A
male
age
30-35,
*radleycook
writes:My ex and I got into a fight while we were still dating and I was mad and cheated on her. I felt horrible and told her about it the very next day. She was mad and we broke up. A few weeks later we got back together and I cheated again. This all happened a year ago. since then we have broken up and have not been together in since then. Last month she called me uo and we started hanging out and she said she wanted to get back together and I said yes BUT her parents and friedns hate me. No matter how hard I try to show them I changed and that I made a mistake and will never cheat again they wont belive me and are makign it horrible on her. how can i show them I will never hurt her again
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2011): If it really serious with her consider this.You hurt her very bad. All those people who hate you, saw that girl hurt and shattered. There is no shortway to build up that trust again with these people. The only thing you can do is hold out under that hate and always think what an incredibly lucky guy you are to have such a forgiving girlfriend. Oh and I take it for granted that you truly have changed, else leave her at once.I wish you good luck and a lot of endurance. You're gonna need it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2011): And you're surprised her family and friends hate you?
Leave this woman alone, she deserves better than someone who cheats on her TWICE.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2011): U cheated not once But twice! This is really big.
U cannot blame all the people for being worried and concerned about her. After all u destroyed her world not once but twice.
Talk is cheap. Its your actions and not mere words that will show that u have changed as a person. And that u did some growing up.
What happens next time u get mad at her again? Can u see a pattern emerging?
LoveGirl
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (27 July 2011):
Trust takes time to earn, and it is earned through actions not words. Talk is cheap, you can say you will never cheat on her again but it is only when you go through something difficult like you did before, and resolve it through a better way than cheating on her, that you will fully earn everyone's trust.
In the meantime, if you have the courage, you can tell her parents that you know they don't trust you because you cheated on their daughter and hurt her, but you want them to know that you have changed and you want to try and earn their trust and respect, as well as her trust and respect. You can ask that in the mean time can they support her in her decision to give you another chance, and help her to be happy in her relationship. It takes a lot of courage to admit your faults and make such a confession to her family and friends, but if you can show your vulnerability, honesty and humility like that, it will make a difference to everyone.
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A
male
reader, goalstopper  +, writes (27 July 2011):
Just leave. you learned your lesson and just move on. If she wants you back, you have to give her space and time. As long as you know, she may never want to see you again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2011): I don't know what she did to anger you, but being mad at someone seems a rather frivolous reason to cheat on them. Twice no less. Why should her friends and family think you've changed? What makes you think you have changed? Not being exposed to the triggers is not the same as handling those triggers differently.
The only way you can prove you won't cheat again is by not doing it. That takes time. There are no short cuts, no magic words or deeds that will accomplish that any sooner.
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (27 July 2011):
 Man. That's gotta be hard. Now hopefully you know that infidelity when you're angry only makes the problem worse. I'm kind of wondering why you're dating this girl if you've been able to cheat on her, repetitively in the past. Are you sure you want to be with her?
Well, at least she has people who love her and don't want to see her hurt. I would be much more worried if they weren't outraged.
Regardless of whether you have changed or not, You have seriously betrayed this girl on more than one occasion in the past. I have to wonder if she may have been abused as a child and now seeks out abusive situations. You may want to talk to her about getting some counseling or therapy for this.
The only thing I can think of to help her family, as well as this girl, trust you again is time. FAITHFUL time. Even then, it's touch and go. Most families only want to see their babies cry once. If the thing that made them cry comes back around, they are known to be very unforgiving.
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