A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I'm 20, and I think I have erectile dysfunction.I've had a low sex drive recently. Usually my desire for sex is very high, and whenever I go without sex for long periods it only increases. Recently I've gotten into a relationship with someone. We have had sex together, but it wasn't all that enjoyable due to the circumstances around it (crowded house, on the floor, no lights), but I'm starting to get quite worried about it. I want to have sex with her, but my body just seems to shut down when the opportunity comes along. Also, I'm starting to find myself become less aroused through the day than normal.What is causing my low sex drive? It's the summer holidays and I am feeling pretty relaxed about everything at the moments, with the exception to my parents who are going through a bit of a rough patch. I'm worried they will split up... could that be the reason? Stress?I feel like I'm too young to be going through this. Am I over reacting or do I have to see a doctor? This is only causing me more stress. What am I going to tell my girlfriend? Please help me, I'm very scared!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): Anything that stresses the mind or the body causes it. Drugs, health problems, worry. Say to her "Awh, I'm not pleasing you, I feel bad. It's one thing I like to do for you in bed." She'll think, awh, he's like that for me, because you communicated it. She will try to help you out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've been to a doctor regarding my problem. She concluded that my problems have been brought on by psychological issues regarding my current relationship. So, I'm glad to have found that my problems are not physical, but how do I get past my psychological problems? She suggested a book on mental health which I have ordered on Amazon. Does anyone have any other suggestions?
Thanks very much for your help in what has been a very stressful situation! (additional thanks to Mr Advisor, and Starfish for there added advice. I appreciate it guys!)
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): ...if you are able to masturbate then good news...its in your head rather than lower down as a problem....try to stop masturbating for a bit, so your body can rest the important bits ... and follow the advice below.
there is no rush its a marathon - not a sprint so take your time... and enjoy (ok a sprint sometimes.... ;) )
Star.x.
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A
male
reader, Mr. Adviser  +, writes (16 August 2009):
 Sex drive collapse is a pretty good indicator of either a chemical or hormonal imbalance. You may masterbate successfully, but when you do is it hard enough to penetrate if she was there? Masterbation is quite a bit different then sex though. If it is the stress it may not come with masterbation because of the fact it is much simpler to do. You should definitely talk to your doctor either way though.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIs it really that common? I find myself unable to become aroused through the day no matter how much I try. I really don't think foreplay will make much difference, because I always make an effort to have foreplay for a good length of time before attempting penetration.
I can still masturbate okay, so considering that, is it less likely that I have E.D? If it isn't that, then what's caused my sex drive to collapse?
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A
male
reader, Ted-ster +, writes (15 August 2009):
Foreplay is the key -- take it slowly, and get aroused. You're not a machine. Relax. If problem continues after taking sage advice, see a medical doctor for hormone test.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): This is common with guys for so many reasons and they tend to over-react about it. Who cares? It's not your fault. And your partner shouldn't care much about it either. She can wait or find her response is enough that things do work better. When a girl likes you, she likes you. Because you care for her, you are worried about it. Show her your worry.
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A
male
reader, Mr. Adviser +, writes (15 August 2009):
First off, relax. Out of personal experience with it once in a while, I have concluded stress and anxiety can be a root cause of a little power outage down here.Step 2- Don't panic. If you don't get lift off right away or suffer from some deflation, simply stop and engage in some foreplay. Once hard, your ready for take off.Step 3- Consult your physician. Tell him your problems, and let a trained expert give you his opinion. Many man suffer from low testosterone. This is easily fixed with either a)T patches, b)T-rub, or c)T pills. Only your doctor can help you decide whether your testosterone is a problem. The main thing is man, is you gotta calm down. No problem is solved by worrying. And be sure to let your girl in on whats going down. If shes any kind of reasonable woman, she will see theres a problem due to your body, and be sure to let her know she is not the cause of the problem._-Mr. Adviser
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): How are things in the morning? are they glorious? do you get hard at all? - if so, it suggests the mechanics are still functioning. if not go see a doc.
The good news is otherwise it is stress and stupidity and exhaustion and many other things....
so my advice:
1) stop masturbating
2) eat well - lots of vitamins (take vit pills)
3) sleep
4) when with gf - dont just go for shagging do everything else. slowly...
5) i said slowly....
6) stop worrying
7) Don't drink before hand (except maybe a tiny little bit for the nerves....
8) relax
mostly though stop thinking - savour her flesh and hos she feels, enjoy... and happy shagging.
Star.x.
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