A
female
age
30-35,
*hygirl101
writes:Dear cupid, my boyfriend has this female friend hes always flirting with. ever since the beginning of our relationship it has been causing serious problems..ive even broke up with him over leaving flirtatious picture comments on her profile.he admitted to flirting with her and swore not to talk to her agian..but long story short hes talking to her again. he constantly begs her to text him and call him. she brushes him off and says no shes busy. she acts like she not into him at all but he continues like a stalker or something. and then when she says she wont text him he'll text me and say how much he loves me. i'm just sick of being second all the time. the rest of the time he pays no attention to me.im his shoulder he crys on,im the one who talks to him all night when he has a problem,he runs to me to take care of his every need but she gets all the attention and i get second place.i feel like he doesnt appreciate me anymore.he says all the right things but his actions prove different.this has been going on for two years!! i dont have a problem with him having female friends but what bothers me is that hes admitted to flirting with her and now theyve agreed to just be friends...yeah right!!! he claims hes known her forever but i really dont care it still makes me mad that they flirt..i dont think he'll ever change what is your take on this?? I'm giving him the silent treatment now.
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female
reader, Shygirl101 +, writes (17 November 2010):
Shygirl101 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone who anwsered.youre all right.i dont know how i put up with it.hes a very manipulative talker.and it has just started back up recently. but now i know i have to leave.but its easier said then done if youve ever been in love with someone so young.its over
A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (16 November 2010):
 He isn't going to change. Dump him. It sounds like he wants to be with her. If my bf did that for a day, it would be over. I don't play second.
You don't deserve this, find someone who will give you his undivided attention and make you first. I'm sure he wouldn't be okay when you all of a sudden become unavailable to meeting his needs all of the time. He will wonder where you have gone and why you aren't there. When he needs you, tell him you are busy.
I don't think you should put up with this any longer. Two years? No way. Good luck sweetie. You are way too young to have to put up with this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): Hiya
Well I don't know how you've put up with this for 2 years. If my bf did this for 2 weeks I would tell him its over.
Yes it is fine to have female friends but when he acknowledges that their conversations are more than just friendly then what more do you need to know?
Given half the chance he'd probably be with her in a flash. Break your silent treatment to tell him if he can't appreciate what he's got then he doesn't have you anymore. Then go back to the silent treatment. Don't be his shoulder to cry on or the one he can run to when things don't go right. Be strong as you deserve a guy that treats you like the only woman in the world and with respect.
Good Luck X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): just break up with this loser. Full marks for noticing his actions tell more about the man he is, than his manipulative words, which try to contradict the real story. He treats you like his mother. You are there, when he's not getting his own way. You pick up the pieces. The other girl excites him. Let her have his attention 24/7. She'll soon tell him to play elsewhere. Then he'll slink back to ever reliable you. Dont take him back. You deserve a man who is fascinated by you and truly adores you.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (16 November 2010):
 He won't change.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): Your boyfriend needs to make a clear-cut decision between is relationship with YOU or the relationship he's obviously trying to pursue with this friend of his.
You should have put an end to this or your relationship before the first year went by in my opinion.
I don't feel your being overly jelous based on what you've said.. But I certainly wouldn't waste my time on somebody treated me like that, but is all "goo goo ga ga" over someone else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): Hi. To all intents and purposes, he has been pursuing her for the 2 years that you have known him. And they have only now decided to 'just' be friends? What were they before? He obviously fancies her like mad but she isnt interested as such. Goodness knows how long its been going on but the guy has a problem with it, if its already made you break up with him once. AND hes still pursuing her after saying he wouldnt have any contact. I think you might be enabling him to a degree if its unacceptable behaviour but you still put up with it. Try being tougher about it, if its really making you unhappy. Its way past time he grows up and makes the decision to leave her alone if he doesnt want to lose you altogether.
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