A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: There's this guy. I like him and we hooked up when we were drunk. Instead of us becoming awkward though, we started talking more and got to know each other. I've told him before that I think he was a "player" but after a lengthy discussion, I took it back and said he was a flirt. He agreed. But he said he knew when to draw the line and that even though he flirts with girls, it was just that (He said that if he ever got into a relationship, it'd be a serious one).Anyway, he and I are close. But he still confuses me. He says he doesn't date, but he tries to initiate dates. He says he doesn't believe in love, he tells me he thinks he's in love with me but plays it off as a joke. He flirts with me but retracts it and claims he was kidding. WTF. What's his deal? He acts like he likes me but I don't know. He's scared of relationships and so am I. What do I do? Does he like me? Or am I getting "played"?Oh and, one time, he was exploring the possibility of having a "friend with benefits" and hinted to that person being me. But I played dumb even when he turned it into an "open relationship". And after that subject was closed, he said that he would have wanted that person to be me but I was too smart. He's afraid of commitment, obviously. I really like him though, despite that. And I'm okay with an unofficial thing since I'm afraid of relationships.
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female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (27 July 2011):
It seems like you're handling yourslef well.
Keep avoiding anything like a friends with benefits situation. I suppose casual dating would be all right, but even that is setting yourself up for pain because he'll be with other girls as well as you. DEFINITELY avoid sex in that situation. Not only is it physically dangerous, but it'll destroy you emotionally. Trust me, I've been in that situation. It's NOT worth it in the least.
If you're afraid of relationships, either keep this one very light, or keep it as flirty friends until you both are ready.
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