A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This question is mostly for men but women feel free to answer too.I was texting this guy now and again and then after 2 weeks we went on our first date. It went really well, and for the first 2days after he would text me all day. Ever since he will text me, ill reply and then he wont text back for 1-2 hours, but wont apologise or anything, he just carries on the conversation. BUT the texts are really nice, full of admiration, interest in what im doing etc.. Now i know people have lives and stuff to do, but why such the big gaps between texts?
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male
reader, Love-Wisely +, writes (15 November 2010):
 I think this super depends on what he is doing. Most of the jobs I worked, I have been unable to reply to text. Same thing with being in class. If he only gets a break every few hours, this is normal.
Then again, he might be trying to "play hard to get." Sometimes if we are newly dating, we feel the need to play down our feelings. (Why he didn't call you for 3-days after you gave the number.) We are usually just happy you text us even once! It's a chance to relax and enjoy the feeling of having the "text" ball in our court.
Eventually, you'll set an expectation about this - if the relationship develops. Everyone has different tastes about communication.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): Simple, lol
Men cannot multitask. The thing is, he probably got behind in his responsibilities: Work, studies, etc, and is trying to catch up with things. I speak for myself (idk if other men have the same), but once I am busy with something, and I text message a lot in between, I cant focus on what I am doing anymore. I believe women have this less and can easily multitask things. I suppose he is just focusing during that hour or two hours, and then when finished his mind is back to you and he carries on where he left of.
I understand that you might have a bit of jealousy of wanting his attention, but just let him be. Another tip is: Phone calls. If you call him directly he cannot wait :D
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): I hear ya. Like if he is going to txt to communicate with you at least be available to return the txt in a timely fashion and, I would like to add to that, with an actual purpose and point, such as "let's go out Friday night." Or "when can we see each other again." If he is just txting to make small talk I would be weary.
I personally don't like txting for that reason and many other reasons. It is really easy to misinterpret and miscommunicate what each is trying to say, especially when you are first meeting someone and getting to know them. It leaves all this space to take your time, dilly dally, and not get to the point (problems easily resolved with an actual phone call, when you are actually on the spot).
I personally think txting is kind of a cop out. Especially if you are using it as your only way of communicating. It is one thing if he is txting to finalize a date, a meeting spot, asking to chill with you. As long as it is combined with actual face to face or voice to voice interaction it is ok. But if it is his only means of communicating with you, if he uses it just to make small talk, that doesn't sound very promising. It sounds like he is using the txting as a way to buy himself time, for all you know, because he might be dating other girls so he uses the txt method as a way to keep you at a distance, at any rate not lose you altogether.
If you like this guy, I would tell him if he wants to date you to pick up the phone and call you. You are not all that into txting, tell him it hurts your fingers. It is too hard to keep track of txt after txt, especially when they are not leading to anything except you waiting hours for a reply ( a reply which I guarantee you are not even all that satisfied with anyways.) Tell him a little fib, say that your txts aren't working, if he wants to chat he needs to call. And that's that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): em all these people who wrote to you obvoiusly have issues and have been rejected, he knows ur into him right cause your txtin him, he's just playin games with you, as men do... either ask him what the hell is going on, or move on find someone who adores you. and whoever said there's no problem with him not writing back,is just in the same boat and tryin to convince themselves too that it's fine... well it's not!!! you deserve better!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): Be glad that he has a life outside of you. Its so irritating when all a guy has to live for is his current partner, because it then means he has NO life, NO personality. How boring would that be?
He has a life and that means that sometimes he doesnt respond instantly. He shouldnt have to apologise for having a life, you should be glad.
If he evidently is into you, then getting a late admirable reply is better than not getting a reply, or an instant inadmirable reply.
Be happy, it sucks but like the uncle said "JUST CALL INSTEAD OF TEXTING!!" if you want a convo thats carried.
xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): Texts are really distracting. I know a certain person whom I text on friendly terms. It so happens that he will reply the first one immediately and perhaps with a question. I reply sincerely and if I ask a question (like How did it go for you or which is the place you said you are visiting?)in return he may or may not reply to it. That annoys me a bit though I keep silent about it. It is at his disposal to text or not. I don't know why but men tend to do that.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 If you want instant communication then JUST CALL INSTEAD OF TEXTING!! Texting is like running up to somebodies house and ringing the doorbell, the occupant may not hear it, may be busy in the shower, listening to music or heaven forbid- may not be carrying their mobile around like its freakin' life support.
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A
female
reader, Viv Acious  +, writes (14 November 2010):
1- 2 hours? I thought you were going to say 1-2 days or weeks...LOL
Seeingstars is right. Just let him know that it bugs you. He probably is not aware at all.
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): If the texts are fine, apart from being few and far between, it may simply be the way he is. I have a friend who does exactly the same thing. He might not think anything of it, and may be unaware if it is bothering you. I guess you could ask him, if it is concerning you. Maybe you could ask if it is a bad time when you text, because you have noticed it takes him a while to reply, and see what he says. He may just not think it is a problem. If you'd prefer him to try and text sooner, see if you can express that to him. Otherwise, if it's not really bothering you too much, then I think it could simply be the way he is, and not necessarily anything to worry about.
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