A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Sight is a major part of good lovemaking. Look after your skin, use moisturisers, dont overdo the makeup, unless you are being a character in a little sexual scenario you are playing out together. Your hair must always be utterly clean. Who wants to bury their nose into a dirty greasy mop? The sight of your body is a big turn on for your partner. Dont hide it. That is why it helps to keep fit, go for walks together. Find time to swim together. Be physical together, other than when you make love. But sight is also what you wear. Track suits are not a turn on. If you see a sexy set of underwear buy it. If you see a sultry slutty bed outfit that you think may excite your partner buy it. If you know you and your partner will be the only ones home that night, then when your partner comes home greet him at the door wearing an apron. ONLY an apron. Dirty Talk is dealt with below. Some noise is a turn on. Soft, barely there, sexy music in the background is lovely. No vocals though. The only people you need to hear is you and your partner. Encouraging each other. Praising each other and urging each other on. Some sounds are naturally relaxing, like waves lapping outside. But there is some noise that's unwelcime. Do not leave a tv on during sex. You need to concentrate on each other. Some noise is unhelpful during sex. Turn the phone and all mobiles off. Too much noise outside like neighbors renovations can be offputting. If you are in the middle of sex and the neighbors knock on the door you dont have to answer the door (unless the neighbors are there to complain about the noise you are making!)Waste no opportunity both when making love and when you are not to show your appreciation in his presence and his physicality. If you dont desire your partner if must be a huge pressure when your partner wants to make love and you can't face it. I would ask myself if i was with the right partner if that happened. But first i would try to spice things up. . Allow your hand to languidly slide across his thigh while watching tv. Arch your back and push out your boobs in front of him. Allow your hips to slide against his as you pass in the hall. Don't be afraid to touch you, running your hands over your nipples in front of him. Go to the zoo and watch how animals behave when they are 'interested' in another. They pause near each other, they vocalise what they want. Touch will set you both on fire with passion, or it should, if all is well in your relationshipTaste is why you should give head and swallow, or give cunnilingus and lick it out. Sqeamish does not make for sensual good sex. Taste your man in his entirety. Taste is also why it's good to have some snacks on hand. Things that smell good.Good sex takes time. It takes a comfortable setting. All you need on hand so no one needs to break the flow to find something else you need. No interruptions. Spread over an extended period. Lots of trust. And many changes of pace. Such as stopping to read to each other from the Kama Sutra or from a book on how to give head. Or from a book of dirty words. Or an erotic passage from a book. Or a book on how to talk really dirty. Yes all these publications exist. Have on hand things to use on his skin to stroke him or you by him. And try many position variations. And different settings, on the rug in front of the fireplace in winter. If no one overlooks your home and you have a very private courtyard outside (and its warm enough outside late at night) then take a rug outside and make love under the stars in your garden or courtyard. But keep the noise down or you may upset the neighbors. A man likes to be surprised, and he likes to know he's wanted. Try making love up against the wall in the hall just inside the front door at home, even before he's had time to put his briefcase down. Be hungry for him. Let him know you want him. Go away for a weekend with him, somewhere picturesque and private. Take your time. Furtive rushed sex achieves very little except disappointment.Smell will attract your lover. Smell is a part of sex. That is why fellatio and cunnilingus are such essential parts of sex But a bad smell will have them spinning out the door 100 mph, The sheets or the rug on the floor should be spotless and clean and smell good. I think bed sheets should be changed no less than twice a week. New fresh smelling sheets on the bed feel and smell wonderful. The bathroom nearby should also be perfect, smell good, have plenty of towels and be utterly clean and tidy. Even a pretty pot of real flowers can improve the ambience in a bedroom. But most of all your own body and your hair, your nails, your feet, should be clean, feel clean and smell very clean. But you can add to it another way by having some nibbles that smell great. Men are often seriously hungry after sex. if you can think up items that suggest sex then do it. Cherries still with stems. Peeled grapes. Little boob shaped pink marshmallows (make at home) with a tiny pink nipple on each, small enough to pop into his mouth whole. Ice blocks in your drinks in naughty shapes, mini boobs, penis etc. Vegetable sticks that you have shaped at the top Spicy savoury meat balls on a stick. Little dim sims with a dipping sause. Have a little platter ready that can be heated up in seconds in the microwave. The smell will waft towards him. And you will have covered taste as well.Your skin may be your biggest organ But it is your mind that will help bring you the greatest pleasure and the best sex. Lose yourself in the love making. Use fantasy and assume different parts, even dress the part and assume the identity of whatever characters have excited your imaginations. So the dancing girl of the 7 veils is making love to the Pirate. Imagine you are spread eagled on the deck of the pirate ship. The waves are lapping at the side, its too far to swim to the nearby tropical island. Lose yourself in the moment and the scenario you choose will excite your imagination and improve your lovemaking. Abandon your insecurities. Stop worrying what your mother or other people will think of you. Of course i am assuming you are in a loving well thought out relationship where there is empathy, commonsense and real love. Which means any girl making love to man where the man is under the age of 19-20 should be more cautious. Immaturity can mean that younger men will give their drinking friends a blow by blow description of everything you did and said. And worse if your lover is under 16 he is likely to be so ignorant of all that he should do, and impatient and trigger happy to exercise his equipment that your lovemaking will be basic and boring. If the earth, sun and stars did not move for you during lovemaking it's likely your man is still ignorant of the right moves. Girls save yourself from sub-standard lovemaking until the boys have wasted their time on all the easy girlsForeplay is not just for the woman. Every man deserves good foreplay, not just the woman. Learn how to give the most amazing head. Massage him all over, kiss and lick him all over. Vary how, when and where you lick. Vary it from horizontal, vertical, up/down, spiral, down/up licking. Vary it from little flutter licks to long slurps, to tracing down limbs and appendages. The face, neck, shoulders, chest, back, arms, tummy, legs, hands, feet - and yet avoid his penis and balls and nipples and lips for the next course of foreplay. Men should do the same, give attention to every area first, except her lips, nipples, clitoris, pubic area and vagina as the second course. It builds the sexual tension. Learn to love, enjoy and tolerate and dispense very long and passionate tongue kisses. Never put up with a lover who accepts foreplay, but only gives cursory poor foreplay in return. Question the commitment if one half of the couple consistently refuses to give foreplay. If you adore your partner and truly desire your partner then you will want every last second of foreplay with your partner. Men who are smart will return the favor and use their tongue, lips, gentle with the teeth, their fingers and their skin to work on every part of the woman in myriads of way, before the penis enters the woman. Good finger work on the woman is a major skill that many men need to work on, and improve. The aim should be to play the lips, vagina and clitoris like a conductor of an orchestra, with fingers, tongue, lips, and little kisses and even blowing gentle little breaths on to all the parts, to excite the woman to new heights. All men need to develop fabulous sensitive skills at giving superb cunnilingus, with major gentle sensitive attention to the clitoris. Good foreplay should continue until the woman is aroused and agitated enough to plead and demand that she be entered, Now. However another great alternative is to prearrange with your man, that he not give in to your pleading to be entered until at least another 15 to 20 minutes more of foreplay has been played out, beyond the earlier 30 to 60 minutes of foreplay. . More essential than any part of sex. Depending on her libido and depth of desire at the time, a woman may even ask, occasionally, for foreplay to be delayed until she has been f*****. That only works if the woman is highly aroused in the first place. But as a rare treat men love this option. But lots foreplay early is best. Talking Dirty is often forgotten. But it has rules. The words belong in the bedroom. They are not used outside the bedroom. And they are all about sexual and sensual loving, designed to fire up passion during the lovemaking. It is not a green light to use the words outside of the lovemaking. Some girls think dirty talk is ''not them'', but they miss out on amazing sex due to their inhibitions. Drop your inhibitions. Talk with desire and passion in your voice. Your man likes you being a lady in public. But when you plead with your man to 'drive your hot cock into me, i want to feel your dick, fuck me', and writhe beneath him as you say it. And mean it. Your man will respond with corresponding ardour. Look up alternative dirty words for all your parts, his parts and all you do. Get him to talk back dirty, unleash the sexual man in your partner. Believe me you will have your man's attention. He will make the rockets at Cape Carnaveral look like fire crackers. A man loves to know that what he is doing is turning you on, and pleasing you passionately. Forget candles. They might catch fire when the covers get thrown back. If you really want to spice things up use the five senses plus your mind and extensive and varied foreplay with dirty talk. Sight, Touch, Taste, Hearing, Smell, your mind and let's not forget Foreplay and talking dirtyThese are your keys to amazing wonderful sex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2011): Interesting.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Claraw1
what a lovely five ***** answer to this article.
I love such nice feedback. Thank you.
Glad you enjoyed it. I like your posts in Dear Cupid too.
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female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (15 December 2011):
 This is an awesome article thankyou for sharing it. I learnt quite a bit from this and have become more confident with some things that I did naturally but wasn;t sure I was doing right. thankyou so much, it's brilliant.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are welcome maverick494
Glad you enjoyed it !
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (30 November 2011):
 Absolute love this.. wonderful, hope men and women take a look, these are the things that help to make good sex and good relationships.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (30 November 2011):
Really good article, definitely gave me something to think about! When you're not very experienced (like me) it is always a treat to read well thought out articles like this that make navigating sex land a bit easier. I think everyone wants to be the best lover they can be and this helps! I think the reason not many people have bothered to comment is because they have nothing much to add.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust been pointed out to me that this article has been shared on Facebook four times. You are awesome guys, who ever you are, out there. Thank you for reading and sharing the article like that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you jmtmj, Your answers are so good, thus i am especially tickled pink that took the time to comment.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (16 November 2010):
 Forget candles?? I'd think setting fire to the covers would certainly help to spice things up in the bedroom.Good article... now I just need to find a way to nonchalantly get my girl to stumble across this, maybe I could print it out and put it in a CLEO mag or something...
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