A
female
age
36-40,
*uni
writes:hi im 22 years old and my boyfriend is 25, iv'e been with him for about 2 years there's something really wrong with him. in the past 2 years he's broke up with me about 15 times and his exuse is im scared of getting hurt... i keep telling him im not going to do anything to hurt him,we fight all the time about stupid things he's like i hate the world i hate everthing and he's racist,i hate that i think everyone is equal thats how it should be, he's like wogs are all the same up themselves treat women like crap blar blar blar.he always threatens me saying stuff like this is not working,im at the point im sick of trying to help him, he's so negative about everything i dont no where to start,he lives at home with his mum who is an alcoholic,me myself i would never wanna live in that enviroment not healthy there.what do i do???
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alcoholic, broke up, his ex, lives at home Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Why are you with this man? Do you love him? Really? Why?
What do you want? Can you live without him? If no, why not?
Do you like to be in an on-and-off-relationship? Is it the way of live you want carry on for the next 50 years? Yes? If not, why don't end it now???
How does your Mr.Right is like? Like your on-and-off-boyfriend? Yes?? If not, is it just "little things" you don't like - because really, NO ONE is perfect - and there is NO perfect Mr. Right! - and can you actually life with this "little things"? If not, why don't end it now???
Ask yourself this question and answer it to yourself! Hope it helps!
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 For heavens sake! It should be obvious what you should do!
Dump him - right now snd cut off any and all communication with him immediately. You have nothing in common with this man, and all you need do is to first say that, then second that you are ending it - after giving it some thought - and finally, you will not be in touch with him any more, not now and not in the future. Nor is he to contact you.
And that's it. End of story.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): "what do i do???" You stay and put up with this bullshit and let him drag you further and further down this hellish spiral. Because you feel sorry for him. That's what you do because you know that's what you're going to do.
The posters before me have told you what you "should" do. But we both know you're just going to persevere with this. So just get on with it.
"me myself i would never wanna live in that enviroment not healthy there" Oh really? And how would you describe your toxic relationship then? Newsflash: You are living in that environment through him. You are living in a unhealthy on/off relationship with a mental patient. Good luck with that.
"there's something really wrong with him" Actually I think there's something wrong with you too for staying with him, what do you want out of a relationship? Did you grow up thinking that your ideal relationship would be this, where you're a counselor, surrogate mother to a man who can't resolve his major issues?
When you were playing with your dolls as a kid is that the kind relationships you made them have? "No barbie I can't stay with you because you'll only hurt me, I'm going off to live with my alcoholic mother because I have to protect her from the wogs" "Oh Ken it's okay, I understand you're flawless logic. I'll be here when you get back, even though I'm thoroughly miserable, can't do anything to help you and will eventually get crushed by you"
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (17 November 2010):
I guess you are waiting for number 16, 17, 18...times.
I was told this when I was a kid, and I will tell you the same thing.
1st time...was a mistake.
2nd time...was coincidence.
3rd time... You are the fool.
This may sound harsh...but sometimes it's the only people learn.
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A
female
reader, cheannryl  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Dear find someone who'll treat you good.You're young and beautiful.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 November 2010):
How much longer will you torture yourself? Just get away from him.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Leave. For good.
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