my teacher should I tell him how I feel?
Q. I want to make this short because I have final exams to study for. In June of 2008, my high school closed down. I September I transfered to another school. I was in love with my history teacher, and to this day I still am. I plan on inviting him to ...
A. 15 May 2009: You lost your connection with your BF because you have been having an emotional affair (not a physical one) with your teacher; concentrating on this older man instead of your BF. Do not invite your teacher to your graduation party, but, if you ... (read in full...)
How do guys show that they fancy gals?
Q. Hi - I recently asked a question about how to slip hints to the guy I like without it being outright flirting...if anyone has anymore ideas please do tell! But when I saw this guy last (we see each other at a sports club) a few times after I pl...
A. 10 May 2009: You're a little too young for him now. There's a difference between 16 (girl) and 19 (man). Find a guy 16 or 17. That's not what you want to hear, but that's good advice. When you're 19, it might not be as a big an issue as it is now, but you ... (read in full...)
Hugh, Dan, and Ben. What should I do?
Q. I went out with Dan from January to March 2009. During this time, Ben tried to rape me. Ben and Dan are friends. When I reported it to the police, Dan ended it. A week afterwards I met Dan's and Ben's friend Hugh. Hugh and me hit it off straight ...
A. 10 May 2009: Let's see. Dan dumped you. And Hugh's dumped you. Apparently Hugh will change his mind. It's not apparent to me. What should you do? In terms of what? Dinner reservations? The swine flu? What movie to rent? What should you do in terms of ... (read in full...)
Torn between current boyfriend and ex..break up now? break up later?
Q. I've been in a relationship for 2 years and I'm planning to break up because I'm not really happy and fulfilled with him. Before him, I was with another guy, in another country and another continent. We lasted for 2 months in a long distance ...
A. 3 May 2009: You make this much more complicated than it has to be.
1. Focus on your exams. That will have much more of an impact on your life than Joe, Harry, and Francois, or whomever you're dating or thinking about dating now.
2. Dump the current BF. ... (read in full...)
I asked my b/f to marry me and he said "I don't know"
Q. i feel as though i may have made the worst mistake in my life. i have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year and i have never felt the way i do with him with anyone else and i have a ton of exboyfriends. i asked him to marry be because i ...
A. 29 March 2009: You are far too young to even think about marriage! Only uneducated doo-dahs destined for a life of poverty and misery, with rare exceptions, get married before age 21 today. You change so much from 20 to 30. Let yourself grow, experience new ... (read in full...)
He thinks my body BELONGS to him!!!!
Q. My boyfriend of 4 months says I'm his... therefore so is my body, supposedly we love each other. He says he does, his hands are always all over me, alone or not! Once we are in a private place and he wouldn't stop! I don't mind that but I do mind ...
A. 7 March 2009: .......and why are you with this guy? Still?... (read in full...)
I think my little brother is gay!
Q. I think my little brother is gay. For some time, I think I was subconsciously worried about this ever since I saw him listen to Britney Spears songs on my ipod. I'm not saying that's an automatic signal for homosexuality, but my reaction to that ...
A. 7 March 2009: Don't embarrass him. It's private; and you're invading his privacy. Send him messages (not over the top, and not in your face), that you think he is a great guy, and that you always be there for him, and that you love him (dont; say no matter ... (read in full...)
Neighbour trouble!
Q. My neighbour is 10 years younger than me and I fancy her like mad. We are both married with kids. I told her how I felt last week and we have chatted since. She was surprised but didn't turn me down, I'd say she is shocked and confused. I cannot g...
A. 7 March 2009: I could not think of a more apt title for your question: Neighbour trouble. (Emphasis on last word.) You are on a path to ruin your marriage, if it weren't already. You may want to consider moving out of the neighbourhood. You're headed for ... (read in full...)
Why wasn't he willing to change for me?
Q. i broke up with my bf. we were only together for 2 months. but i had (and still have) really strong feelings for him. basically, even though i loved him as a person (and he was so perfect: funny, attractive, clever, caring..), i broke up with h...
A. 7 March 2009: I think you made the right call: Sounds like you were his bootie call, and you probably sensed it, that's why you kicked him to the curb. Good decision. Move on.... (read in full...)
Why is it more of a turn on if the girl swallows?
Q. I supose this is a question for the guys/men - Why is it better for a girl to swallow? I was told its very sexy and if the girl that does that for you is amazing. Why? Is it sort of an 'acceptance' thing? And if she spits, is it a 're...
A. 7 March 2009: I think you hit it right on the "head," pun intended.... (read in full...)
So if I start to like normal weight guys, does that make me shallow?
Q. Hi, this might be a bit confusing, but I'll explain it to the best of my ability: I've always been a petite girl. I'm 19 and I am 5'5" and 110 lbs and I used to be what people call a "chubby chaser". During my teenage years, I only ever dated bigger ...
A. 7 March 2009: You like what you like. Make no apologies. If you're likes or types of men are changing, that's fine, too. Guys are easy, simple. You just have to say with a smile, 'hi, what's your name?" and flip your hair a bit. Ask them if they want to meet ... (read in full...)
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