A
female
age
30-35,
*hula90h9
writes:i love ma bf but i feel too insecure :( iM not as good looking as all the other girls. now a days the perfect girl has to be skinny and pretty im not skinny nor fat :( im in between :) well what can i do to not feel so insecure? :( my bf hates it that i feel this way he says he loves me like this but ive caught him looking at prettier girls :( what can i do?? we're supposed to be getting married but i dnt feel comfortable w/ him stareing at other females :( what can i do?also, 2yrs ago i had a son my baby daddy left me for another girl when my son was 1mnth old :( he got deported and has been gone ever since i have moved on and have a bf now we plan 2get married but my ex boyfriend recently got in touch w/me he says he wants to get bck 2gether and that he still loves me i love ma bf but i dnt knw what to do? please i need some advice.. ifeel as if im still in love w/ ma ex bf we were in a 2yr relationship and ma recent bf only 7mths and we're supposed 2get married :/ please give me some advice[Mod note: two questions from the same user combined.]
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female
reader, chula90h9 +, writes (13 July 2011):
chula90h9 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank yOu for Listening to me and giving me great advice this is more than wat i cn get frm any other adult in my family or school. thanks to both of you :) iLL thiNk about evrythng u guys said especially about the marriage. :) thank you
A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (13 July 2011):
 If your boyfriend says he loves you exactly the way you are, don't doubt it. In fact, ask him to tell you things he loves about you. If he asks you why, tell him it's because you want to see yourself as he sees you. think about the things he says and believe them. Does he love your laugh? Your eyes? You hair? How sweet you are? How funny you are? Your lovely curves? Ask him. It will make you feel wonderful. DON'T ask him angrily or when you're in a fight. Ask him in a tender moment, at a happy time.
One thing though. If you are having second thoughts about who to choose, your boyfriend or your ex, are you sure you want to commit to marry your boyfriend?
As for your ex, ask him what he wants. Does he want to be in the child's life? Ask him why he left. Demand these answers. If I were you, I'd stay away from him. He already abandoned you once, he's likely to do it again.
Talk to a parent, talk to an adult at school you trust. Don't try to handle all of this alone.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (13 July 2011):
Hi there. You say you are planning (or wanting) to get married, but it's not just yet is it?
If you are only 16 or 17 years old, there's plenty of time to think about settling down into a marriage.
Your only tie to the first boyfriend is the baby. Are you forgetting that he left you for someone else? It might be wise to remind yourself of this.
The first boyfriend could well be the type who gets bored easily. So even if you did get back together, you can't be sure he won't desert you again! You wouldn't want that for yourself, surely.
As far as feeling good about yourself is concerned, you just need to believe in yourself and accept yourself for who you are - unconditionally. Don't compare yourself to others. We are all different. But we are all equal. No one person is better than anyone else.
You are just as good as the next girl. We each have nice things about us.
One of the most attractive things about a woman - by all men - is a confident, intelligent, independent woman who knows who she is and what she wants out of life, and goes out and gets it. Has her own friends, interests, and her own life as well. These things are far more attractive to men than any pretty face or nice body.
We all have physically nice things about us that people find attractive, such as:-
(1) Our eyes
(2) Our smile
(3) Our voice
(4) Our laughter
(5) Our personality
(6) Our sense of humour
(7) Facial expressions
(8) How we walk
(9) How we talk
(10) How we express ourselves
(11) How we wear our hair
Then there's the other lovely qualities such as:-
(12) Kind gestures
(13) Generosity
(14) Sincerity
(15) Integrity
(16) Honesty
(17) Being considerate towards others
(18) Wisdom
There's so many things that are part of the whole package. The face and body is only a very small part of the big picture.
Don't underestimate yourself. You are already perfect - you just need to realize that yourself.
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