A
female
age
30-35,
BlackHeart24
writes:Hello ladies and gentlemen I'm here to ask you a question. How many of you have been on a relationship where your bf/gf has pressured you to do something you REALLY didn't want to do and they would tell you "If you really loved me, you'll..." and you did whatever they wanted you to do? and later you regret the decision? For future couples out there DON'T YOU BELIEVE IT that is the biggest lie ever used in the history of relationships. I speak from personal experiences with that horrible sentence. When I was 13 my ex-boyfriend was hell-bent on getting me to have sex with him and everytime he would ask I would tell him no and one day he told me the most annoying thing in the world...." If you really love me you'd have sex with me" and I thought I was in love and I almost did until I realized that it wasn't love if he was pressuring me to do something I didn't want to so I left his house and we broke up the next day. Now looking back on it I realize that I was foolish to think that I should do something I don't want to to keep someone . To get my point across if you bf/gf tells you that then they're not worth keeping you shouldn't have to change your mind because someone tells you if you really love me because that's not love.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Great insight for someone so young. Nice article. I've heard that line too.
joeyj, accepting someone's past is different. Yes, stating it in the way you put is similar, but really retroactive jealousy is just as harmful to a relationship. Two wrongs don't make a right. If you can't get over someone's past, move on. If someone tries to get you to do something you're not ready to do in the name of "love," that's emotional blackmail and a sign of a manipulative personality. Again you should move on.
Nice article BlackHeart24.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 "What about "If you really loved me then you would accept my sexual past"? Do we get to criticize this type of manipulative emotional blackmail too?"
This isn't a gender orientated attack dude, three times this post implies that this is a unisex issue. Guys AND girls alike who use the line "if you really loved me then you'd do (x)" are the ones in the cross-hairs here... so yeh, feel free to criticize any girl who uses that line on you.
Worthwhile post blackheart24 :)
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A
male
reader, joeyj +, writes (15 November 2010):
What about "If you really loved me then you would accept my sexual past"?
Do we get to criticize this type of manipulative emotional blackmail too?
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (15 November 2010):
 I agree wholeheartedly, saying this sort of thing to a person you're with is awful and wrong.
What I'd like to see is an alternative for someone who really feels that, if the other person loved them, they'd do something. Say, for instance, one person in a married couple is not getting as much sex as they used to be getting, because the other person is no longer interested.
Really, I think some people who say it mean it - though if they were really thinking about it, they would avoid it (I'm amused that I just typed that and didn't think of the irony until a moment later). Is there an alternative? One that conveys the desire without putting too much pressure on the other person (some pressure is okay, adults are supposed to be able to deal with it)?
I can't think of one right now. Anyone has an idea, post it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): im sort of in a situation lik that but he doesnt tell me in that way he just gets mad at me because i say no then makes me feel bad so i do what ever he wants. our relationship keeps getting worse i just dont know what to do no more...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): i fell into that whole "real love crap"... big surprise,he left.. awsome for me but i got over it cause turns out only being with me wasn't good enough for him. Glad to see that you can tell right from wrong unlike me.
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