A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with a guy for nine years. we just had a house fire and my grandpa died. But hes more worried about himself so i told him to move out. He moved out than I find out from his best friends girlfriend that he slept with another women a married women. I dont think i can ever trust him again hes say sorry but doesnt really have time to fix things he works nights i work days. I thought he was my soulmate. i saw him yesterday im so disgusted with him that i dont want him to touch me. i dont think i can move on from this what should i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Ted-ster +, writes (19 July 2009):
Of course he would be worried about himself - his house burned down. As horrific and terrible the loss of your grandfather is, as the man of the house, he likely felt the responsibility also to rebuild -- shelter is a basic human need. Sounds like you improperly projected your grief, loss, and shock mistakenly onto your husband. You don't toss out your "soul-mate". I think you have to do some soul searching, and that it is he that has to learn to trust YOU again, not the other way around. If you don't treat him well, and it sounds like you don't, someone else will (...and did). He's saying he's sorry -- it also sounds like you have a lot more to be sorry about, frankly. My sage advice is get on your knees and worship him. Or this just might have been an excuse, and that you have wanted him out long before th house burned down. Only you can figured that out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): If he thought that by getting him to move out the relationship was over as far as you were concerned, he probably didn't think he was doing anything wrong by you. The married woman is another matter.
Basic instincts going on here I suppose - he wanted sex so he went and had some.
That's the man's point of view, and I'll leave it to the ladies to tell you how you might move on or whatever.
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