A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I met this really cute guy a few weeks ago while we were both working at a Trade show in L.A. I thought he was cute, but also didn't think he'd go for me. He ended up asking me out and our first date was super fun. He was constantly posting things on my Facebook, texting me. For all intent and purpose, he seemed into me. We went on our second date and I slept with him. (I know, I know, but I'm not here to argue the morals) He said he really liked me and told me I was "amazing" and "gorgeous". I blushed when he'd stare at me for a minutes on end. He invited me to a few things that I never was able to go to (our mutual friend's bday party, 4th of July party) events in which I would be around HIS friends. We hooked up once more and I decided to ask him what he wanted in all of this (I dunno where he and I stand...does he see me as just a F*** buddy or something?! Although I know I didn't help...)He said he didn't want to jump into anything because hes made stupid mistakes in the past that way, but that he wants to get to know me and that he would like to see "where this goes". Then he didn't really talk to me for a week.Its weird because when we're together...its like we've known each other forever. We're always laughing and have great times together.I'm supposed to hang out with him real soon. He wants me to be his "+1" for his coworkers party soon. Sorry its so long winded, its just that this has been pestering me...how do I ask him (again) how he sees me without scaring him off? What do you guys think? Any advice is appreciated :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2011): Thanks for all the replies guys! I really appreciate your insight. And I think you're right Rescuer & Strontiumdog...its best just to go with the flow rather than stress. After all, whenever we had a great time, it was because I wasn't really thinking about things too much & he seemed to like that.
I think when it comes to this (and many things) its best just to be myself, and let what will happen, happen.
A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (9 July 2011):
i wouldnt ask him he has already said he doesnt want a relationship as such carry on being his friend and see if it develops into something more it does happen also he may just see you as a sex buddy i am in the same situation with a man i met 4 months ago im just sleeping with him and hanging out with him to see what develops good luck
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (9 July 2011):
 It kind of seems like he already told you:
He doesn't want to rush into a relationship, but he does want to get to know you and keep hanging out with you.
What I would do in this situation is keep hanging out with him, keep getting closer, and ease into the relationship like he seems willing to do. This guy obviously likes you, but even if he is a nice guy, if you present yourself as bang buddy, he will treat you that way, whether he intended to or not.
So, I'd stop the sex until you're actually in a relationship and start getting to know each other so you can see if you even want to be together. According to what you said his answer was, that's what he wants, and it's a pretty good deal.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2011): He's playing games with you, using to for his needs both sexually and socially without having to commit to you.
I've dated men like thsi in the past, each one turned out to be a womanizer with only his self needs in mind.
Run away as far as possible and let him find another +1 to massage his ego infront of his pals.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2011): Stop sleeping with him if you want something to happen. Why would he want you for a gf when he is already sleeping with you. Have some respect for yourself, so he can have some respect for you.
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (9 July 2011):
I wouldn't ask again but I also wouldn't sleep with him again for a bit. It seems like you want more than just FWB.. So just go on a few more dates and get to know each other again and then ask again before sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2011): He told you how he feels. He doesn't want a committed relationship right now. I can see why your having trouble though, because although that's what he's saying...he's treating you like a girlfriend. He may even be put off that you'd have sex on the 2nd date. Personally, I wouldn't ask, and just kinda go with it if he seems like a nice guy that you see a committed relationship with in the future. It wouldn't seem like he's looking around or sleeping with anyone else...but then again, you never know. Best of luck!~
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