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... Send *opeful a private message | | | *opeful's profile:Hi - I'm 23 and live in Australia. I'm single.
I enjoy reading everyone's posts and seeing if there is anything I can suggest which may help them.
I don't think I know all the answers but I think it is important to look at these problems from a lot of different angles to try and find the best solution.
Sometimes I think it is important to play Devil's advocate and really look at all the issues and all the options before making a final one.
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What can I say to shut him up?
Q. He got back together with his ex-girlfriend months ago. He is now consistently emailing me a one-liner about once a month, apparently so I don't forget about him...gag. I know the best thing to do is nothing, but I'd love to reply with something ...
A. 3 April 2006: Hmm. Exes are very odd. They don't seem to understand that after they have broken your heart that you are not interested in their thoughts on life and their happenings. If you were interested, you would ask. They don't seem to get that idea.
I wou... (read in full...)
I'll keep it simple:
Q. what is foreplay?...
A. 3 April 2006: It is physical acts that generally lead to sex.
What it is exactly will depend on the person and the situation.
Generally it is kissing, touching, fondelling, dirty talk etc. Acts to get each other turned on and excited. ... (read in full...)
Are we ready for marraige as teenagers?
Q. my boyfriend wants to marry me and i know its not just for sex cuz he wants to marry me later. he is 17 and i =ma 16 can he really have true feelings like that? signed confused-...
A. 3 April 2006: Why the rush into marriage? Why not just enjoy being teenagers and being together. Enjoy your lifestyle before you have to worry about things like mortgages and full time work and gas bills and car repayments etc etc etc.
You are still so young an... (read in full...)
She used to be a swallow!
Q. My g.f used to swallow after Oral sex. Now, she wont. She jumps up and runs to the bathroom and then i hear her spitting. I could understand if she never did that before. But SHE HAS!. ...
A. 31 March 2006: Perhaps she did it at first because the relationship was new, where now, she thinks that she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to.
When the relationship is new sometimes we do things inside and outside the bedroom that when the relation... (read in full...)
I like him but I'm too shy to speak to him!
Q. Theres a guy i really like and i'm pretty sure he knows that. The problem is i'm quite shy so I can never speak to him in person. Now i'm sure theres this other girl who likes him as well but he's always flirting with her. I've liked this guy for ...
A. 31 March 2006: When you say that you have never spoken to him in person, does this mean that you have never spoken to him? How do you know him?
I think that, I know its hard, that you are just going to have to bite the bullet and have a chat to him.
Find ou... (read in full...)
I'm starting to fancy my ex's friend, is this good or bad!?
Q. Hey guys, another question on a slightly different subject. I have been talking a little bit with this one girl who is friends with both me and my ex, and is also the ex-girlfriend of one of my buddies. She is cute and easy to talk to since sh...
A. 31 March 2006: Angelicc put it very well. You are still hung up on your ex and you need to make sure that you are feeling like you have healed and moved on before you start a new relationship.
I would get to know this girl better and enjoy her friendsh... (read in full...)
Where's the borderline for possesive behaviour?
Q. my boyfriend is on the borderline of being possessive. I know its partly because he's putting in so much that he's got a lot to loose, but how do you know if someone crosses the line to being obsessive and controlling? and if they cross over, is it ...
A. 31 March 2006: It is hard to say without detail but I think that if you begin to feel scared of him, intimidated by him, afraid to tell him very basic things like catching up with an old friend for coffee etc or things became abusive either physically or verbally, ... (read in full...)
I'm not quite sure if he's flirting with me or just being nice....
Q. Dose this mean he is flirting with me? He is my colleague and I'm not sure if he fancy me or not. Becasue he is a married man so I don't know the words or the way he treated me is normal or something special because I am quiet youger than h...
A. 31 March 2006: He may be flirting with you or he may just be friendly and nice.
Noticing someone has lost weight or they look nice is sometimes an indicator that someone may fancy you but sometimes it is just someone being nice.
Some men and women just h... (read in full...)
I want to believe badly that her new man is only a rebound!
Q. Hey guys, I've asked a few questions before, so a lot of you probably know what my situation is. My ex means so much to me and I'd like to maintain hope. Here's the thing, I think that she might think that she is in love with her rebound guy ...
A. 30 March 2006: I would give her some space. She knows you care about her but suffocating her with all this attention and gifts is just going to make her mad.
Leave her for a while and then maybe get in touch in a few weeks and just say hi. Very simple. ... (read in full...)
Online dating hooked me up with a cute chick, aged 18... who then turned out to be 16!
Q. Hello. I'm 28. I've met this great girl through an online dating service which of course you are required to be 18 for and it even asks for credit card info. She said she was 18. Three weeks into the relationship, she confesses to me that she is ...
A. 30 March 2006: I would be questioning the dating service who let 16 years on when it is meant for 18 years and over.
Secondly, I think you really need to look at her maturity and how trustworthy she really is.
And thirdly, as a 28 year old guy, do you real... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a distant relative...
Q. Hi I am 13 and have a lovely boyfriend but he's related distantly. Is that OK? And also I think I'm fat around my tummy. What can I do to stop this? I think I'm pretty and stuff but I think my tummy is fat. ...
A. 30 March 2006: For fat on the tummy, do some crunches and sit ups. Swimming and walking are also really good for the tummy, especially power walking, so is bike riding.
If you do a search on the net you should be able to find some sites with some great exercise... (read in full...)
I stayed after school and ended up having sex with my ICT teacher!
Q. I really fancy my ICT teacher. Then last night I stayed at school late to finish my dida (ICT ) coursework, and during that time, me and my teacher were talking and he leaned over and kissed me. We ended up having sex and now I don't know what to ...
A. 30 March 2006: I don't particularly think this sounds like a healthy relationship for you. I agree with Tux on this one.
I think that it is concerning that a 26 year old teacher sleeps with a 15 year old student. Most would find it an abuse of power. The fact... (read in full...)
Not sure if the girl I'm interested has a boyfriend already. How can I find out?
Q. I want to ask this girl out. The only problem is that she has a child and while I'm not saying I wouldn't go near a girl who has a child, I don't know whether she already has a boyfriend or is a single mother. Being shy, I can't bring myself to ask ...
A. 30 March 2006: The best way is just to ask questions that lead into each other - ie. my friend fancied a bloke she worked with and she wanted to know his status so she asked him things like "the traffic was bad on the way here today, how did you find it" then ... (read in full...)
Been chatting and emailling with a girl... What's a good time to ask her to dinner?
Q. I met a girl on the internet recently, and we have been emailing back and forth for the last few weeks. We have this thing going where we ask the other person 20 questions with each email, and then they answer them and send 20 of their own when they ...
A. 30 March 2006: I would ask her to dinner now. I think that the longer you hold it off, the harder and scarier it is going to be.
I think you give her a call and ask her if she is free to catch up for a meal.
It sounds like you have built up a good friendshi... (read in full...)
Do I stay with the guy who treats me well, or go back to my first love?
Q. Help I'm 15 and I'm sooo confused. I was going out with this guy (a) for ages and I can truly say I loved him to bits, but things didn't work out between us. Anyway now I'm going out with (b) and things are great between us. He treats me fantas...
A. 30 March 2006: Why didn't things work?
What were the issues, was it a lack of attraction? a personality clash? wrong timing?
I think perhaps this sounds like a case of the grass is always greener?... (read in full...)
I met a man, but he's married!
Q. I met a man a little over a week ago when I was at a club last weekend. I noticed him from across the room and one of my friends went over to him and he came over to our table. We ended up really hitting it off it was amazing and I think at that ...
A. 29 March 2006: I agree with Tux here. There are some bigger questions here about this guy. It all sounds very suspicious and i think that getting involved with a married man is never the greatest idea because: you could be setting yourself up for a painful ... (read in full...)
I had to cancel our date, and now she hasn't called me....
Q. Met this girl at work, we talked over the phone a couple of times and hookup at work to see each other and we had agreed to meet up on a Friday to go out or in her case hang over her house for the first date. Well my job has put me on this shift ...
A. 29 March 2006: I would call her and ask her out on a proper date - not this go over to her place and hang out. Treat her like a lady not one of your footy mates.
Ring her and ask her to dinner, someplace nice. Apologise again and say that you understand if she i... (read in full...)
She admitted she has kissed other guys, what am I to do about this?
Q. I went out with my girlfriend the other night and we got chatting to a couple of guys whilst we were out, we ended up going to a club with them and I saw one of the guys come out of the toilet walk up to my gf and kiss her. I hit the guy a few times ...
A. 29 March 2006: I think there are far too many lies, mind games, lack of trust and guilt in this relationship for it to be one that is happy and successful.
Don't feel guilty because of her past but don't feel obligated to trust her either.
If you can't trust ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is really childish and isn't changing. What should I do?
Q. my boyfriend of (9)nine years is still acting childish and it's a big keep back in our relationship i really do love him but it's really fustrating.now i'm meeting other people that i'm attracted to and i have feelings for one. what should i do ...
A. 29 March 2006: Perhaps its not so much that he is not changing, perhaps it is just the relationship has matured and perhaps is not best for you anymore.
Perhaps you used to put up with this behaviour when things were great but now, maybe it seems childish... (read in full...)
We split briefly-he slept with his ex and now she's pregnant and he's the father! Do I stick around and support him or just leave?
Q. Should I stay or go? I need someone outside my relationship to help me. My fiance and I have been together for 2 1/2 years, however, we split briefly at the beginning of last year. During this time he slept with his ex, I'm not mad about that - w...
A. 29 March 2006: Before you make a decision I would talk to him and find out how he is feelign about it and what he is planning to do. How involved does he want to be? How will it compromise his lifestyle - ie. will he move to be closer to the child, will he want a ... (read in full...)
Can a first kiss tell a relationships future??
Q. Is it possible to tell how a relationship will go from the first kiss?...
A. 29 March 2006: I actually think the first kiss tells you about the relationship but only in hindsight, once the relationship is very far along or over.
First kisses are not a predictive tool - they can tell a few things about your partner but its the way they... (read in full...)
Our son wants a girlfriend... But an old one!
Q. I am concerned about my son. He is 16 and has been recently telling me that he wants a girlfriend. Nothing odd about that... except he wants an elderly one (i.e. 60+). I said to him that he must be joking, but he insists that it's genuine. My so...
A. 29 March 2006: Why does he think that older ladies make better girlfriends than younger ones? Perhaps it is worth asking in more detail why.
Of course, I don't know why he is thinking this way but here are some suggestions that you may want to consider... (read in full...)
How soon should after being dumped should you start dating?
Q. Hi, i was just wondering how soon is appropriate to start seeing someone else after spliting up with a long-term boyfriend. I am in position where, my boyfriend dumped me about 2 weeks ago (after 3 yrs) and a male friend of mine has told me that he ...
A. 28 March 2006: Depends on the person, depends on how deeply involved emotionally the person was, depends on who broke up with who, etc etc etc.
There is no set timeframe. It is important to do what feels right but make sure you have had time to grieve the loss... (read in full...)
We're engaged but I used a fake AOL screen name and found out he's looking for more! Am I being deceitful?
Q. I made an aol screen name to talk to my fiance to check to see if he was cheating on me.. Am I deceitful to do that??... The story is.. I'm a full-time office assistant in the morning and a student by night and on top of that i'm a mother of two....
A. 28 March 2006: I agree with the other posts. What you did wasn't ideal but you had to find out and it was a way to do it.
I think you need to end the conversation between him and the "imaginary" girl and do what Lisa says, print them out and show him and then... (read in full...)
My bf found out I lied about my past lovers and now he's upset..how can I make it up to him?
Q. i lied to my boyfriend about how many people i slept with before him and he can't seem to get over it, i've tried to say all that i could but he didnt even want me near him ... things are better now but it just doesnt feel the same between us. what ...
A. 28 March 2006: I can understand why he might be upset but it seems that he is carrying on a bit.
Upset and annoyed is one thing but carrying on like a pork chop is just silly.
I think that you should tell him or message him or write him a note and say to ... (read in full...)
This guy doesn't treat me so well and he's always making up excuses. HELP!
Q. Hi I'm a 17 year old girl This guy used to treat me like shit and we used to fall out all the time though we both fancy each other like mad. he was into mindgames which is why he treated me like this...but he changed about a year ago and started ...
A. 28 March 2006: Why do you want to spend time with someone who treats you like this? Why do you want to be around someone who is only nice to you when they want to have sex with you?
Forget the excuses, he treats you badly and I wouldn't stand for it. You dese... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a person to tell you "let's keep our relationship a secret". What do you think?
Q. Is it normal for someone that you just started dating to tell you to keep your relationship a secret?...
A. 28 March 2006: Hard to say without much detail.
It's not generally normal but sometimes there are unusual circumstances in which people may think it is best to hide a relationship for a little while ie. a friend of mine started dating her exe's best friend a... (read in full...)
Engaged to be married, I had a "little to much to drink" and slept with my best friend's fiance (who is also my fiance's best friend)...
Q. Cheating....... Ok, I know that cheating is NEVER ok, and I don't support thouse who cheat, but I have cheated. For the first time in my life. 2 days ago, I slept with my best friend's fiance. I am also engaged to be married. My fiance is the ...
A. 27 March 2006: I'm sorry to hear that you feel like you have no one you can tell.
I think you are genuinely remorseful and I can tell you love your fiance very much and don't want to hurt him or upset him, but you have done something wrong and you do need to ... (read in full...)
Been married two weeks and I HATE foreplay!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been married all of two weeks...and I HATE IT when my husband goes down on me. I dont feel like any foreplay activity either...that was not how i really thought i am.I am not too attached yet,but dont have any other romantic p...
A. 27 March 2006: Take this opportunity to get him to do to you what you want. Tell him what feels good and what doesn't. If he does something you don't like, tell him what you do like and teach him how to do it properly.
It sounds like a bit of inexperi... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned about his weird phone habits!?
Q. I have a question. Okay, here's the situation. My boyfriend is pretty good, I'd say our relationship is pretty healthy, we respect each other and have separate interests and friends, encourage each other, etc. He cares for me when I don't feel wel...
A. 27 March 2006: I agree - maybe he is just trying to save some cash. Maybe his company have recently made people start paying for personal mobile calls and they can be costly.
I wouldn;t be too worried, the fact that he never is upset or angry that you are out ... (read in full...)
16 years old and in love with a 29 year old woman!!
Q. hi im 16 year old male.and ive fell in love with a 29 year old woman,we have been getting on so well and i really like her but the age gap doesnt matter to me but to her it dose can u help plz cause i really want to make ago of it with her and i kn...
A. 27 March 2006: I think that age gap is an issue because it means something different to different people. Whilst it might not be technically statutory rape if she were to sleep with you, some others may find it morally wrong, others may think it is fine. That is ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be pregant even though my bf didn't cum??
Q. Hey, I'm 16 and me and my 19 year old bf had unprotected sex yesterday. Even though he never actually cums he was about to yesterday and he had to stop because of it anyway even tho he didn't cum I am just wonderring if I could still be pregnant? Is ...
A. 27 March 2006: I think it is advisable to get yourself to your GP and discuss with him/her. They are in the best position to help you and give you the best advice.
I think that way you can avoid stress and worry and also ensure that you have informat... (read in full...)
My bf is goin away on a working holiday but does he intend to come back sooner than planned for me??
Q. I have posted twice about this already, but, really, I still feel so scared and confused, and would like some new advice/insight. My boyfriend of just over a year told me a month ago that he was soon going on a working holiday for 2 years, and whil...
A. 27 March 2006: I think he is confused about the whole thing as well - I don't think he is messing with you or leading you on, I think deep down he is insecure about the whole plan anyway.
2 years is a long time to go and work in a foreign place. Some people I... (read in full...)
My friends hooked me up with this girl but I don't think shes over her ex. Please help!!
Q. Hello there. In need of some help and advice! I'm 16 years old btw. Basically, my friends introduced me to this girl and we hooked up and now we been seeing each other for a week or so, But...she just broke up with her exboyfriend of 2 years (on a...
A. 27 March 2006: It is a tricky one. Firstly I would enjoy your trip to the states and enjoy LA, it is an amazing place so have fun.
Secondly, I would have a chat with her and tell her that you are really into her but you respect that she has just come out of a... (read in full...)
Found my brother and our stepmum in flagrante!
Q. I am 15 year old girl and yesterday I caught my 17 year old brother having sex with our 30 year old stepmum. I was totally disgusted at the sight of brother and stepmum going at it like rabbits the moment they caught sight of me they jumped out of b...
A. 27 March 2006: I think you need to tell your father. There are a lot of issues here, including the welfare of your brother.
I know this is very difficult for you and I think you have already made a brave step by admitting it here on the site and trying to decid... (read in full...)
I work six days a week while my partner lays in bed. Am I being taken advantage of?
Q. I feel like I am being used, I work 6 days a week whilst my partner stays home. Sometimes she is still in bed when I get home from work. We do not sleep together anymore, she stays up all night watching television and smoking dope. I also do the s...
A. 26 March 2006: I think you are but the other issue here, is that it just doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship by the fact that you don't sleep together anymore, she uses drugs, she doesn't seem to have any motivation or drive, you run on completely ... (read in full...)
When will my periods start?
Q. when do my periods start? i have been waiting for 15 years...i can't take this much more, all my mates are bleeding but i am not ...
A. 26 March 2006: They start at different times for different people. Some girls start at 10, some at 13, some at 16...it depends on the individual's body, their hormones, genes etc.
I would have a chat with your GP and also perhaps your mum. Some people say that... (read in full...)
He's hit me, slept with my best friend and is bullying me into working harder. Am I being treated unfairly or is it all in my head?
Q. i have been with my partner now for 3 and a half years, we have a daughter together and she is 2, just lately he addmitted to me that he had slept with my best friend, in the past he has hit me, threatend me and i am scared of him when he has had a ...
A. 24 March 2006: I think this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all.
He has cheated on you, abused you physically and mentally and I think that he shows very little respect for you.
I think you need to, and I know you love him, but walk away. This ... (read in full...)
I can't handle work anymore, it's affecting my health!
Q. Hi I wrote in a few days ago, but my problem has somehow changed, last night I had some severe pains in my chest and heart, I'm 23yrs, how pathetic is that. My folks tell me to calm down, not to take things so seriously. I stress about work, i wo...
A. 23 March 2006: I think that you need to first of all, have a chat with your GP to have a chat about the anxiety and the pains in your chest. That is not a good thing to hear and I think its important to get some medical advice.
This problem will not be solved u... (read in full...)
Golden Showers don't sound very appealing to me...should I take a chance?
Q. i was sitting with my boyfriend the other night when he asked if i'd be interested in giving him a golden shower. i was taken aback considering that i had never heard of it until he explained. i dont know if i'd enjoy doing THAT on a mans chest! ...
A. 23 March 2006: It's hard to explain sometimes why one thing can turn on one person and disgust another.
This is a tricky one - As Carrie Bradshaw said "its a regular fantasy - the princess and the pee".
I think that you should ask him why it turns him on bec... (read in full...)
Shouldn't my friend go for it with her younger guy? Why does she care about the age difference?
Q. Hi, My friend is 29 and she has got this guy after her but he's 17. They really get on and I think they are falling in love with each other but she says it's the age gap that's stopping them. But I think if you love each other that much, age shou...
A. 23 March 2006: It is tough one because some people see age as no barrier whilst for others it can be a big problem.
I think that it is important that you don't pressure your friend into anything. At the end of the day it is her life, not yours.
She may find ... (read in full...)
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