A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im a sixteen year old girl, and hes a few months younger than me. But he goes on like hes a lot older because of the company he keeps. And i know all his best friends as theyre my friends also. I was kinda with this guy for a few months, but we weren't officially together and i think i fell in love with him. and i thought he did actually like me too, but now, im not so sure :/ at the start of our relationship he was apparently making out with all these other girls and i wasn't happy so i told him we'd just be friends and i didnt hear from him for ages. we made up a month later and everything was good. He even invited me to a party with him, which made me think he liked me but I was unable to go. I snuck out and i met him one night and things got very heated and one thing led to another, and well, we slept together. i went on holidays the next day, and we text all day everyday. we were really close. And things happened that brought us even closer.but when i returned home, things changed. he got very jealous of me and my friend Adam's realationship and we argued a lot about it. one night i couldnt meet him after he finished work, and he got really annoyed. then i told him how i missed how we used to be and he asked me to sneak out and meet him, so i did. He said he wanted to fix things. we talked a while and then, again, things got very heated and we slept togeather. he asked me to give him a bj but i refused, many times. he told me he might get annoyed if i didnt do it and i said that i hated it when he huffed at me, but i wasnt gonna do it. he left me home and then went home himself. he text me and goes " what happened tonight ? " but i had fallen asleep so i text him back the next day and asked him what did he mean by that. and i got no reply. i then text him again that night to see what he meant, and again he didnt reply. i left him for a few days, and wasnt gonna get in touch for a few weeks, but him and my friend was in a car accident and were took to casualty. when i found out, of course, i had to text to make sure him and my friend was okay. And he didn't reply until the next day. And nothing was said about the bj incident.But then lastnight he rung me and wanted me to sneak out but I wouldn. Then his friend said something I said to the guy when I refused to do the bj, and made a comment about it. The guy laughed and goes "he's digging me a hole isn't he ? Sir I hate you, g'on shuttup " and I said "hmm I'm away, goodnight" and he asked was I upset at him so I Just repeated what I said and he goes text me what's wrong and I didn't bother, he then text me later to asked what I was at and I didn't reply. Does him discussing that with his friend mean he was just using me and doesn't care ? Or do you think I'm over reacting a little ? thankyou for taking the time to read that and possibly offer me some help :)
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female
reader, SweetSmoochy  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 it could mean he was using you. It could also mean he was being an immature guy. All people have to learn when to keep their mouths shut. Maybe he hasn't yet, but he certainly knows you're upset with him.
The thing that draws my attention is that he told the other guy about something you two DIDN'T do. He may have just been confused and needed to talk about it, and the other guy was the one who was being a jerk.
I think this is worth talking to him about. If you make it clear exactly what hurt you and talk out this problem, you might find that all of this was a misunderstanding.
If you feel, however, that you are done with this relationship, then by all means be done with it :)
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (22 July 2011):
 I know we don't like it, but guys tell guys everything. Until they become mature enough to realise how disrespectful it is.At his age he's still flexing his muscles, so to speak, as far as relationships and sex.He should not be pressuring you over a BJ.He lacks maturity when it comes to sex. He shouldn't be pressuring you to do anything you don't want.When he is more experienced he will know how to behave in a more gentlemanly way.You do like him, but you do not have to accomodate his 'please sneak out to see me' requests.If he wants to see you then ensure he makes time for you at a reasonable time. That he gives you an undertaking that what transpires between the two of you stays JUST between the two of you.At his age he possibly thinks it makes him look HOT to discuss what he's been getting into, with his male friends. That's male bravado. And showing off. Realistically I know guys his age do do this. It's not hot. It undermines the relationshipBut when he is more mature he'll keep it to himself.Try to not get hurt by this guy. Sexercise is not a relationship. Sexercise is casual sexercise. And until guys get social maturity they rarely enter into genuine relationships, but instead form casual associations, where they are able to obtain sexercise.And because they can always find girls willing to accomodte their desires these guys continue to seek out girls willing to sexercise with them.I always maintain that most (but not all) guys under 18 are primarily concerned with sexercise and not a relationship.When they have sexercised with every available willing girl, then around when they turn 18 they start to see girls as more than just a notch on their belt.As more than just a score on their bedpost.It is often best to hold back a little. Let the willing girls provide the Sexercise.Know what you want. Set boundaries and stick to those boundaries. Sneaking out late at night is crossing a boundary, and unacceptable.If he's willing to Man up, show you respect, not demand what you're not willing to give, and never discuss what's going on (with his male friends)in your sex lives. Then maybe he there is a chance for the two of you.Take it slowly.If he cant give you those guarantees, that he'll agree to protect you, respect you, then you need to assess what to do next. To ensure you can have a relationship worth having. But if he IS willing to respect you at every level then cherish him. Because that would make him as very extra specialHe may not always be perfect. And there may be times when he irritates you. But no guy is perfect all the time Talk to him. Tell him what bothers you. Tell him when he gives you joy or does well.And List AnonymousMale1 as a friend - that way you can read all the Fantastic Articles AnonymouseMale1 has written on relationships and men and women in relationships. I think you may find his articles illuminating
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A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (22 July 2011):
 I think you need to keep better company. Ditch the whole lot of them.
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