A
female
age
36-40,
*raemills
writes:We just broke up a week ago. We are both 23 and he is my first boyfriend and I am his second girlfriend. We have been dating for 3 years and to the day we broke up we were still best friends and very civil to each other and still inlove. It was a mutual thing and happened because I realized overtime that I wanted to start planning life after college. And we have always had very similar values and ideas of what we want to do after college but he rarely said we or us when talking about it. I finally straight up asked him if he saw me in his future doing those things and he said he didn't know and that he wasn't ready for that commitment and wanted more time to be solo in his life before such a commitment. After that conversation we just both agreed that we had to break up because that information was out there now but we both said we still love and care for each other very much. He said he has been having a hard time and cant stop thinking about us and just every aspect of what is going on. He still wants to text me and call me but I told him that it hurts and that I need no contact for a while. I deleted him off my facebook too and told him that it was because I need more space but not too hurt him. Am I doing the right thing? In the back of my mind I'm hoping he will want to be back with me. Am I ruining my chances? Is it healthy to have that hope? Please give all the advice you can! Thanks.
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female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (13 July 2011):
 I don't see why it has to end just because you guys aren't ready to plan a future. Why can't you just enjoy being together now and let life take its course? If you are both miserable and didn't want to break up, why did you? Simply because he wasn't ready to commit to marriage? You're only in your twenties. There is so much time, and it's so early.
If you're both miserable, just get back together and enjoy each other IN THE PRESENT. Stop trying to nail your lives down and just let some things, like relationships, happen.
A
female
reader, misskat +, writes (13 July 2011):
Google baggage reclaim. It has been VERY useful to me since breaking up with my ex a few months ago. I think u did the right thing w no contact. Why should he use up your time? He would just give you false hope. I think this time off will help both of you see if you really want to. Be with each other. For now, I would work on myself and focus on activities that make me happy. Try it, you won't regret it!
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