A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, this might be a bit confusing, but I'll explain it to the best of my ability: I've always been a petite girl. I'm 19 and I am 5'5" and 110 lbs and I used to be what people call a "chubby chaser". During my teenage years, I only ever dated bigger guys; I even lost my virginity to an overweight guy (he was 6'3" and 260 lbs at the time). I always thought that my interest in bigger guys had to do with the fact that I was not overweight and I just loved feeling protected by their "vastness". I know that sounds weird and perhaps, "fetishy", but that's how I always interpreted it and well, to be quite honest, I thought muscles were absolutely disgusting. I also thought that any guy with muscles would be a future wife-beater and/or they always ended up being extremely popular - at least, in my life-experience of attending public school. And being that I was never a very popular girl before college, I kept myself to, well, myself.All of those are the reasons I ended up surrounding myself with bigger guys and now most of my guy friends are, in fact, overweight. I do love all my guy friends as actual friends; they joke around with me, protect me, and some even treat me like I'm their little sister. I really wouldn't trade any of them for muscular and more fit types ever! But I am starting to notice more average-built guys and I just want to know how I can pursue them. I also want to know if I'm being shallow now that I am noticing these "smaller" guys...?
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lost my virginity, muscle, overweight, petite Reply to this Question
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female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (7 March 2009):
 You are young. You are currently "exploring" different options in your life. That sounds OK to me. Different people go through different process in their "life discovery" journeys.
While I was reading your story, I was actually thinking along the line of the evolution theory: survival of the fittest. First you liked big guys because you felt "protected" by them. Now you like normal-weight guys, probably sub-conciously your mind now is telling you "yeah! prime candidate for my procreation partner!" LOL. And if continue down this path, maybe in your senior years, you will be looking at smaller or slim senior men, because your mind will be saying "well, if I need to help him physically, at least I can help carry him" LOL
No, seriously and joking aside, you are not shallow. When you find your man that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you will see that it is not all about the phyiscality of the person that you fell in love with. [Although, by the same token of evolution theory, healthy people reflects healthy living thus longer time spent together on this earth]
Have fun dating! Just don't forget that these men also have feelings.
Cat
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009): I am 5"4 and I have always liked bigger guys as well.A guy of 6"1 is my dream guy.Unfortunately I never met him.:(.So don't worry.you are normal.Go for who ever you like.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009): Go for it! Just remember that you can't judge a book by its cover. Try the more average guys, but I have personally found out that average or thinner guys have this additude about them, not all of them. But they can even be more superficial than you would think..... KL
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A
male
reader, Ted-ster +, writes (7 March 2009):
You like what you like. Make no apologies. If you're likes or types of men are changing, that's fine, too. Guys are easy, simple. You just have to say with a smile, 'hi, what's your name?" and flip your hair a bit. Ask them if they want to meet for coffee or a beer. Most guys would be flattered, and likely take you up on it. Again, guys are easy. :) Enjoy dating, whomever you want to date.
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