A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What does it mean when your ex you've been with for six months, is constantly bringing you down, critising you, picking on you, mocking you and is still possesive, but then he says he is kidding, and he says im beautiful and perfect and his girl. Yet the next minute he hurts me again, saying im ugly, and whiney rarara... I dont understand. hes never said he hates me, but everyday he tells me he loves me, after hurting me so much, that im sobbing. He says it amuses him, because he likes being a twat to me, cause he loves me. it makes no sense. but i have no idea what to do. because of course like a bitch i still love him, and he knows it.When i told him about the girl who bullies me, he said she was hot, and he wanted her facebook. WTF?!Its liKE he keeps hurting me and hurting me, and then when i blow, by screaming at him, or sobbing, then he asks why i take it serious, hes just joking. Argh i dont even know wether my question makes sense.He also keeps saying. 'one day we WILL be together.' what the hell does that mean. when he cleraly looks as if he dosent want me, i think.He also keeps saying 'your never going to love anyone else or something like that.he tells me how no one likes me and shit one minute and then the next he says everyone envies me? im so confused and hurt all over.
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female
reader, natasia +, writes (18 November 2010):
 Look, I don't know if you can hear this, but if you self-harm, you also have one huge emotional problem, because when people are happy, balanced and ok, they would never ever dream of hurting themselves. To hurt yourself like this, you must have a very damaged self-image, and be hopeless somewhere inside. This makes you even more vulnerable, and it is even absolutely more reason not to be with a guy who is trying to train you to be his puppy.
You need some serious help, as what you are doing to yourself, and with him, is actually turning into something quite sick - I don't mean to say that horribly, but just so as you wake up and realise that if you continue on this path, you could end up very very seriously hurt, or worse.
You MUST do something. You must go to a doctor, and / or a loved one. And you must break up with this guy. I know, though, that you are in no fit state to do that, which is why you must let those who love and care for you, or whose responsibility it is to care for you (eg, doctor) help you now. Do it, please.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUPDATE: yes this person is me.
But. Things seem tobe getting worse. I KNOW ims tupid enough to do this. But he wanted me to take pictures of my self harming. And i did it. jesus hes sick. but i love him.He told me he loved me last night. And didnt even hurt me yesterday.. is he changing?
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A
female
reader, JustKalie1010  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 Break up with him. He seems to have serious problems. You could end up getting really hurt, and it seems like you already have. Actually it seems like he's hurt you more than he's made you happy. You should be in charge. Teach him a lesson by breaking up with him. You don't deserve a guy like him. No one does.
Also don't listen to what he says! He's probably trying to get a reaction out of you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): I feel for you because i had a similar experience a couple of years ago. I was with my boyfriend for over a year and he behaved in a similar way to your boyfriend from your description. He continually belittled me andade me feel awful whilst also encouragingy dependence in him. I finally broke up with him when things began to get even worse. He then attacked me, in a public place in the middle of the day he pushed me to the ground and banged my head in the concrete repeatedly. Please don't make my mistake, break up with him before anything worse happens. You'll find someone prepared to love you like you deserve to be. Love Anna
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 He sounds seriously messed up in the head and seems to enjoy being in control of you and your emotions.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (14 November 2010):
He has serious emotional issues, and is a very very difficult person to be with. He has a sadistic streak, emotionally, and is also emotionally detached, as doesn't react normally when he has upset you.
It isn't you at all: it is him. The problem is, you are getting such confusing and hurtful feedback from him all the time, and you never know where you are.
I'm afraid he will always be like this, lovey. You won't change him. Either he was just wired like this, or has become like this as a reaction to his environment as a child. Either way, he is really impossible as a partner.
Don't listen to what he says - it is nonsense, and he's only playing around with words to see their effect on you.
You really would be better off without him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): I'm in the same boat as you on this one. My ex boyfriend loves to put me down and make me upset,but whenever i start to show emotion and cry he says he's sorry and he loves me. Are we back to kindergarden where the boys are mean to the girls they like or are guys just turds?
I'm going with them being turds!(:
good luck!
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A
female
reader, Eskim0  +, writes (14 November 2010):
This guy sounds like a douche who has absolutely no self esteem. It's like he feels though he needs to cut you down to get an inkling of self importance. Believe me, you don't need someone like this in your life.
Move on, he's an ex for a reason and it's called a break-up because it's broken. Don't dwell on the past. How can you possibly find the person you're meant to be with if you stay with the wrong person?
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