A
female
age
30-35,
*ubyrose
writes:ok so been on 6 dates with this guy- im 21, hes 22-- have no intention of getting more intimate until much later on in the relationship (im a virgin and believe in waiting until love)... but last night we were making out on his bed (all clothes on) and we kind of were grinding/dry humping i suppose... is this wrong of me to allow given that i wont go further (i.e. oral/hand/sex) until later on?*havent told him that virgin, would only bring that up once things got serious etcjust some clarifications - im 21 and in my first "Relationship" (although we're not exclusive yet/ he doesnt know my dating history)... im a virgin waiting for love, but im also shy/self-conscious and so want to take the physical stuff slow... been seeing this guy for a bit over a month (6 dates)- we had our first kiss on our fourth date; and on our fifth and 6th had some make out sessions.. he tried to get under my shirt on the fifth- but i didnt let him. he didnt try on the 6th but we "grinded" (?clothes on etc).. just wondering if this ok for the early stages of a relationship where i dont intend to go "below the belt" etc until i feel more comfortable/a few more months...there is no pressure for me to take care of his erections if i dont feel comfortable yet right?and i dont have to bring up my lack of sexual experience etc until a few months in when the question of sex is brought up? should i just assume he understands that i want to go slow by moving his hands away (he seems to get the message pretty clearly) or should i actually talk to him and ask him whether it makes him uncomfortable/whether im a tease?thanks in advance!
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female
reader, rubyrose +, writes (16 November 2010):
rubyrose is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok, cool with not havign to take care of the erection.thanks for that.
but do i have to actually talk to him about taking it slow, or should i see if he gets the point and just follows my lead? / should i tell him that i dont mean to be a tease?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): You are doing exactly the same thing I would be doing if I had a boyfriend. Taking it slow. Who says you have to kiss on the first date? There are no rules, everything is entirely up to you. Don't let him pressure you into anything.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 Yeah, let him take care of his own erection..you stay in control. It's entirely your call how fast you let things happen. He'll respect you for it.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (15 November 2010):
 If he gets an erection its not your duty to "take care of it".
Take it as slow as you like... its more fun anyways :)
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A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 I don't think you're being a tease.
From what you said, he seems to have got the point that you don't want to be that sexually intimate yet.
I can imagine that we wont take it further unless you initiate something.
You don't need to tell him that you are a virgin. Maybe just tell him that you don't want to get that sexual yet.
If he respects you and your wishes, he should understand and give you the time you need.
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